Current reading // Above excerpt from: No One Here Belongs Here More Than You by Miranda July ♥

My New Vagina: When you walk around the house wearing only a bra, vintage slip and a skirt (read: no pantaloons made that list) and make a habit of getting shit faced pretty often, a vagina is bound to make a public appearance.

So a few days ago I apparently passed out (trashed) spread eagle on the recliner. My host, Dick (read: real name Dick) was naturally as a man, the first to notice. He would not stop carrying on about this the next day as we proceeded to get drunk yet again.

He explained that after living with Anna, my other host and his girlfriend of over 4 years, to see a bare vagina in his home was to see "NEW VAGINA!" which I'm sorry, is really hilarious to me. I will never refer to my snatch as a pussy or anything else again. This here is new vagina. Could be the name of your new band.



Dick: My host. At first I was intimidated by having to call a young man by this chosen nickname but it has become quite a thrill and yes, I often have flashbacks to the "Dick" speech in Reservoir Dogs. That's a lot of Dick. Best incident thus far with his grand name was over a game of Uno when I hit him with a "draw 4" card. I exclaimed "Take that Dick!" to which he exclaimed, "How many times has that been said to you, though?" OH! "I loved it!"



Romance: I thank you so much for your musings to my last semi-horrific entry but I have fired all of those candidates. I fired them all actually within a day or so of that autopsy. Flakes and all around obvious fags b/c I'm kind of gorgeous.

I wound up meeting a nice guy through a dating site oddly and am hoping for round two so I don't want to hex myself by spilling it here. When I asked if he'd want to see me again, he replied "Of course" and "Duh." Really? And this guy doesn't have 7 cats. Two jobs, though, which is a turn on and my age for once. I hope something good may come!

♥ ♥ ♥

I may not be here as often as I used to. If you hear from me, you do and if you don't, it's not personal.

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Current reading // Above excerpt from: No One Here Belongs Here More Than You by Miranda July ♥