- I mean, this is almost worth getting out of my grave for: 5:07 AM Sep 18th from web
- This is almost getting out of my grave for: 6:15 AM Sep 17th from web
- There’s a fool proof method to help you stop smoking in bed. Buy a water bed and fill it with petrol9:53 AM Sep 16th from API
- If I was still alive, I'd put on a frock and lead this from the front: 12:50 AM Sep 15th from web
- The last man in the world goes into a bar. “Drink”, he says, “I’d like another bartender”9:33 AM Sep 6th from API
- On Sunday Sept 6th in Hyde Park you can watch 109 ladies run to support my campaign. Be a change to see ladies running and not running away10:48 AM Sep 3rd from web
- My pals at The X Foundation are looking for an intern. Can any of you
whippersnappers recommend someone special? 2:34 AM Sep 3rd from web
- I like humour but the lack of funding for prostate cancer research is a joke and it’s not funny. Donate at and raise a smile9:51 AM Aug 28th from API
- How about organising an event to raise funds for research. It's easy & It'll be a laugh. Visit to see how7:09 AM Aug 24th from API
- We had a dog once who liked to drink out of the toilet. It used to make me laugh.... I’m very ticklish down there.7:19 AM Aug 21st from web
- Follow in my footsteps and become a stand-up comedian in aid of
charity. Training provided. Get in touch quick! 8:45 AM Aug 20th from web
- I heard smokers were suing tobacco companies for lung damage and winning. I told my wife, “quick, sue Cadbury’s" - for thigh damage2:04 AM Aug 19th from web
- Apparently, US survival rates from prostate cancer, are double those in the UK. So Brits have twice as much reason to donate to research3:54 AM Aug 17th from web
- Just a reminder - for every bottle of Sunraysia tomato juice Sainsbury's, Waitrose or Tesco sell, 5P goes to prostate research, Bottoms up8:16 AM Aug 15th from web
- Great news. Instead of throwing tomatoes at dodgy comedians, you can fight prostate cancer with them thanks to Sunraysia tomato juice3:33 AM Aug 14th from web
- Dogs like Pit bulls are really scary. When one fell passionately in love with my leg, I didn’t know what to do so I faked an orgasm9:24 AM Aug 12th from API
- I knew it was time for my wife to go on a diet when we went to the Opera and no one would leave til she sang9:51 AM Aug 11th from web
- Nothing is more wasted than a dazzling smile on the face of a slender girl with a 40 inch bust1:24 PM Aug 8th from API
- Never tell a woman you are unworthy of her... Believe me she already knows8:55 AM Aug 5th from API
- By the way prostate research - urgently needs funds. Making a donation won’t kill you, prostate cancer on the other hand...10:25 AM Aug 4th from API
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- Name Bob Monkhouse
- Location 6ft under
- Web http://www.giveaf...
- Bio The twitterings of a dead comedian
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