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Re: So Many Themes, So Little Humor (LONG POST)-short reply
Khoa wrote:
Yeah, all a misunderstanding. I'm not advocating irresponsible behavior.
Perhaps I was a bit too eager myself in using hyperboles, but what I
meant
was that when you say that your identity is derived from a particular
group or community, you are disowning the freedom, responsibility, and
privilege that you have for making your "self." And by "victim
mentality," I meant to say that it is this act of disowning that leads to
an unfortunate dependency on others to construct your life, motivations,
what have you. If you begin by saying that "my identity--who I am--is
dependent on society," how long is it before you'll say "I did this bad
thing because society (the devil) made me do it"? I'm a great believer
in
the concept that everyone creates themselves...I hope I've made that
clearer...
-khoa (who never seems able to keep his opinions to himself, damn it)
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Khoa, I understand your point on the importance of being individualistic.
It is what each of us are after all - each is unique in his/her DNA
makeup ('cept when they start cloning us) - so right off the bat, you are
unique when you're born. It's probably what we strive for: to be an
individual, with his/her own identity, and independent from norms,
stereotypes, etc. But like it or not, part of your identity is that you
like guys and thus you are linked (no matter how thin a thread it is) to
the gay community. From your name, I can further draw that you are
Vietnamese and male -- more parts of your indentiy. Being gay, male, and
Vietnamese are parts of your indentity that you cannot change (Pete) no
matter how you "think and feel and know, from (your) hopes and
experiences and disappointments, needs and wants and fears... " Your
identity consist of such things as (but not wholly) your character,
goals, and origins. Maybe you thought I meant that your identity is
*totally* dependent on a specific community? Alright, 'nuf said.
My biggest concern is that there's a lack of positive gay role models.
Sure, why not? I've had plenty of straight role models and now I want to
see more gay ones --- why can't I have both?
When my friend or family member asks me why I am gay, I would respond,
"If I had a choice between being gay and straight, then do you think I
would choose to be gay?" Using a sports analogy, it's similar to why a
football player would rather play for the 49ers than the Jets (sorry Jets
fans). Me, I want to be part of something positive and from my
experience, I don't think that the gay lifestyle offers that. There is
no sense of community, continuity, or longevity (I'm sure some of you
will quote this and try to prove me wrong but this is my perception).
For this very reason, I want to see more positive gay role models. To
me, words are cheap; it's what I experience or witness that counts. I'll
be the first to admit that I am DESPERATE --- desperate to make the gay
community a more positive one for each and every one of us. Where do we
start?
DaveBui
"Khen ai khe'o ddu'c chuo^ng chi`, da.ng thi` co' da.ng dda'nh thi`
kho^ng ke^u."
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