MTV
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Abbreviation for Music Television.
The best example of old media division by zero; also a favorite television channel of 13-year-old wiggers and emo fags who don't know what good music sounded like, having only ever heard stories about it from old people who were around to witness its existence. Those fortunate enough to be literate may even have read about it in books, although they probably don't watch MTV anyway, so that doesn't matter.
MTV is also the channel that promotes a communist agenda of stupidity by making spoiled dumbass sluts into popular celebrities such as Paris Hilton.
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MTV and the War on Acceptable Music
Since its inception no more than 99 years ago, MTV has attempted to systematically air shitty music and exterminate good music, and to date, they have been reasonably successful in this regard. A lot of people claim that the key to their victory was their outright refusal to have good music videos played on their channel, or even to acknowledge the existence of real music in any way (as evidenced by the various award shows they host every year).
Responsible for the successful careers of such shit bands and artists as 50 Cent, Good Charlotte, Blink 182, My Chemical Romance, Lil' Jon, Coldplay and James Blunt. Indeed, rumor has it that MTV's official policies require them to have one of the aforementioned on screen at all times. But obviously they should never actually play any of their songs. That would be severely damaging to their popularity.
MTV and the War on EVERYTHING ELSE
Seeing that real music had been sufficiently ass-raped, MTV decided to set their sights on other things, and using censorship have now pwned a considerable percentage of the things that exist, including:
- George W Bush
- Retards
- Cinema
- Grammar and the rest of the English language, by Ebonics brainwashing. Also, like, encouraging like, every teenager to, like, say the word "like" at like, every opportunity, like, ya know?
- Just about everything else except sex and money, endless Cribs re-runs and Spring Break specials being the only things left with a place on the channel.
The following additional charges have been leveled against MTV:
- A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila
- Date My Mom
- Next
- Room Raiders
- Damage Control
- Every other show on this channel
MTV and the War on Family Values
Pushing a culture-fucking agenda of tolerance, many MTV programs showcase lots and lots of slutty girls, softcore pr0n, the glorification of gangsta and thug life. Given that the average age of MTV viewers is 8 years, combined with an IQ that matches, MTV has caused a lot of IRL drama among stupid kids and their concerned mothers living in the suburbs. Often you find some parents group starting a campaign against MTV, however they end as abruptly as they begin. Although the stories of how MTV has destroyed families is a good source of lulz for the internets.
Interestingly enough, while MTV has a reputation among it's viewers as an "over-the-top", "edgy" network, they have in fact censored as much (if not more) of their content as most other cable networks.
MTV Jokes
People think they're e-funny by telling some form of the same joke: "A myth says that MTV used to play music." It's an old meme.
See Also
Relevant Links
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MTV is part of a series on Music |
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