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[NQV] SF visit: 8/31/96 (12)


Saturday 8/31/96

(continued)

The general discussion proved to be quite animated and stimulating,
even though there seemed to be a regrettable (as much as it was
misleading and misguided) polarization of the debate between the
older and younger groups (the middling one remained rather faceless
and lame, alas).  Here's a quick summary of the points of discussion
as I've recorded in my notes (which got spotty at times when I myself
got drawn into the discussion, esp. toward the end of the session).

- younger people feeling "no sense of belonging": moving out of
existing circles of support and not yet finding new ones
- older people feeling that "grass is NOT greener on the other
side" after they have sobered up and became more realistic and
accepting of their situations
- generational clash/conflict between older people wanting to
serve as role models and younger people trying to find their own
way in life
- older people felt pushed back/out by the gay emphasis on youth
and beauty
- withdrawal symptom on the part of older people: weary attitude,
selectivity in their socialization and activities
- historical circumstances making it harder for older people to
be out and visible in the past
- younger people feeling a resentment of parental figure
- "let the young experience their own growth": older people just
stay to the side and don't impose their values on the young, but 
still be there for them when needed
- don't simplify categories by pigeonholing: there's much variation
in experiences, values, beliefs among and across age groups
- we are a first generation of Queer Viets: experience and attitude
of pioneers; it's often difficult to find role models for support
- not a matter of ageism or generational conflict, but one of correct
attitude: facing the collapse of authority figures, younger people
are skeptical but not always dismissive of new sources of support
and authority as long as it's sensitive and nurturing rather than
paternalistic/patronizing; older people tend to commit the faux-pas
of "smothering care" which can often bring about backlash
- a matter of sensitivity: we must try to recognize differences (in
experience, thinking, values, actions) in order to bridge them and
work together rather than to become divisive across generations: we
all need/want support, but too often misapplied support can be easily
mistaken for oppression
- question of consistency/credibility: if you want to be taken
seriously you have to act worthy of being taken seriously
- sometimes there's much to learn from younger people: older is NOT
always wiser
- desirabilty of a buddy system of support
- need to share experience and open up channels for dialogues

By the time the workshop ended other the people nextdoor had already
left the video-showing session and were taking off or milling around
in the hallway.  The scheduled closing remarks and evaluation session
were apparently scrapped since the workshops were running behind and
overtime, and so the conference adjourned at a little after 4:30 PM. 
The lack of closure somehow left the whole experience dangling, but
it could also help to keep the issues alive for further thinking and
exchange.  In terms of organization, however, there should be some
effort at following up on what has been started at the conference
rather than leaving it as a once-a-year start-and-stop kind of event
where people come together for a day, talk, go home and that's it.
On the whole I feel that the conference was a success, though surely
there could always be improvements on many of its components, but
the important thing was it did take place and could bring together
many people to share experience and ideas about sexual and (not so
much) ethnic identities.  Indeed, it couldn't and didn't produce the
last word on these momentous issues, but it's the start of a dialogue
which has greater values in raising questions than providing answers,
and in that sense it's as good a start as anyone can hope for.  And
I for one was grateful for the chance to attend and report on it.
I'm sure that organizers from the various local queer Viet groups
(like GVA in So Cal, and QAVA in No Cal) will have a chance to sit
down and take stock of  what transpired at this conference as part
of their continuing community-building effort.  But not everyone
will have that kind of opportunity (even to attend the conference,
never mind taking stock of it), and so I hope that this rambling
report of mine will help inform others of the general substance
of this event (as seen from one individual's perspective -- since
I couldn't possible attend and report on all the workshops on that
day, my report is by no means a comprehensive and complete account
of what was goign on, but even if incomplete, it's still better
than nothing!), and to extend this exchange to beyond the limited
physical confines of the conference itself.

(to be continued)


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