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Zune
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
After releasing the shining achievement that was the Xbox 360 to the public, Microsoft thought that they weren’t having enough cash sucked out of their assholes, and decided to create the shit colored (and filled) music player called the Zune. Microshaft seems to be under the impression that the Zune is an iPod killer. This might have something to do with Billy Gates’ noggin’ being filled with Steve Job’s man mustard. Mmm, business. The Zune comes in four different colors; Psychopath White, Fall Out Boy Black, Scat Lover's Brown, and Homoerotic Pink. They also came out with Bloodshead Red last weekend or something. Another color for the scene fucks!
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[edit] Why the Zune Sucks
Becuase Bill Gates has a fetish for busted hardware, the Zune launched with many problems. Zune has an utterly useless feature that lets you beam songs to other Zune users, since the only people in the world who own a Zune are Bill Gates, Tycho from Penny Arcade, and Your Mom. You can only keep the songs for '3 days or 3 plays', which might be a result of all Zune users having shitty tastes in music. The Zune also has a series of useless Firmware updates, which have still yet to make the Zune any less shitty. We'd keep you posted, but it's already a lost cause. I mean, the damn thing doesnt even have a fucking clock
The software got an update! Now it fucks up your library and puts fucking Green Day album art on ALL your music!
[edit] The Zune and Bricking
Like many Microsoft products, It is not compatible with other Microsoft products and it's said to have a form of some STD, acquired when linking the Zune to its incestuous cousin, the 360 (stick it in my USB slot baby! oh yeah, deeper~). It's said that the 360 acquired this STD after Bill Gates decided that the Memory Card slot looked oddly like a vagina at the time, due to massive amounts of cocaine dancing around in his brain.
The best way to restore your Zune is to press back and up on the Dpad until Satan is spawned from hell and shits out another one from his ass
[edit] Why the Zune Rocks
It's not an iPod. Also, it's got a big ass screen on it so that you can play your CP on it in the Chuck E. Cheese bathrooms, you faggot.
Also, it just got semi-useful firmware updates! Now you dont have to listen to the Coldplay dickshit songs your gay cousing sent you within 3 days! You can keep them as long as you want but you can only listen to them three times. Which will probably never happen because who the fuck is going to listen to Coldplay? Moar leik Gayplay amirite?
Also, it has wireless sync now. so you can sync your CP FROM the Chuck E. Cheese bathrooms!
[edit] Other Tidbits
• The Zune will soon be able to play games, because there just simply aren't enough ways to play Tetris. Seriously!
• If you're wondering which is better, the Zune or the iPod; the answer is neither. Go buy a Creative Zen. Or cassette player is also better than all three.
[edit] Zune Usage
Searching for nearby Zunes... None found. Searching for nearby Zunes... None found. Searching for nearby Zunes... "Lola" found.
Sending "Hello" by Lionel Richie
Receiving "Hi There" by Killdozer
Sending "Do You Come Here Often?" by The Tornados Ridin' the Wind
Receiving "I Get Around" by The Beach Boys
Sending "Welcome To The Jungle" by Guns 'N' Roses
Sending "What Brings You Here?" by Sandra Knight
Receiving "Dateless Losers" by Reel Big Fish
Sending "Come On" by Technotronic
Receiving "Bad Experience" by Juan Rogelo Camilon
Sending "You Don't Say" by Pinhead Circus
Receiving "Long Story" by Rudy Mills
Sending "I Got Time" by Letters to Cleo
Receiving "My Ex" by The Jackys Receiving "We Had It All" by Willie Nelson Receiving "Money" by Pink Floyd Receiving "Fame" by Irene Cara Receiving "Diamonds" by Los Lonely Boys Receiving "Minions" by Wild Strawberries Receiving "The Six Million Dollar Sandwich" by The Dead Texan Receiving "You Robbed a Sperm Bank Because You're a Cum Guzzling Fag" by Anal Cunt
Sending "What Happened To You?" by The Offspring
Receiving "Love Died" by The Order
Sending "Let Me Guess" by Welcome to Florida Sending "Someone Else" by The Radio Dept.
Receiving "No" by De La Soul Receiving "Science Fiction" by Ruffo Receiving "Outer Space" by The Muffs Receiving "Infatuation" by Rod Stewart Receiving "Movies" by Alient Ant Farm Receiving "Merchandise" by Fugazi Receiving "Little Dolls" by Ozzy Osbourne Receiving "Life in Outer Space" by Grand Funk Failroad Receiving "He Didn't Care For Me" by The White Mountain Boys
Sending "Funny How Love Can Be" by Harpers Bizarre
Receiving "I Don't Know How I Got By" by Edwin McCain Receiving "I Freaked Out Like a Big Truck" by John Davis Receiving "Total Nutcase" by A. Graham & The Moment Band Receiving "Burning Down the House" by Talking Heads Receiving "I Made Love to a Martian" by Mustard Plug Receiving "I Did It For The Toys" by Dance Hall Crashers Receiving "Freaks in Uniforms" by The HorrorPops Receiving "Kill Them All" by The Upsetters
Sending "That's Not Nice To Say" by 2nd Chapter of Acts
Receiving "I Don't Care" by Black Flag Receiving "I Don't Want To Care" by Jessica Simpson Receiving "This Much I Know" by Dwight Yoakam Receiving "I Like You" by Morrissey Receiving "Why Don't We Get Drunk" by Jimmy Buffett Receiving "Let Me See Your Underwear" by Blow-up
Sending, "Hey, Wanna Throw Up? Get Me Naked" by Minus the Bear
Receiving "Strip" by Adam Ant
Sending "I Can't" by Sammie
Receiving "Tell Me Why" by Neil Young
Sending "Chewbacca's On My Underwear" by Rutherford B. Hayes is Dead
Receiving "Do You Hear What I Hear?" by Bing Crosby
Sending "What?" by Soft Cell
Receiving "The Breakup Song" by American Hi-Fi
Sending "Please Don't Go" by Double You Sending "I Don't Want To Lose You" by REO Speedwagon
Receiving "Bozo Weirdo Wacko Creep" by David Baerwald
Playing "Alone Again (Naturally)" by Gilbert O'Sullivan
