Biography
Amy Dickinson joined Chicago Tribune in July 2003 as the newspaper's signature general advice columnist.
Prior to the Tribune, Dickinson ...
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When abuse won't stop, it's time to leave
February 21, 2010
Dear Amy: I have been married for nearly 41 years.
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When texts turn raunchy don't press 'send'
February 20, 2010
Dear Amy: I'm a 14-year-old girl and a freshman in high school.
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Damaged crash couch cause for concern
February 19, 2010
Dear Amy: A furniture dispute is turning an old friendship upside-down.
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Ask Amy responds to Tiger's performance
February 19, 2010
I thought Tiger's statement was great. He did exactly what he needed to do -- he acknowledged his actions, apologized for his behavior, and pledged to keep the ongoing repair work he will undertake with his wife private. He also seemed genuinely embarrassed and horrified by reports that his wife had attacked him. He defended her, which he needed to do.
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College student wants to choose 'Dad'
February 18, 2010
Dear Amy: I am a college student. Over the past five years, my relationship with my adopted father has become very strained. We hardly talk to each other, and this is because of how verbally abusive he has been to me.
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Trouble at the trough for piggy eater
February 17, 2010
Dear Amy: I'm married to an intelligent, educated professional man.
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Co-worker's coziness cause for concern
February 16, 2010
Dear Amy: I share office space with a colleague. Our space is detached from the rest of the office.
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Grandma wants to dethrone 'tyrannical' 3-year-old
February 15, 2010
Dear Amy: As a grandmother, I am concerned about my grandson's lack of discipline.
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Coffee, tea or nothing for newlyweds
February 14, 2010
Dear Amy: Our grandson recently got married and one Sunday afternoon the newlyweds paid us an unexpected visit. After visiting for a short while, I thought my wife should have offered them some coffee or tea.
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Inheritance imbalance causes family rift
February 13, 2010
Dear Amy: My wife's mother died recently. My wife and I (and her brother and his wife) are all professionals and well off. My wife's sister is a single mom and unemployed.
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Nursing home worker crosses the line
February 12, 2010
Dear Amy: My mother and "Barbie" started working in a nursing home more than 25 years ago and are good friends.
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Father, bride tussle over wedding bill
February 11, 2010
Dear Amy: I have a 30-year-old daughter who just finished a short-lived marriage to a useless alcoholic. Within a few days of the ink getting dried on the papers, she announced she is engaged to a really nice guy (he is).
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Nasty in-laws create a painful legacy
February 9, 2010
Dear Amy: I have been married for 30 years. I endured put-downs, slurs and nastiness from my husband's parents for the entirety of our marriage — with no help from my husband.
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Sexual abuse warrants immediate action
February 8, 2010
Dear Amy: The Department of State is both troubled and concerned by the letter in your column from "Worried," regarding the allegation of a host parent abusing an international exchange student.
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It's time to treat adult son like an adult
February 7, 2010
Dear Amy: How do I convey a simple lesson about manners to "Jim," my adult son?
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Father is in need of visits to a therapist
February 6, 2010
Dear Amy: My mother is my father's third wife. My father loves my mother very much, and we're quite comfortable with his discussing his first wives because we know he loved them very much and especially because he has two children with each who visit frequently, and with whom my mother and I get along very well.
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He's snarling over 'cougar' trend
February 5, 2010
Dear Amy: Am I the only one disturbed by the trend of "cougars"?
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Everybody should have this problem
February 4, 2010
Dear Amy: My husband and I have been happily married for 25 years. We have two sons in college. We are in the fortunate position of being completely financially secure. We have a nice home in a great neighborhood. We have a great life and support causes important to us.
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Neglected kids need an advocate
February 3, 2010
Dear Amy: I have a major dilemma. I had to evict a toxic tenant. Police are involved, and it is all very ugly.
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Once-abusive mom still needs limits
February 2, 2010
Dear Amy: I am a married mother of two young boys. I grew up in a volatile home, because my mother was verbally (and sometimes physically) abusive toward us, especially my father.
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Change in fiance frustrates future family
February 1, 2010
Dear Amy: I am a 23-year-old woman with a 4-year-old son. -
Stepmom shouldn't look for trouble
January 30, 2010
Dear Amy: My 15-year-old stepdaughter just moved in with us. The day she arrived, my husband welcomed her home and told her, "Everything here is yours," in front of me.
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Battered husband fears for his safety
January 29, 2010
Dear Amy: I recently remarried after 16 years of a first marriage, which ended because of an act of infidelity by my former wife.
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Flier hasn't cleared armrest for liftoff
January 28, 2010
Dear Amy: I fly about three out of four weeks per month. I am a small person, 5 foot 3 inches tall and weighing 112 pounds.
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She can't move in or move on
January 27, 2010
Dear Amy: I have been involved with a man for more than four years. We are both in our late 50s.
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In a fix over calls for free advice
January 26, 2010
Dear Amy: My husband is a homebuilder and can fix just about anything.
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Be happy boyfriend is treating depression
January 25, 2010
Dear Amy: I recently discovered that my boyfriend of six months is taking an antidepressant. I know this because I work in pharmaceuticals and have experience in this therapeutic category.
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Woman feels her world is out of control
January 24, 2010
Dear Amy: In a burst of good will, I invited my mother-in-law to come live with us 13 years ago. I honestly thought this was an arrangement that might last five years, tops (she was 76 at the time). -
Wedding date shouldn't be set in stone
January 23, 2010
Dear Amy: My cousin and I got engaged on the same day. I've been with my boyfriend for 18 months, and she has been with hers for only 11 months. -
Dad, daughter must move on with help
January 22, 2010
Dear Amy: My mom died about a year ago after a long illness. I'm in 10th grade, and I continue to get A's in school and have a lot of friends, but it has been really hard.
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Aunt lies, abuses, wants to stay in touch
January 21, 2010
Dear Amy: My aunt has struggled with alcoholism, depression, medical problems and financial problems, and is in the throes of a bitter divorce. She does not have any children, and when I was a young adult, she and I were close.
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Trash talking runs rampant in family
January 20, 2010
Dear Amy: My daughter-in-law is constantly telling me that I raised my son wrong. They have been together for 20 years and have two teenage children. My son has been the sole provider during this time. She believes that it is her place to stay home with the children. -
Minister should be kept from teen boys
January 19, 2010
Dear Amy: I have a close friend who lives in another state. My friend is married to a minister, "Bret," who is friends with another minister in another church. (I will call the second minister "Steve.") -
Bitter mom tries to turn son against dad
January 18, 2010
Dear Amy: Many years ago my father-in-law had an affair with one of his employees. My mother-in-law chose to forgive him and stay in the marriage.
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New employee harassed at office party
January 16, 2010
Dear Amy: I am a new employee at an office that is 99 percent male.
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Worried about mom; baby on the way
January 15, 2010
Dear Amy: I have been worried about my mother's mental health for some time now. I love her dearly, but I (and many others in my circle of family and friends) have suspected that something is wrong with her for many years.
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Caught in the middle as daughter, niece
January 14, 2010
Dear Amy: I am a 16-year-old girl. My mother and her sister, "Ruth," often have little skirmishes. My mother's side of the family is generally a dramatic bunch.
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He wants to win back his baby's mother
January 13, 2010
Dear Amy: I need help on how to win my son's mother back.
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Parents' monitoring is over the top
January 12, 2010
Dear Amy: I'm a 19-year-old college student. My parents still try to control me. When I'm home, they tell me when to go to bed and when to get up.
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Look at jeans from her point of view
January 11, 2010
Dear Amy: I have wonderful, loving husband who can be a tad controlling when it comes to doing things his way. Honestly, he would probably say the same about me.
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Tackle his clutter problem together
January 9, 2010
Dear Amy: I've been happily married for 32 years, but my husband has one bad habit that is driving me nuts.
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Keep old business from grandkid's ears
January 8, 2010
Dear Amy: More than 20 years ago, I divorced from my husband because of mental and physical abuse.
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If ex-husband doesn't leave, she should
January 7, 2010
Dear Amy: When my husband and I divorced more than two years ago, I gave him nine months to move out of my house. He's still here.
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In need of stimulating conversation
January 6, 2010
Dear Amy: Several times a year my wife and I have dinner with three other couples.
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Dating, but still rooming with her ex
January 5, 2010
Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I broke up seven months ago and are going our separate ways. Unfortunately, we are still living together as roommates while we try to sell our house.
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Husband asks directions for divorce
January 4, 2010
Dear Amy: Recently I reconnected with a woman I knew more than 25 years ago. We e-mailed, texted and spoke by phone.
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'The Road Less Traveled'
January 2, 2010
I often recommend self-help books in my advice column because I believe that when people want to change, they should seek every resource available to put their problem in perspective and figure out what to do next.
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Boss's creepy uncle is harassing manager
January 2, 2010
Dear Amy: I hold a management position with a great deal of responsibility at my small firm.
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Daughter plays; dad pays; mom peeved
January 1, 2010
Dear Amy: I am a divorced mother of an almost-25-year-old daughter.
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Facebook posting has relatives wondering
December 31, 2009
Dear Amy: Recently on Facebook I posted a nice note on the "walls" of my family members.
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Roommate won't stop doing the laundry
December 30, 2009
Dear Amy: This year, my two friends and I looked on Craigslist for a fourth roommate to share rent for the year at our house.
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Stop calling manager the 'secretary'
December 29, 2009
Dear Amy: I work for a lovely couple at a family-run educational nonprofit.
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She's engaged to a fearful grad student
December 28, 2009
Dear Amy: My fiance is a perpetual graduate student. He's been working on his master's degree for five years.
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Single sibling doesn't buy 2-for-1 deal
December 26, 2009
Dear Amy: When four siblings (two single, two married) agree to buy a gift for their parents and split the cost four ways, is it correct for the married siblings to assume their spouses will be included in the gift as well without the couples contributing more to the cost of the gift?
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Don't like that gift? It could be worse
December 25, 2009
Dear Readers: Scores of you have responded to my request for "worst gift" stories.
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Have a holly jolly ... Valentine's Day
December 24, 2009
Dear Amy: Every year my family exchange our gift lists, and every year I shop, wrap and ship our gifts in time for Christmas.
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Texting cute guy sounds like a 'hook-up'
December 23, 2009
Dear Amy: I'm a happily married woman. Last weekend I went shopping with a single girlfriend, "Diana," whose dating (mis)adventures have involved men who've turned out to be interested only in the proverbial "one thing."
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Keep family out of budding romance
December 22, 2009
Dear Amy: My daughter is coming to our house for the holidays, bringing her three small children. The dinner is at my mom and dad's house.
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Saying thank you for a luxury vacation
December 21, 2009
Dear Amy: Like many people these days, my husband and I have struggled financially.
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Nephew solicits bucks for baseball clinic
December 19, 2009
Dear Amy: My nephew sent me and a lot of other people an e-mail asking for money for a Christmas gift. He said he wants to raise money to attend a baseball coaching clinic and sent his request along with a link to the clinic's Web site so we could see what our money was purchasing.
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Arguments for, against holiday card to ex
December 18, 2009
Dear Amy: Almost a year ago, my boyfriend and I broke up. We adored each other and brought tremendous joy to each other's lives, but we also had serious trust and boundary issues and a broken, dysfunctional, unhappy relationship.
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Learn from big mistake, then move on
December 17, 2009
Dear Amy: I met "Steve," a 42-year-old man, on an Internet dating site. We had sex within two weeks of meeting, something I never do.
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Seeking a meaningful Christmas Eve
December 16, 2009
Dear Amy: For five years my partner and I have hosted Christmas Eve gatherings for his family. I like the way we make our home warm and festive.
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Unmarried elderly couple not welcome
December 15, 2009
Dear Amy: During the holiday season I am expecting two people from out of town to stop by and I know they will want to spend the night at my house.
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Confront ex-friend who lied about party
December 14, 2009
Dear Amy: I'm a 15-year-old girl.
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Mom takes cut-and-dried alcohol stand
December 13, 2009
Dear Amy: My mother has suddenly turned against drinking by anybody at any time, even though we are not from a family with a history of drinking issues.
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Will next cocktail send her over edge?
December 12, 2009
Dear Amy: My wife has been an alcoholic for 25 years.
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Ornaments would bring joy to her world
December 11, 2009
Dear Amy: My ex-husband and I divorced more than a year ago.
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Spread the word: Let the sharing begin
December 10, 2009
Dear Readers: Over the years, I have documented my fondness for tacky sweaters, dancing candy canes, bus stop nativity scenes, mechanical reindeer, any drink with "nog" in the name and all things Santa.
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Talk to toddler about definition of family
December 9, 2009
Dear Amy: I am a young woman and a single mom. My daughter is almost 3 years old and is starting to understand what a family is. She knows a "mama," a "dada" and a "baby" make a family.
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Response to rape victim was too harsh
December 8, 2009
Dear Amy: I am absolutely appalled at your answer to a recent letter from "Victim? In Virginia."
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Private world is open to public viewing
December 7, 2009
Dear Amy: My 10-year-old son attended a classmate's birthday party held in a public venue. Afterward, food was served at the birthday boy's home.
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Has the time come to 'friend' this old foe?
December 6, 2009
Dear Amy: What is the appropriate course of action to take when someone who tormented you daily in high school and over a couple of years of college asks to be your friend on Facebook?
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Girlfriend should see 'crock' for what it is
December 5, 2009
Dear Amy: My boyfriend of just over a year is going to be working out of state for a few months, and he said he wants us to take a break while he's gone.
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Presenting the best of the worst gifts
December 4, 2009
Dear Readers: Recently I called upon you to send in your "worst ever" gift stories in response to a letter about a Christmas gift gone wrong.
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Friends looking for love are out of sync
December 3, 2009
Dear Amy: A couple of years ago, my best friend confessed she had "those" kinds of feelings for me. Though I cherished her more than anyone, I wasn't ready for a romantic relationship with her.
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They need counseling, for crying out loud
December 2, 2009
Dear Amy: For the most part my fiancee is great, but she has started to become very negative toward me.
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Dealing with questions when boss is gone
December 1, 2009
Dear Amy: My boss is away from the office for surgery related to cancer. What is an appropriate response to people who ask where he is?
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Doctor hates weighty comments
November 30, 2009
Dear Amy: I am a 53-year-old physician, and my weight bounces up and down about 15 pounds. I am not happy about it, but I also do not want to hear about it from anyone. I see many people during my day who are, for the most part, strangers to me. I think it is extremely rude to comment on anyone's weight -- whether there is a weight gain or loss. I usually laugh it off, but it really upsets me. Ironically, these comments usually come from people who are grossly overweight.
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Gift idea for a thoughtless granddaughter
November 29, 2009
Dear Amy: Christmas is coming soon and along with it, a quandary for me.
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Woman shouldn't have to out gay friend
November 28, 2009
Dear Amy: I was recently involved in a community volunteer event that lasted a couple of months.
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Rape question a matter of consent
November 27, 2009
Dear Amy: I recently attended a frat party, got drunk and made some bad decisions.
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Facing family stress on Thanksgiving
November 26, 2009
Dear Amy: Well, it's Thanksgiving again, and I anticipate that our family's celebration will be the usual stressful event where one or two people dominate the conversation, at least one person has too much to drink, people fight over politics, someone leaves the room in anger, and the people who have prepared the meal are exhausted and angry.
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He hid lunch with female friend from wife
November 25, 2009
Dear Amy: I am a 41-year-old happily married woman with three children. I graduated from college 20 years ago, and I have remained in touch with a friend, "Jerry."
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He backs out over ban on gay marriage
November 24, 2009
Dear Amy: My fiance "Rob" and I are getting married. Our wedding party has three attendants on each side, with his brother "Ted" as best man.
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Divorced couple's closeness confuses kids
November 23, 2009
Dear Amy: I recently got divorced. My wife told me she had fallen out of love, and I agreed to leave.
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Have the talk, but at the right time
November 22, 2009
Dear Amy: My girlfriend wants to "talk" again. She is currently experiencing her monthly cycle.
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Distance between them is getting longer
November 21, 2009
Dear Amy: I have been in a long-distance relationship for more than three years now. We're students studying at different schools, and we see each other about once a month and during holidays.
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Friends' 'vacation' is doing nothing in bug-infested yard
July 29, 2009
The following is an excerpt from the July 29 Ask Amy column. See the full version here.
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Texting friend needs to get the message
July 24, 2009
Dear Amy: I have a good friend who is very nice, very thoughtful and very dependable. Whenever anyone needs to reach her, my friend is just one text message away. But that is just what seems to be the problem—she is always reachable and her phone is always there, ringing off the hook with text messages.
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'Open' relationships don't work unless both parties are happy with the arrangement
July 5, 2009
Dear Amy: For the past few years, I have been in a long-distance, long-term but "open" relationship.
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Wife excluded from party planning
June 23, 2009
Dear Amy: My husband and I have been married for almost two decades.
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Irish teen's friends try to mimic dialect
June 18, 2009
Dear Amy: Both of my parents are Irish immigrants, so I've been raised saying things like "me coat" and calling my mother "Mum."
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Parents out of money and patience
June 5, 2009
Dear Amy: Unbeknownst to us, our 23-year-old daughter ran up a large credit card debt in her last year of college, which she attended on an athletic scholarship.
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Phone ringing off hook for teen son
June 2, 2009
Dear Amy: My son "James" goes to a special school for kids with disabilities. He has a learning disability but is very nice looking, competitive in sports and, most of all, a very nice young man. That is how he was raised.
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Visiting elderly parents a tedious task
May 29, 2009
Dear Amy: My partner and I have a problem dealing with his elderly parents' lack of social skills.
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Wife's friendship swayed by business deal
May 25, 2009
Dear Amy: My husband and his business partner, "Greg," had a friendly parting of the ways a little more than a year ago. We live in a small community, so we see Greg and his wife, "Pat," fairly often.
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Not a mom, not 'happy' again on Mother's Day
May 17, 2009
Dear Amy: Another Mother's Day has come and gone and I still don't know how to deal with the "Happy Mother's Day" greeting I get when I go to a store.
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Tight budget no reason for couple to start food fight
May 10, 2009
Dear Amy: My husband and I have been married for six years.
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Fiance's shyness could be a disorder
May 8, 2009
Dear Amy: My fiance and I are shy people and we often just stay to ourselves. When I am around his family and friends, I leave my comfort zone and I appear warm, friendly and social even though I'm nervous. When he is around my family he is very quiet, answers questions with a "yes" or "no," and doesn't make eye contact.
