[From Phillipe to
Mary]
DEAR MADAM,
I WILL TRY ALL POSSIBLE MEANS TODAY TO MAKE SURE THAT I SNAP MY
OWN PERSONAL PICTURE FIRST WITH THE PASSWORD "UP THE ARSE" FOR HIM TO SEE
ME AND COME BACK TO HIS NORMAL LIFE AGAIN AFTER THAT I WILL GO TO THE PLACE THERE ARE TRAINING THE WOLF TO TAKE PICTURE WITH THE WOLF. BUT
TELL HIM TO COME BACK TO THE HOUSE,
THANKS
PHILLIPE
NB .MAKE SURE THAT YOU DIDN'T GIVE ANYBODY MY CONTACT PLEASE TO SAFE MY LIFE.
[OK! WE'LL ONLY PUBLISH IT ON THE
INTERNET!]
[From Phillipe to
monty]
DEAR MONTY,
THIS IS MY PICTURE, I WANT YOU TO HAVE A LOOK AT IT AND SEE HOW
HANDSOME I AM, PLEASE I WANT YOU TO BE OK AS SOON AS YOU SEE THIS MY PICTURE,I WILL
GET BACK TO YOU LATER OK. NOW I AM GOING TO THE PLACE WHERE THERE ARE TRAINING THE WOLF, WHEN I GO THERE I WILL GET BACK TO YOU
MONTY PLEASE I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU THAT YOU ARE OK.
THANKS
YOUR BELOVED FRIEND
PHILLIPE
"UP THE ARSE"
[Phillipe
includes this forgery which won't do..]
[From Phillipe to
Monty, Phillipe is not very bright and he continues to send mail to Monty
even though Monty is in a padded cell somewhere.]
DEAR MONTY,
I HOPE THAT EVERYTHING IS OK.NOW. IHAVE SEND MY PICTURE TO YOU AND I
HOPE YOU HAVE SEEN ME HOLDING THE PASSWORD "UP THE ARSE"YOU HAVE ALSO SEEN MY BEADY EYE AND MY MOUSTACHE BECAUSE I TOLD YOU THAT I AM AHANDSOME
YOUNG MAN LIKE YOU.
IF YOU ARE SURE THAT YOU LOVE ME AS ILOVE YOU, I WANT YOU TO COME BACK TO YOUR NORMAL LIFE.
PLEASE MONTY DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE WOLF'(SHAGGY), I WILL REPLACE IT NFOR YOU WITH A VERY BEAUTIFUL ONE. I WENT TO THE PLACE THERE ARE TRAINING
THE WOLF, I MEET THE OWNER HE TOLD ME THAT HE DOES NOT ALLOW SOMEBODY TO SNAP A PICTURE WITH THE WOLF, THAT UNLESS THE PERSON WANT TO BUY IT.
I WANT YOU TO COME SO THAT WE WILL BUY IT AND REPLACE SHAGGY. THE ONE I SAW IS VERY VERY BEAUTIFUL.
SO WHEN WILL YOU BE COMING , LET ME KNOW.
I WILL BE GOING TO THE COMPANY TODAY TO SEE THE DIRECTOR. AS SOON AS YOU RECIEVE THIS MY LETTER, TRY TO GET BACK TO ME TODAY.
THANKS
PHILLIPE
"UP THE ARSE"
NB/TRY TO BE OK. BECAUSE ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL SHAGGY HAS BEE FOUND. PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO BE IN GHANA THIS DECEMBER, I WANT TO BE WITH TYOU IN
ENGLAND. SO WHEN WILL YOU BE COMING LET ME KNOW.
[Phillipe
loves Monty? Hohohoho! This will be fun and by now we're sure that
Phillipe knows Monty is gay.]
[After
getting no reply from Monty he tries Mary again!]
[From Phillipe to
Mary]
DEAR MADAM,
I HOPE THAT MY BELOVED FRIEND MONTY IS BACK AT HOME, PLEASE LET KNOW.
AS I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY THAT I WILL SNAP PICTURE TODAY, I HAVE SEND IT
TO HIM. IF HE IS NOT BACK AT HOME TRY TO TELL HIM THAT I HAVE SEND THE
PICTURE WITH THE PASSWORD "UP THE ARSE" AS HE TOLD ME TO DO, I HAVE
DONE IT FOR HIM TO COME BACK TO HIS NORMAL LIFE. LET HIM SEE MY BEADY EYES
AND MOUSTACHE BECAUSE I TOLD HIM THAT I AM A HANDSOME-MAN LIKE HIM. I AM SURE AFTER HE SEE THIS MY PICTURE THE ARRANGEMENT WILL BE MADE FOR
HIS COMING.
LET ME HEAR FROM YOU
THANKS
PHILLIPE
NB/PLEASE MADAM MONTY'S HEALTH HAS CAUSE ME HEART PROBLEM, AND BESIDE I DON'T HAVE MONEY TO TAKE MYSELF TO THE HOSPITAL.PLEASE IF YOU CAN HELP
ME WITH ANY LITTLE AMOUNT I WILL BE HAPPY SO THAT I WILL USE IT TO TREAT MYSELF IN THE HOSPITAL. BUT MADAM DON'T LET MY FRIEND MONTY TO KNOW
ABOUT MY HEALTH PROBLEM BECAUSE IF HE KNOW I DON'T KOWN WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO HIM AGAIN.
BUT I PRAY GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF MY LIFE .IF YOU WANT TO SEND THE
MONEY, SEND IT THROUGH MY NAME PHILLIPE MATHINS.
AND CONTACT ME AFTER THAT .
[Shows how
caring he is, the little stoat is begging for money from Mary. He will
regret blaming his heart problem on Monty later.]
[From Phillipe to
Mary]
MADAM,
HOW IS MY FRIEND MONTY I WANT TO KNOW HIS CONDITION HAVE YOU
DELIVER MY MESSAGE TO HIM.
TRY TO GIVE ME INFORMATION ABOUT HIS CODITION FROM YOU SOON.
THANKS
PHILLIPE
[We feel
that we've let him stew in his own juices for long enough now so we'll
give him another kick at the can. The vengence for the ill health blame
will come later in Mary's fiercest ever email to a scammer yet!]
[From Mary to
Phillipe]
My Dear Phillipe,
My dear I know that things are difficult for you being in a refugee camp but I fear that I cannot send that picture to Monty, I deleted it out of his account as a precaution, you see Philipe the picture is obviously a fake.
I have not told Monty, Monty is in a terrible state at the moment and I was with him all day yesterday but he tried to kill himself this morning because he hadn't had the picture from you.
Please Phillipe, please I know you probably put something together quickly to save Montys life but try to understand that Monty is a trained photographer and he would spot a false image within seconds so I dare not show him the picture you sent.
My dear if you can provide the image with :
"MY DEAR MONTY!"
"I LOVE YOU UP THE ARSE"
Then I will immediately send you £10,000 via Western Union as a way of saying thank you.
Please my dear this is vitally important, Monty tried to cut his wrists on his straight jacket buckle today and he is currently under heavy sedation.
Please my dear I beg you to send me your real photograph and then I will send you the money.
I promise in the name of the lord.
God bless you Phillipe and please get this done straightaway.
Reverend Mary Hinge.
[From
Phillipe to Monty;]
DEAR MONTY,
WHERE ARE YOU NOW. HAVE YOU COME BACK TO THE HOUSE.
I AM VERY HAPPY BECAUSE OUR TEAM ARSENL HAS WIN THE MATCH
YESTERDAY, SO I WANT YOU TO BE WELL . AND I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY TOO.
HAVE YOU SEEN THE PIDURE I SEND TO YOU. PLEASE TELL ME SOMETHING
ABOUT THE PICTURE .
"UP THE ARSE"
THANKS
PHILLIPE
[Time to
motivate this muppet!]
[From Mary to
Phillipe]
Dear Phillipe,
Did you get my last email?
Monty is nearly dead, he tried to cut his wrists on his straight jacket belt buckle.
Listen to me carefully please I need that photograph but please make sure it is a proper one, Monty will detect a forgery, he's a trained photographer.
Please I beg you Phillipe, he has become fixated on you and you are his only hope.
Send the photo soon and I'll send you £10,000
God bless you,
Mary Hinge
[And Again;]
[From Mary to
Phillipe]
My dear Phillipe,
Please I beg you to send the picture as soon as you can, our friend Monty is not good, he started banging his head against the wall last night and he kept saying "I love you!!" "I love you!!" "True Love!!" "Up The Arse!!", we had to sedate him again, he has broken his own nose and his face is covered in bruises.
Phillipe I beg you to send me this picture today, I know you will.
I am praying for this and god will reward you because god is great and god is love.
I pray to almighty god that we get this picture today and Monty will be back to his usual self again, please my dear.
With love,
Reverend Mary Hinge
[At last we
get what we've been waiting for! And what a picture it is!]
[From
Phillipe to Monty]
DEAR MONTY,
I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING YOU ASK ME TO DO SO TRY TO RECOVER VERY
QUIEK. YOU KNOW MY CONDITION HERE IN GHANA IS VERY BAD THIS YOUR SICKNESS
HAVE CAUSE ME GREAT PROBLEM. PLEASE TRY TO COME BACK TO YOUR NORMAL LIFE.
I WANT TO HEAR GOOD NEWS FROM YOU.
THANKS
PHILLIPE "UP THE ARSE"
[Ladies
and Gentlemen, a gay scammer;]
[The more
observant among you will realise that he is wearing an arsenal shirt and
10/10 for effort for Phillipe, he's made a FLAG! hahaha! We've GOT to make
him wave that at the airport later I think!]
[From Phillipe to
Mary]
DEAR MADAM,
SORRY THAT I NEVER REPLY YOU SINCE YESTERDAY.AS I TOLD YOU, I
AM VERY SICK THAT WAS WHY I NEVER CONTACT YOU. THIS IS THE PICTURE YOU SAID THAT I SHOULD SEND AGAIN .PLEASE TRY TO TELL MY FRIEND MONTY
THAT I HAVE SEND THE PICTURE, SO THAT HE WILL COME BACK TO HIS NORMAL LIFE.
I AM DOING ALL THIS THING TO SAFE MY FREND'S LIFE .
PLEASE MADAM , AS I TOLD YOU, MY FRIEND MONTY'S HEAITH HAS CAUSED ME HEART
PROBIEM, PLEASE TRY TO FULLFIL YOUR PROMISE SO THAT I CAN BE ABLE TO RUSH MYSELF TO THE HOSPITAL FOR TREATMENT.
THANKS MAY OUR ALLMIGHTY GOD BLESS YOU FOR TAKING CARE OF MY FRIEND.
PHILLIPE
[Phillipe,
you are a worm.]
[From Phillipe to
Mary]
I HAVE SEND THE PICTURE TO MY FRIEND,I DIDN'T KNOW THAT HE DID NOT SEE
IT . PLEASE SHOW THE PICTUER TO HIM SO THAT HE WILL COMEBAOK TO HIS
NORMAL LIFE.
PLEASE MADAM AS I TOLD YOU,I AM VERY SICK I DON'T HAVE MONEY TO RUSH
MY SELF TO THE HOSPITAL ,PLEASE TRY TO SEND THE MONEY AS YOU PROMISE SO
THAT I CAN BE ABLE TO GO TO HOSPITAL .
PLEASE I AM WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU .
THANKS GOD BLESS YOU
PHILLIPE
[He attaches
a copy of the flag picture]
[Let's
give the idiot some good news...]
[From Mary to phillipe]
Oh my dear Phillipe,
thank you from the bottom of my posterior for sending the photograph, I took it immediately to the secure wing at the psychiatric hospital and our friend was in a corner sticking crayons and felt tipped pens into his arms, he immediately brightened up when I shoed him your picture.
Phillipe, he exclaimed "BEADY EYES!" Then he sat up and shouted "I LOVE YOU PHILLIPE", we are hoping he will be home on the weekend and as soon as he is home he can authorize the payment for you.
Phillipe I am truely indebted to you, Monty was talking about Shaggy again but I think he is starting to come to terms with it now and it is thanks to you my dear, thank you ever so much.
Please keep in touch and I'll send you the cash as soon as Monty is well enough to sign the release forms.
God bless you my dear,
Rev. Mary
[From Phillipe to
Monty]
DEAR MONTY,
I HAVE BEEN SENDING A LOT OF LETTERS TO YOU. PLEASE LET ME HEAR
FROM YOU.
THANKS
PHILLIPE
"UP THE ARSE"
[From Phillipe to
Mary]
DEAR MADAM,
THANK YOU FOR YOUR EMAIL, I AM VERY HAPPY THAT MY FRIEND MONTY IS OK, TRY AND TELL HIM THAT I WANT TO HEAR FROM HIM. PLEASE MADAM I WANT THAT
PICTURE TO BE SECURED BECAUSE THE REBEELS LOCATE MY LATE FATHER THROUGH PICTURE AND THEY COME AND KILL ALL MY FAMILIES I SEND THE PICTURE TO YOU WITH TRUST AND TO SAFE MY BELOVED FRIEND
MONTY. PLEASE MADAM AS I TOLD YOU, I AM VERY VERY SICK. AND NOBODY IS TO HELP ME ,THE SMALL MONEY I WAS MANAGING TO BUY MEDICINE AND FOOD HAS
FINISHED. PLEASE I NEED YOUR HEIP. TRY LET ME HEAR FROM YOU SOON. MAY GOD BLESS YOU FOR TAKING CARE OF MY FRIEND OVER THERE.
THANKS
PHILLIPE
[Can't say
we blame him there, that picture would probably put him in prison in Ghana
where Sodomy is illegal! Don't worry Phillipe we'll only publish it on the
internet for everyone, hell we may even get it printed on mouse mats and
sell it in the future!!!]
[Let's make
him do something even more outrageous;]
[From Mary to
Phillipe]
Dear Phillipe,
Thank you ever so much for you mail, please do not worry your picture is in safe hands and I would never dream of showing it to anybody other than your beloved Monty.
Monty is still in a fragile state of mind but he is coming home from hospital tomorrow, he was remeniscing to me today about the times that he buggered you when he was in Ghana, I don't remember Monty going to Ghana so I cannot be sure if this is just more innane rambling from a bewildered millionaire homosexual but we both share one thing Phillipe, we both love our dear Monty.
I really hope that he will be well enough to email you tomorrow, I think it was your picture that did the trick, your beady eyes are so malevolent and it must be what brought him out of his catatonic state!
It's funny, I wheeled him out into the rest room of the mental hospital earlier on to watch the television and every time a handsome man with beady eyes came on the tv he kept shouting "UP THE ARSE!!!" "I LOVE YOU PHILLIPE!" Of course he couldn't point at the television because he is still wearing his straight jacket.
Anyway, the last point of the letter is owing to the fact that you are hungry and ill, I'd really love to send you the £10,000 but you first need to write a letter of authority.
[Text removed, you'll see it later :-) ]
Please send the letter today my dear, god bless you,
Mary.
[From Phillipe to
Mary]
DEAR MADAM,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR EFFORT.PLEASE I WILL BE WAITING TO
HEAR FROM YOU TODAY. I KNOW THAT YOU WILL NEVER DISAPPOINT ME, BECAUSE I
AM VERY VERY SICK.
TELL MY FRIEND MONTY TO WRITTE ME MAIL WHENEVER HE COME BACK FROM
HOSPITAL.
MAY GOD BLESS YOU
YOURS
PHILLIPE
[Here it
is!!! Hahahahahahahah!]
[Amazingly
the cream crackers mentioned in this letter will be mentioned again later
on in the bait by Phillipe, but that letter is great eh?]
[Time
to give Phillipe back to Monty now...]
[From Mary To Phillipe]
Dear Phillipe,
I am sorry to hear that you are very, very sick. I will pray for you.
The letter is just what I wanted, thank you for writing it out, I can take it to the bank on Monday.
The good news is that I think you will hear from Monty today, your photograph has made him well enough to come out of the mental hospital.
He is on heavy medication though and I should warn you that if he sounds strange to you it is the tablets and his insanity but rest assured that he loves you in a deep and manly way so please do not be upset if his emails are different to normal.
Anyway, god bless you my friend,
Rev Mary
[From Monty to
Phillipe... Monty pops the question so to speak and lets Phillipe know he
is gay.]
DREAREST PHLIPPLE
I AM SO HAPPY TO BE ABLE TO WRITE TO YOU AGAIN. I HAVE BEEN LET OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND HAVE JUST READ ALL OF THE LOVELY MAILS YOU HAVE BEEN SENDING ME.
IN THE HOSPITAL THEY MADE ME DO MY BUSINESS IN A BUCKET AND WOULDN'T LET ME KEEP IT.
YOUR PICTURE MEANT THE WORLD TO ME PHLIPPLE. I AM LOOKING AT IT NOW AND WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I WILL NEVER EVER LET YOUR IMAGE ESCAPE MY MIND. YOU ARE A VERY GOOD LOOKING MAN AND I LOVE YOUR BEADY LITTLE EYES AND YOUR VACCUOUS GRIN.
YOUR SIGN WAS GREAT. I LOVE YOU TO.
I WANT TO ASK YOU A QUESTION. I AM A HOMOSEXUAL AND WAS WONDERING IF YOU ARE TOO? I HAVE NEVER FELT LOVE FOR A MAN THE WAY I HAVE FELT FOR YOU AND WOULD LIKE YOU TO BECOME MY BOYFRIEND.
ITS ALL YOU HAVE TO DO. DO THE SHAKE AND VAC AND PUT THE FRESHNESS BACK. DO THE SHAKE AND VAC AND PUSH THE FRESHNESS BACK. IF YOUR CARPET SMELLS FRESH, YOUR ROOM DOES TOO. EVERYTIME YOU VACUUM REMEMBER WHAT TO DO.
I REALLY MISS MY SHAGGY. I USED TO LOVE STROKING AND PLAYING WITH HER. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE WOLF YOU HAVE FOR ME. MARY SAID IT IS A LOVELY WOLF.
WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE PHILLIPE? PLEASE DESCRIBE THE WOLF TO ME AS SOON AS YOU CAN.
THE BUILDING WORK AT MY HOUSE HAS GONE ON WELL WHILE I'VE BEEN AWAY. NJJJIIIIITTT. YOU WILL HAVE YOUR OWN FOUR BEDROOMS AND I CANT WAIT FOR YOU TO SEE THEM.
I AM GOING TO PAINT THEM NICELY FOR YOU.
I HAVE HAD YOUR PICTURE PUT ONTO THE FRONT OF MY WHEELCHAIR SO I CAN TAKE IT EVERY WHERE WITH ME TO SHOW PEOPLE HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE.
MARY HAS TOLD ME THAT YOU WILL BE HAVING £10,000 FROM ME AS A GIFT. THAT MAKES ME HAPPY. I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY MY DARLING. I WILL MAKE SURE THAT MARY GOES TO THE BANK ON MONDAY TO GET YOU THE MONEY.
I LONG TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON MY PHLIIPLE
I LOVE YOU
UP THE ARSE
MONTY -X-
[Phillipe
agrees to let monty do things to him but doesn't disclose his sexual
orientation;]
[From Phillipe to
Monty]
DEAR MONTY,
THANK YOU FOR YOUR EMAIL, WELL I AM VERY HAPPY THAT YOU HAVE COME OUT FROM THE HOSPITAL. I HAVE HEARD ALL WHAT YOU YOU SAID. THANK YOU FOR
LOVING ME AND I LOVE YOU TOO WITH ALL MY HEART, AND I WILL DO WHATEVER YOU
REQUEST FROM ME I WILL ASLO BE VERY HAPPY TO LIVE WITH YOU IN ENGLAN WHEN MY PROBLEM IS SOLVED OUT.
MY DEAR MONTY, AS YOU SAID THAT MARY WILL BE GOING TO THE BANK
TOMORROW, PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT THE MONEY IS SENT THE PICTURE TO YOU BECAUSE
OF THE LOVE I HAVE WITH WITH YOU. I WANT THE PICTURE TO BE SECURED BECAUSE THE THE REBBLS WHO KILLED MY FATHER LOCATE HIM THROUGH HIS PICTURE.
PLEASE AS SOON AS YOU SEND THE MONEY TOMORROW CONTACT WITH THE
INFORMATION.
LET ME HEAR FROM YOU SOON
YOURS DEAREST PHILLIPE
"I LOVE YOU"
"UP THE ARSE"
[He's REALLY
paranoid about that picture isn't he?]
[From Phillipe to
Mary]
DEAR MARY,
SORRY THAT I DIDN'T CONTACT YOU SINCE YESTERDAY, IT IS BECAUSE OF
THE PROBLEM I TOLD YOU THAT I HAVE .MY FRIEND MONTY HAS CONTACT ME. I AM VERY HAPPY THAT HE HAS COME OUT
FROM THE HOSPITAL. MAY GOD BLESS YOU FOR ALL YOUR EFFORT TO MAKE SURE THAT MY FRIEND COME TO HIS NORMAL LIFE AGAIN.
PLEASE MARY MY FRIEND MONTY TOLD ME THAT HE WILL SEND YOU TO THE BANK TOMORROW FOR THE MONEY. PLEASE TRY TO MAKE SURE THAT THE MONEY IS SEND
BE CAUSE I TOLD YOU MY CONDITION, IMMEDIATELY YOU SEND IT TRY TO GIVE
ME THE INFORMATION.
LET ME HEAR FROM YOU SOON
THANKS
PHILLIPE
[Yep, he was
begging again...]
[Monty asks
Phillipe for a hand drawn picture!!! And also asks him again if he is a
homosexual, there can be no doubt, Phillipe DEFINATELY knows that he is
being propositioned and we don't give a fuck what anyone else says, we are
sure that this is the first time that a scammer has been turned gay by his
victim! haha!]
[From Monty to
Phillipe]
DREAR PHLIPPLIE
THANK YOU FOR MAILING ME. I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO KEEP YOU A SECRET SO I HAVE TAKEN YOUR PICTURE OFF MY WHEEL CHAIR AND HAVE EATEN IT.
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT THE WOLF YOU HAVE GOT FOR ME. WHAT IS IT LIKE? PLEASE TELL ME.
CAN YOU SEND ME A PICTURE OF YOURSELF HOLDING IT, OR IF NOT, PLEASE DRAW A PICTURE OF THE WOLF AND E-MAIL IT TO ME. I WILL BE VERY UNHAPPY IF I DON'T GET THIS AS I MISS MY POOR SHAGGY
THIS WILL KEEP ME SANE.
THERE'S A VOICE, KEEPS ON CALLING ME. DOWN THE ROAD IS WHERE I WANNA BE. EVERY STOP I MAKE, I MAKE A NEW FRIEND, CAN'T STAY FOR LONG, JUST TURN AROUND AND I'M OFF AGAIN. MAYBE TOMORROW I'LL WANNA SETTLE DOWN, UNTIL TOMORROW I'LL JUST KEEP MOVING ON.
MARY HAS SAID THAT SHE WILL GO TO THE BANK AT NINE O'CLOCK TOMORROW MORNING TO GET YOUR MONEY AND WILL SEND IT TO YOU AS SOON AS SHE CAN.
I LONG TO BE WITH YOU. MY LOVE FOR YOU WILL SHINE LIKE A BEACON.
UP THE ARSE
MONTY -X-
P.S. ARE YOU A HOMOSEXUAL?
[Well
Phillipe, come on... Are you?]
[From Phillipe to
Monty]
DEAR MONTY,
GOODMORNING, I GOT YOUR LETTER THIS MORNING. WELL FOR WHAT YOU ASK ME, AS LONG AS YOU HAVE DECIDED TO HELP ME OUT FROM MY SUFFERING, I
WAS NOT A HOMOSEXUAL BUT BECAUSE OF THE LOVE I HAVE FOR YOU I WILL DO ANYTHING YOU TELL ME TO DO WHEN I COME TO STAY WITH YOU IN ENGLAND.
BESIDE I AM ALSO VERY HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOU ARE BUILDING A HOUSE
FOR ME IN ENGLAND. I WILL BE GOING TO THE SECURITY COMPANY TODAY, THEN TOMORROW I WILL TRAVEL TO THE PLACE THERE ARE TRAINIMG THE WOLF ,
BECAUSE IT IS A LITTLE FAR DISTANT AWAY FROM OUR CAMP .
DARLING MONTY, YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH, PLEASE TRY TO
HOLD YOURSELF UNTIL I COMEDOWN TO ENGLAND.
AS YOU SAID THAT MARY WILL SEND THE MONEY THIS MORNING, PLEASE WHEN SHE SEND IT TRY TO CONTACT ME AND GIVE ME THE INFORMACTION.
I AM EXPECTING TO HEAR FROM YOU
THANKS
YOURS LOVING
PHILLIPE.
"UP THE ARSE"
[We like to
think of Phillipe's stomach twisting in knots as he wrote that!]
[From Phillipe to
Mary]
DEAR MARY,
GOODMORNING, PLEASE I AM STILL WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU, MY
FRIEND MONTY TOLD ME THAT HE WILL MAKE SURE THAT YOU GO TO THE BANK THIS
MORNING.
PLEASE TRY YOUR BEST BECAUSE I HAVE ALREADY EXPLAIN MY
CONDITION TO YOU.
LET ME HEAR FROM YOU SOON
THANKS MAY GOD BLESS YOU
YOURS
PHILLIPE
[Another
begging letter eh?]
[From Phillipe to
Monty]
DEAR MONTY,
PLEASE I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON I HAVE CHECK MY EMAIL YOU
DIDN'T SEND ANY LETTER TO ME WHY? I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU.
MY DARLING PLEASE LET ME HEAR FROM YOU.
AS SOON AS YOU RECIEVE THIS MAIL PLEASE TRY TO CONTACT ME.
YOURS LOVING
PHILLIPE
"UP THE ARSE"
[Monty
asks for the hand drawn picture again!]
[From Monty To Phillipe]
DEAREST PHLIPPLE,
I AM SORRY THAT I DID NOT WRITE EARLIER. I AM VERY UPSET TODAY BECAUSE IT WAS SHAGGY'S BIRTHDAY. SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN 3 TODAY IF YOU HAD NOT KILLED HER.
I AM VERY SAD AND HAVE NOT TAKEN MY TABLETS.
PHLLIPLE, I ASKED YOU TO SEND ME A DRAWING YOU HAVE DONE OF A GARDEN WOLF. WHEN I WAS LOCKED IN THE HOSPITAL YOU TOLD ME YOU HAD BEEN TO THE TRAINING PLACE AND SEEN A LOVELY WOLF FOR ME. PLEASE DRAW ME A PICTURE AND SEND IT TO ME. HOW CAN I TRUST YOU IF YOU DON'T?
I AM HAPPY THAT YOU HAVE DECIDED TO BE MY BOYFRIEND. I LOOK FORWARD TO MAKING LOVE TO YOU ALL NIGHT LONG AND HAVING YOU TREAT ME LIKE YOUR BITCH.
DO YOU THINK I AM A HANDSOME MAN? WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE ME NAKED?
MARY HAS BEEN TO THE BANK TODAY AND HAS SAID SHE WILL WRITE TO YOU LATER. I HOPE YOU GET THE MONEY SOON BECAUSE I LONG TO SEE YOU AND HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS.
I WILL SPEAK TO YOU SOON MY DARLING.
UP THE ARSE
ALL MY LOVE
MONTY -X-
PS PLEASE SEND ME THE DRAWING OF THE WOLF TOMORROW. I BEG YOU. I CAN FEEL MYSELF GETTING ILL AGAIN AND I NEED IT
PHLIPPLE.
[From Phillipe to Mary;]
DEAR MARY,
I HAVE BEEN SENDING LETTER TO YOU SINCE YESTERDAY BUT NO REPLY,
WHY? AS WE DISCUSS, I AM STILL WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU.
PLEASE AS SOON AS YOU RECIEVE THIS LETTER TRY TO CONTACT ME.
MAY GOD BLESS YOU
THANKS YOURS
PHILLIPE
[Phil really
wants that cash so Mary had better write him a letter.]
[From Mary to
Phillipe]
Dear Phillipe,
Good news I have got a bankers draft for £10,000 for you, if you could provide me with your bank account details and account number I'll mail it to you straight away.
God bless you,
Mary
[I thought
that might slow him down...]
[Phillipe
sends Monty a really gay email with a nice attachment;]
[From Phillipe to
Monty]
MY DEAR MONTY,
PLEASE I AM VERY SORRY THAT I DIDN'T WRITETO YOU SINCE MORNING,I WAS
BUSSY DRAWING THE WOLF THIS IS THE PICTURE OF THE WOLF YOU TOLD ME TO DRAW. I HAVE DRAW IT
TO SHOW YOU THAT I REALLY LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART.
AS YOU ASK ME WHETHER I WILL LIKE TO SEE YOUR NAKEDNESS? YES I WANT
TO SEE IT, SO YOU CAN SCAN IT AND SEND TO ME. BUT CAN YOU STILL COMEDOWN TO PICK ME? OR WILL YOU WANT ME TO COME TO
ENGLAND TO MEET YOU, PLEASE TELL ME LET ME KNOW.
MARY SAID THAT I SHOULD SEND ACCOUNT NUMBER TO HER, TO SEND THE
MONEY. I HAVE SEND IT , PLEASE MY DARLING TRY TO TELL HER TO SEND THE MONEY
TODAY . MY DEAR, I WILL LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU TODAY AS SOON AS SHE SEND IT.
MAY MY LOVE FOR YOU GROW LIKE STARS IN HEAVEN
THANKS YOURS
LOVING PHILLIPE
"UP THE ARSE"
[And
ladies and gentlemen, the worlds first official LAD ART !! Drawn by
Phillipe Mathins of Ghana;]
[COOL!
Look at the top right of the pic and you can see a print out of a scam
email trrough the paper!]
[Phillipe
surprises me by coming up with an account! Maybe it belongs to this
scammer or someone further up the chain.]
[From Phillipe to
Mary]
DEAR MARY,
THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME THE GOODNEWS. THE REASON WHY I NEVER
CONTACT YOU IS BECAUSE MY FRIEND MONTY TOLD ME TO DRAW THE PICTURE OF THE WOLF FOR HIM. I WAS DRAWING IT THAT WAS WHY I DELAY IN WRITTING TO YOU.
PLEASE MARY YOU KNOW MY CONDITION HERE IN GHANA, I DON'T HAVE MY OWN PERSONAL FOREIGN ACCOUNT NUMBER, I WENT TO OUR PASTOR AND HE GAVE ME HIS
OWN FOREIGN ACCOUNT NUMBER, SO PLEASE I WANT YOU TO USE THIS ACCOUNT NUMBER BECAUSE IT IS SAFE FOR ME TO RECIEVE MONEY
NATIONAL INVESTMENT BANK LTD.
INTERNATIONAL BANKING
ACCOUNT NAME: RICHARD TSIKATA-NYANYOVOR
ACCOUNT NO.: 4001211433701
SWIFT CODE NO: NIBGGHAC
CABLES: INVESTMENT
PLEASE MARY I WANT YOU TO GIVE ME ANOTHER GOODNEWS TODAY.
THANKS YOURS
PHILLPE
NB PLEASE AS SOON AS YOU SEND THE MONEY, GIVE ME ALL THE NECESSARY
INFORMATION ABOUT IT.
[From Monty to
Phillipe]
DARLING SWEETBUNS
WHAT A LOVELY WOLF. IT IS GORGEOUS. I LOVE IT. IT REMINDS ME OF SHAGGY SO MUCH. I MISS MAKING LOVE TO HER.
I HAVE SPOKEN TO MARY TODAY AND SHE IS GOING TO GET THE MONEY TO YOU AS SOON AS SHE CAN.
I AM GLAD YOU WANT TO SEE ME NAKED. I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO HAVING YOU AS MY PLAY THING. I WANT TO MAKE ROUGH LOVE TO YOU AND MAKE YOU MY LITTLE BITCH.
I WILL SEND YOU A PICTURE SOON. I AM HAVING ONE TAKEN FOR YOU.
TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO TO YOU WHEN WE MAKE LOVE.
I LOVE YOU
UP THE ARSE
MONTY -X-
[From Phillipe to
Mary]
DEAR MARY,
I HOPE YOU HAVE RECIEVE THE LETTER I SEND TO YOU WITH THE ACCOUNT
NUMBER.
PLEASE TRY TO SEND IT TO ME TODAY AS SOON AS YOU RECIEVE THIS
LETTER.
MARY PLEASE I WANT YOU TO KEEP ONTAKING CARE OF MY FRIEND TILL WHEN I
WILL COME TO ENGLAND .
MAY OUR ALMIGHTY GOD BLESS YOU .
THANKS YOURS
PHILLIPE
[Mary
explains that she needs alternative modalities to make payment..]
[From Mary to
Phillipe]
Dear Phillipe,
Thank you for your emails, you are such a good friend to Monty, I cannot pay the pastor though, the bankers draft must be in your own name and I got it issued to Philliplele Marthines, the account details need to be for your own bank account unless you can suggest a better way of transfering the money?
God bless you,
Mary
[Phillipe is
getting mighty frustrated;]
[From Phillipe to Mary;]
DEAR MARY,
THANK YOU FOR YOUR MAIL,INFACT I HAVE HEARD ALL WHAT YOU SAID.I AM
SURE THAT YOU ARE WITH MY PICTURES. MARY I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT IF I AM A BAD PERSON I COULD NOT
HAVE SEND MY PICTURES TO YOU AND MY FRIEND MONTY.IT IS BECAUSE OF THE LOVE I HAVE WITH MONTY THAT MAKES ME TO SEND MY PICTURES TO YOU IN OTHER
TO MAKE SURE MONTY COME BACK TO HIS NORMAL LIFE. BUT NOW YOU WANT TO PAY ME BACK BY WICKEDING ME AND ABOUDONING ME TO DIE IN THIS WAY .
REMEMBER THAT IT WAS MY FRIEND MONTY'S HEALTH THAT CAUSE MY (HEART
PROBLEM) WHICH I AM STILL SUFFERING TILL TODAY. MARY REMEMBER THAT I HAVE LOST ALL MY PARENTS AND I TAKE MY FRIEND
MONTY AS EVERYTHING TO MY LIFE NOW.IF YOU KNOW THAT YOU LOVE MY LIFE AS I LOVE MONTY'S LIFE AND SEND MY PICTURE TO SAFE HIS LIFE, PLEASE I BEG
YOU IN THE NAME OF GOD TO SEND THE MONEY TO ME SO TRHAT I CAN RUSH MYSELF TO HOSPITAL TOMORROW FOR THE TREATMENT OF MY HEART PROBLEM, UNLESS
YOU WANT ME TO DIE BECAUSE OF YOU.
PLEASE MARY,TRY TO HAVE HUMAN SYMPARTY TO ME BECAUSE YOU ARE THE
ONLY PERSON THAT CAN SAVE MY LIFE NOW. REMEMBER THAT HEART PROBLEM IS A VERY DREADFUL SICKNESS,PLEASE DO NOT ALLOWED ANY BODY TO DISCORRAGE YOU
IN WHAT GOD TELL YOU TO DO TO ME, ONLY GOD KNOW WHO IS BAD AND WHO IS GOOD IN THIS WORLD .PLEASE DON'T ALLOW ME TO DIE WITH THIS SICKNESS ,TRY
TO SEND THE TO ME THROUGH WESTHERN UNION OR THROUGH THE ACCOUNT NO. I GAVE YOU,I WILL RECIEVE IT FAST FOR MY TREATMENT.
BUT WHEN DID YOU AND MY FRIEND MONTY WANT TO COME AND PICK
ME.BECAUSE I WANT TO STAY WITH HIM IN ENGLAND ,PLEASE TELL ME LET ME KNOW.
THANKS MAY GOD BLESS YOU
YOURS
PHILLIPE
NB. PLEASE I WANT TO HEAR GOODNEWS FROM YOU TOMORROW MORNING.BECAUSE I KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE GOD SEND MOTHER TO ME.
[Phil has a
grizzle to Monty about the lack of cash;]
[From Phillipe to
Monty;]
DEAR MONTY,
GOODMORNING, THANK FOR APPRECIATING MY DRAWING . MARY SAID SHE NEVER SEND THE MONEY SHE SAID THAT SHE WANT TO USE MY OWN PERSONAL ACCOUNT.
PLEASE MY DEAR MONTY , YOU KNOW MY CONDITION HERE IN GHANA . I AM IN THE CAMP. I DON'T HAVE MY OWN PERSONAL ACCOUNT. THE ACCOUNT I GIVE HER IS
OK FOR ME. BUT IF SHE DON'T WANT TO USE THE ACCOUNT, PLEASE TELL HER TO SEND IT THROUGH WESTHERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER TODAY I WILL RECIEVE IT.
DEAR LOVE PLEASE TELL ME ARE YOU COMING TO PICK ME TO ENGLAND OR DID YOU WANT ME TO COME THERE BY MYSEIF?.
PLEASE TRY TO TELL MARY TO SEND THE MONEY TO YOUR LOVER TODAY.
THANKS YOURS
SWEET HEART PHILLIPE
"UP THE ARSE"
[He's
really desperate!]
[From Phillipe to Mary]
DEAR MARY ,
THANK YOU FOR YOUR MAIL. PLEASE MARY I TOLD YOU MY CONDITION HERE
IN GHANA . I DON'tHAVE ACCOUNT NUMBER ,AND THAT ACCOUNT IS A DOLLAR
ACCOUNT THAT WAS WHY I USE IT,IF YOU SEND IT TODAY, I WILL RECIEVE IT
TOMORROW. BUT IT YOU DON"T WANT TO USE THE PASTOR'S ACCOUNT PLEASE I BEG
YOU TO SEND THE MONEY THROUGH WESTHERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER TODAY. I AM
SURE THAT YOU WILL PREFER WESTHERN UNION.
PLEASE AS SOON AS YOU SEND IT . TRY TO TELL ME THE NONE YOU USE
AS SOON AS YOU RECIEVE THIS LETTER , PLEASE TRY TO DO IT AND GET BACK
TO ME TODAY .
THANKS YOURS
PHILLIPE
[We're
laughing our asses off here as we let him stew.]
DEAR MONTY,
HOW ARE YOU TODAY, I HOPE THAT YOU HAVE RECIEVE MY LETTER .
BUT WHY YOU DON'T WANT TO CONTACT ME .I HOPE THAT YOU HAVE TOLD MARY
TO SEND THE MONEY TO ME.
MY DEAR LOVE, YOU KNOW MY CONDITION HERE IN GHANA IS NOT GOOD, IF
YOU KNOW THAT YOU LOVE ME AS I LOVE YOU ,PLEASE TELL MARY TO SEND THE
MONEY TO ME,AS SOON AS YOU RECIEVE THIS LETTER CONTACT ME LET ME HEAR
FROM YOU ,
I AM EXPECTING TO HEAR A GOODNEWS FROM YOU TODAY
YOURS LOVER
PHILLIPE
"UP THE ARSE"
[Can
you feel his pain?]
[From Phillipe to Mary;]
PLEASE MARY ,
AS I TOLD YOU THAT I AM VERY SICK ,I DON'T WANT TO TELL MY FRIEND
BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO HIM IF I TELL HIM ,I WANT TO GO TO
HOSPITAL BUT NO MONEY WITH ME ,PLEASE MARY I WANT TO HEAR GOODNEWS FROM
YOU TODAY
YOU CAN SEND THE MONEY WITH THAT ACCOUNT OR THROUGH WESTHERN UNION
MONEY TRANSFER ,I WILL RECIEVE IT .PLEASE TRY TO SEND IT TODAY ,
MAY GOD BLESS YOU
YOUTS DEAR PHILLIPE
[Okay, time
to relieve him...]
[From Mary to
Phillipe]
My dear Phillipe,
I went to Montys trustees today to get the money to send via Western Union but the lawyer asked me where it was being sent so I told him Africa. The lawyer forbade me to send the capital, he was saying something about scammers.
To be honest with you I feel really sorry for you Phillipe so I took the money out in cash instead, the only thing I can suggest is that Monty and I bring the money over to Ghana for you.
I would have prefered to send you a bankers draft but that seems to be out of the question now.
You need to understand Monty is a mentally ill man and his money is looked after by a group of legal executives and they approve every transaction. I told them the £10,000 was for a holiday and they agreed.
Is there any way you could get to an airport to meet us?
By the way, you have said many times that you are ill, tell me dear what is wrong? What illness are you suffering from? It sounds dreadful.
Please respond soon,
Reverend Mary.
[We're sure
that Phillipe Breathed a huge sigh of relief after thinking he'd lost his
magas!]
[From Phillipe to
Mary]
DEAR MARY.
I AM VERY VERY HAPPY FOR ALL YOUR EFFORT,PLEASE COULD YOU TELL ME WHEN
YOU PEOPLE ARE COMMING DOWN HERE TO GHANA SO THAT I WILL MAKE THE
ARREGEMENT FOR YOUR HOTEL RESAVETION AND ALSO HOW TO PICK YOU PEOPLE FROM
THE AIRPORT.
PLEASE MARY I HAVE SEND MY FRIEND AN EMAIL SO YOU SHOULD TRY AND MEET
HIM SO THAT HE WILL INSTRUCT AND DIRECT YOU HOW TO SEND THE MONEY
PLEASE I AM WAITING FOR THE CONTROL NUMBER AS SOON AS YOU SEND THE MONEY.
EXPECTING GOOD NEW FROM YOU SOONEST.
THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU.
PHILLIPE.
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