Pink Floyd
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Pink Floyd was a groundbreaking progressive rock band that came out at least 100 years ago from a small island nation that most have never heard of. You are required to listen to and like Pink Floyd if you are a dirty hippie, stoner, hipster or a 16 year old boy with long greasy hair and no fucking music taste what-so-ever which is pretty damn annoying. But besides all that, they were the shit before cassette tapes came along.
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[edit] Syd Barrett Years
The earliest incarnation of the band featured original frontman Syd Barrett on guitar, vocals, and crazy, Roger Waters on bass and ego, Richard Wright on keyboards and narcicism, and Nick Mason on drums and anonymity. They might have been just an interesting footnote in the psychedelic rock history book if not for the fact Barrett was fucking crazy, or, in rock critic-speak, a "damaged genius". Their 1967 debut album Badger the Toad Fucker featured childlike pseudo-psychedelic songs about gnomes that sounded vaguely like Sgt. Peppers-era Beatles if John Lennon had an extra chromosome.
Barrett left the band after he dropped so much acid he became clinically insane instead of just certifiably insane. He recorded a few solo albums that sounded like they were recorded in a basement somewhere in one take. Pink Floyd keyboardist Rick Wright wrote one song for him, "Two of a Kind", noteworthy for the fact that it's the only song in his solo catalog that has a melody and doesn't feature lyrics that read like Dr. Suess if he were a child molester.
Barrett slowly faded from the limelight and died in 2006 from pancreatic cancer. Did I mention he was crazy?
[edit] The Real Pink Floyd/Roger Waters Years
Barrett was replaced by David Gilmour, who unlike Barrett was a talented guitarist and singer but spent the better part of the band's career as Waters' ass puppet. After tooling around for a few years without a real leader or sense of direction, Floyd released a series of albums that sounded vaguely like someone plucking rubber bands against a piece of cardboard. Roger Waters then took over as the primary lyricist, songwriter, and--eventually and for the most part--singer, even though he sounded like a cat in heat being ass-raped by a blender. His massive ego and increasingly dictatorial manner were obvious attempts to compensate for his lack of ability as a musician. (Before you flame me, keep in mind that all the cool, nimble fretless bass parts on your favorite Floyd records were actually played by David "Yes, Roger" Gilmour.)
Nevertheless, under Waters' direction, Floyd garnered incredible success and acclaim from the type of people who claim to read Nietzche and live in their parents' basement. At the height of their powers, they released four consecutive concept albums Delving into Pretension (1973), Outerspace Synthrock Manifesto (1975), Cribbing From Orwell (1977), and Fame's a Bitch and I'm An Acid Casualty (1979) that struck a chord with such insights as war is bad, greed is stupid, and too much money and fame can make you crazy and stuff. After Fame's a Bitch... was adapted into an ice show in 1981, Waters suffered a near fatal liberal-guilt attack at his own success and tried to alienate all but his most dedicated fan-base with the 1983 Floyd-in-name-only album My Daddy Died At the Anzio Bridgehead in WWII.
[edit] Post-Roger Waters Era
in 1987, Roger Waters left the band after he realized that working with people who actually knew how to play their instruments got in the way of writing pseudo-intellectual concept-burdened spoken word pieces set to muzak. David Gilmour took over as frontman and primary songwriter, hired seven thousand backing musicians and had his wife write the lyrics. He officially re-named the band 1987 Pink Floyd Ltd and released the album A Momentary Lapse of Reason, Indeed, which featured generic half-Floyd songs about Gilmour's private jets and how butthurt he was at having to be Waters' bitch all those years. Waters blasted the new Floyd in the press while writing albums about monkeys and retards who communicate through radio signals. At the end of each gig of 1987 Pink Floyd Ltd.'s '94 Cashing In stadium tour, three midgets took to the stage to dance around an eight inch Stonehenge model.
[edit] Trolling Pink Floyd fans
Studies show, most Pink Floyd fans are devout on believing that they were 'OMGZ TOTALLY REVOLUTIONARY FOR THE MUSIC WORLD AND THE '60S AND THEY ARE SO DEEP AND MEANINGFUL LOLOL' You can easily take advantage of this by reciting some of these following phrases:
- "Oh yeah, Pink Floyd, they were a pretty revolutionary band for the 1920s, right?"
- "Pink Floyd, yeah I know them but I don't really like modern music."
- "I like Pink Floyd but yeah, sometimes the lyrics aren't very deep, their songs are usually one-sided and boring."
- "Yeah I love Pink Floyd, especially the cover of Comfortably Numb by the Scissor Sisters. Best rendition ever, in my opinion."
[edit] See also
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