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Gay Asian American Pride
By Edward Kai Chiu, 19
Posted in March, 2001
Growing up gay and Asian-American is no easy task. I am a minority within a minority. In ancient China, homosexuality was somewhat accepted. Some men of the nobility were known to have had gay relationships sometimes committing themselves in official public ceremonies that made them the closest thing to a married couple, but were instead called "dry brothers." Also, gay poets were free to write about their sexuality in their works and still be accepted by scholars.
In contrast, modern Chinese society vehemently rejects homosexuality. They consider it an enemy of Confucianism, which is the set of doctrines that dictates roles between family members and reverence for ancestors. Paramount to Confucian life is the continuation of the family name - getting married and having male children. It is believed that if the male children (especially the eldest sons) do not produce male offspring and the family name is not passed on, the ancestors will be forgotten and suffer a horrible afterlife. The import of Christianity into Asia was also significant in the change of attitude.
For this reason, practically all my gay Asian and Asian-American friends could not even begin to fathom the idea of coming out. They have a reasonable fear of rejection. In the popularly acclaimed movie, The Wedding Banquet directed by Ang Lee, the main character, a Chinese man living in New York, comes out to his parents and he and his boyfriend are accepted by them. As wonderful as the "happily ever after" ending may seem, most Asians know that the scenario is very unrealistic.
In the other part of my life, the gay community, I feel excluded. When I open a gay magazine such as OUT or The Advocate, or watch gay news shows such as "In the Life," all I see depicted are gay white men. I honestly can not relate to them; they grew up in a different culture. I feel the same way when I visit the large gay bookstore, A Different Light. Except for a few anthologies about people of color, I never see any books specifically addressing the issues of queer Asians. If I didn't live in West Hollywood and was exposed to other gay Asians, I would even question if gay Asians even existed. I feel alienated and alone -- I am gay, but I am not represented. Obviously, the voices and faces of my gay Asian brothers are deliberately being ignored.
In the straight American culture today, Asians are often depicted as "oversexed," "erotic," and "exotic" perverts. Take, for example, the movie Rising Sun. The Japanese businessmen are depicted as having sex palaces filled with women that serve as high class prostitutes. Another false image is that of the "China Doll" -- a submissive, self-effacing slut that is willing to go with any white man and die for him. Just look at Miss Saigon and Madame Butterfly. It's no coincidence that the story line is always the same -- poor Asian girl meets white soldier, white guy gives money to support girl, she satisfies his sexual desire, the white guy gives her no respect and the girl kills herself.
From my experience in the gay community, I have noticed a similar degradation or "fetish-ization" of young Asian males. In fact, there are social groups where the goal is to "hook up" Asians and non-Asians. While some people may argue that preferring men of a particular race is no different from preferring a certain hair color, that is not valid if the relationship is based on a stereotype. Based on my personal experience and talking to friends, I have found that most "Asian admirers" (or "Rice Queens" as they are known in the community) are always older than their Asian "boyfriends." What is wrong with older men getting together with younger men? There is an inherent power inequality. How much could they have in common for it to be anything but physical?
While perusing the gay bookstore, I noticed a porn magazine with only Asian male models. However, unlike Caucasian porn magazines, these Asian men obviously appeared to be in their teens with very effeminate bodies. In contrast, most white guys in porn have muscular men. Though some may argue that this is a very trivial detail, one must ask why the difference is consistent each and every time. It is evident that the negative stereotype of the "delicate, submissive slut" is being carried over from the straight "China Doll" model into the gay community.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that all interracial relationships are based on stereotypes. People should love each other for who they are. What I am saying is that when one person expects his partner to play a racist, stereotypical role ("China Doll"), the partner is putting himself at high risk for getting hurt. That is not love, it is disguised racism.
Being gay and Asian in America is like fighting a two front battle. One not only has to fight racism and homophobia of society in general, but also stereotypes and lack of representation in the gay community. With more awareness of gay Asian issues, and more Asians become involved, I have confidence that there will be victory.
