BAM! Intro sounds like 'You Made Me Realise' played by a one-man band in a dustbin being attacked by space invaders. ZAP! 'What If's & Maybes' spews out philosophical musings about the lottery of life at 100 rockabilly beats per minute. RAH! 'Woolley Bridge' Sticks the boot in some girl wot dun them wrong, Who style. BLAP! 'Going round to have a word' goes charging round next door to complain about the music on too loud, too late. Rock & Roll? Nope. Good.
Swoooon, 'Poppy Bird'; A Billy Bragg drama from the kitchen sink and a few more stops to Walthamstow. Rolling drums recorded in a biscuit tin, tote choppy guitars and a boyish keening for the eternal girl on the train. I loved that girl once, twenty years ago on the Birkenhead line. It's good to know she's still riding the rails, breaking our hearts. Anyway...
BOOSH! 'Fight Music for the Fight'; Set your bass to Distort and your chorus to Stun lads, we're going in. The sound of the whole band falling down a hill. Plonk! 'Lesley Parlafitt' Like Punk really happened. Small town put down. It's true, small towns are shit. Sha la la la. KERFUNK! 'One Nautical Mile' Boooring. Top guitar solo though. FANG! 'Rosey Lee' Girl falls in with wrong crowd, gets fucked up on amps. "When you gonna realise you are just beautiful" so goes the acoustic counsel from the Bromhead Advice Bureau. Good lads, look after each other. SMACK! 'He likes Them Airbrushed' Gimme, gimme, gimme that big bass buzz. Glossy celebrity jiggle mag babes are rubbish! Get yourself a nice girl, they're loads better. True! There's loads of true on this record, smart. THINK! Some kids are in bands for something other than MUSIC! They'll jump on any and every bandwagon to get FAMOUS! Wankers. Righteous electric stomp, they're not bitter; they're better. BOTCHULISM! Funny, indie kids in the eighties couldn't afford to go to McDonalds. Indie kids in the nineties could and did but would never admit it and now Indie kids just go. Is it ok now? Did I miss a meeting? 'Trip to the Golden Arches', Streets scanned tale of a wheel clenched road rage trip to the burger palace. MOSH! 'Hazy in Yately' Eats up the tape at a rapid rate before smashing to a finish. SECRET TRACK! Calvin and Hobbes guest on the bitch and squall feedback finale frenzy 'Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat' which doesn't do an awful lot to be honest.
The lack of apostrophe denoting ownership in the bands name irked me when I first saw it but now I realise they just don't have the time to apostrophise, like, y'know. Speed thrills.
