Cock
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A cock is what boys have between their legs and what your mom loves sliding up her cooch - unless your mother is Ann Coulter in which case you should really just kill yourself now. Some people give their cock a name. If yours doesn’t have a name yet, there’s a handy tool that will name it for you right here. Some argue that this is done to misplace responsibility for your cock's inadequacy, but their just jealous, amirite?
Cocks spew many things, including but not limited to: anti-lulz, jenkem, and semen. Jews do not believe in cocks.
Contents |
[edit] Where to Put Cock
- in the ass
- in the mouth
- in a condom (archaic)
- between your breasts
- In the ear.
- In the Richard Hall
- In the eye.
- In neighbor
- In your mum
- Your tearducts
- Your dad's ass
- Any bodily opening, including a papercut
[edit] Where NOT to put Cock
- Furries
- Snapesnogger
- Aids filled pools
- Diabeetus filled pools
- CandleJack OH SHI
- Chin chan
- Goatse
- fags
- Girlvinyl's vagina, EVER
[edit] List of People who Love Cock
Many people have been known to love the cock. Here are just a few of the many people that love the cock.
- Michael Jackson (Has to be small and hairless)
- Tom Cruise (TCLTC)
- El Pons (Watermelonz in teh headz)
- Raymond (sliced in four equally sized pieces)
- El Larry (Carihuela dairy queen)
- Steven The Pedo (Peter Cockmaster Fanboy)
- El Licudi
- jameth
- scarlet
- girlvinyl
- John Travolta
- toresbe
- Klarawagner
- hepkitten
- fennec
- sdf
- forunlawfulck (to be fair she only admitted to liking the cock)
- iconoclast (he likes the pole and the hole, the dirty faggot)
- All Nazi mystics
- Your mom
- chix0r loves both cut and uncut cock [1].
- Hoveround
- NeoLobster
- tfo
- Liberals (please note this only true of the men all the women are dykes)
- Furries (Only if you consider them "people".)
- Larry Craig
- Littlecloud (Has to be small and hairless)
- You
- Xenu (He was gay for Hubbard)
LTC, an acronym for “Loves The Cock”, is commonly used to refer to people who love the cock.
[edit] Penis Size and Enlargement
- Penis Size
The truth about penis size is plain and simple: you are the only person that cares about the size of your cock! Sexually speaking, most women could care less about the size of their man's penis; they’re moar interested in what the man does to make their vaginas feel good. f you’re gay, your male partner is probably moar interested in finding antique Cher paraphernalia on eBay than the size of your piece of pork. You only need to worry if you suffer from the rare condition known as...
- MICROPENIS!!!
A bacterial infection which devours cock muscle, leaving your member miniature and permanently outside of all vaginae. To determine if you suffer from Micropenis, start by whipping out your wife-pipe. Grab the longest pubic hair you have and pull it straight. If it is longer than your member, you're fucked!
1 in 6 people on average suffer from Micropenis. Lulz.
- Penis Enlargement
Every single advertisement that guarantees to increase the size of your cock is the truth! If you were smart enough to buy a product that promised to increase your penis size, then you already know this fact. If you’re considering buying any kind of product to make your cock bigger, do it because it’s very worthwhile. So, don’t put any penis enlarging pills, creams, lotions, devices, or machines on your Christmas or Hanukah list, BUY THEM NOW!. You’ll just be setting yourself up for dick enlargement. If you’re still thinking of buying one of those schlong great ideas, then study the lessons from The Anti-PenisPropaganda Foundation for Non-Profit Penis Size Information
[edit] Synonyms for Cock
bell-end, blue-veined junket pumper, boner, David Hasselhoff, dick, dipstick, doughnut holder, harbl, hard on, hot dog, John Thomas, knob, dong, lady-pleaser, love stick, love muscle, Lil' Jimmy Norton, firm worm, front-mounted bitch splitter, little army man, meat, meat whistle, mushroom tip, my lunch, nob, ol’ one-eye, one-eyed trouser snake, one-eyed wonder weasel, Penis, pecker, pee-pee, piece of pork, pink oboe, pork sword, prick, purple-headed trouser snake, pussy plunger, python of love, rod, salty dog, skin flute, your mom, schlong, shaft, spunk stick, stiffy, throbber, third leg, throbbing trouser trout, yogurt slinger, pirate of men’s pants, wee-wee, wiener, willy, woody.
[edit] Cock Envy
Numerous porn addicts can often feel jealous about the ridiculously large size of a male model’s penis. This view however is founded on false beliefs, as in reality the addicts penis has usually been photoshopped to look smaller than it actually is.
[edit] Famous Cocks
[edit] Cock Convenience Video
[edit] moar cock vid
[edit] Not To Be Confused With
- Wang, which is not a cock, but a high protein meal that’s as fun to play with as it is to eat!
[edit] External Cock Links
- Penis2.mp3 radio ad According to the New Zealand AIDS foundation, there is a National Penis day,
- Penis1.mp3 radio ad...But it kind of seems like it might be every thursday according to this radio ad.
- Documentary of Penis Pictures — a massive archive of free penis pictures and surveys that tries to be serious, but ended up being a big collection of funny looking cocks.
- MONSTERSOFCOCK — another fine place to see cock, featuring a FAQ so fine it deserves reproduction:
- WHY DID YOU MAKE THIS WEBSITE?
- We wanted to do a site of guys with normal sized penises, and girls with tiny vaginas...we were going to call it “you will feel like you are a MONSTER OF COCK”...but the name was too long.
[edit] Admit it! You fap to cocks!
 Pokefags like cocks. |
 b likes cocks. |
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 Man clit. |
