Evolution
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Evolutionary Theory is the logical, factual and anti-Creationist idea that man (including pedo Priests) evolved from hairy man beasts. This theory is currently being forced upon our public school kids for their own good. As all Butthurt Christians everywhere cry over the fact that their retarded idea of creationism see: VenomFangX is not being taught to the already brainwashed, anally abused, American school brats all over the country.
Despite the obvious facts of Evolution many American Ediots still believe what they were told by pedo priests at the age of five as they were being groomed for a life of Anal abuse and schlong fondling. Many people in more intellectual and secular western counties than the U.S believe that the fact that there is even a debate between evolution and the farce that is creationism is pure retardation and that it should become illegal to mention both terms in the same sentence (in case of which please delete previous sentence).
The following are some of the Deluded viewpoints of creationist warmongers arguing against evolutionary 'science' (of course these beliefs are irrelevant in any debate against evolution because the creationists only have to mention the 'proof' of what is written in the bible and they have won the argument).
- In the god-damn Bible, God created man from clay, not monkeys, duh.
- Everyone knows God created the Earth in seven days and the dinosaurs are a communist scam. If you don't, you're a donkey porker.
- If monkeys evolved into people there wouldn't be any monkeys left, duh.
- If you believe in evolution you can't believe in God and if you don't believe in God you don't have any morals and if nobody had any morals we'd all be hating, raping, robbing, and killing each other.
- If Darwin were alive today, he would be hooted out of the scientific community because he was not a trained scientist and because of his outrageous views about black people. Darwin thought that blacks were closer to man's ape "ancestors" than the white race! Michael Jackson is a keen evolutionist convert... realising that becoming white is evolutionary progress.
Evolution was imagined by Charles Darwin (a man who married his cousin) during his voyage to the Galapagos islands, probably while high on toad poison and the cooked droppings from several dozen species of small native birds. Afterwards he denied that evolution had merit because other sources of evidence found in the complexities of midwife toads had made evolution an invalid concept. But this has been ignored by evolutionists and they prefer to live in fantasy where man derived from apes and maybe they can present hold a valid case for the world to have sex with a monkey man or even a green monkey to get Aids and hopefully say that it is normal just like heterosexuals and current world view of homosexuality. Also, they believe if evolution in its very essence should work in its current form, it should allow the progression for evolutionists to make it scientifically possbile to conceve with any being possible from Green monkeys to man on man action, man on sheep and even man on guinea pig. This is their desire to make their version of perfect evolutionary utopian culture where people are man cross dolphin, man cross ape, man cross Llama which gives them abilities above human constraints. But currently with all their crazy laws they prefer to attempt cloning so they do not have to be seen as monkey, homosexual, guinea pig homosexual humping evolutionists. "SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST". But some say this may be the pathway to new disease of super AIDS that will destroy mankind, but evolutionists are faithful in medical science which was the designer of the AIDS virus.
The next step in the evolution process for man is the androgyny represented as a success by Marilyn Manson. This is seen by pretty much everyone as fucked up and disturbing but most evolutionists have urges to evolve into such a form so they are demented sickos who want to suck themselves off and feel their own breasts.
The concept of de-evolution is the idea that mankind is devolving into violent, brain-eating apes. Another concept of de-evolution states that we are devolving into LJ Users and shitty Lunix groupware suites.
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[edit] Evolution and the big question
Evolution says that life spawned from the primordial soup.
Was your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grand daddy....soup?
This completely airtight argument provided by Kent "Dr.Dino" Hovind, currently residing in Federal Pound Me In The Ass Prison
[edit] Interesting Facts From Fundamentalists
- Evolution is incorrect.
- Hitler believed in evolution, further demonstrating that it is incorrect. Furthermore, the 50 Hitlers post believed in evolution 50 times, thus proving it is 50 times incorrect. And also wrong.
- No missing links have been found. Once scientists find a missing link, it is no longer missing. Hah, get around that, Chucky D!
- According to a highly valid historian named Lady Hope, Darwin wanted to permanently delete his theory from the livejournal page that is the scientific community and go back to Christianity. When she asked if he had anything to confess, Darwin gave up evolution and returned to Christianity. As he was about to die, Darwin struggled to find a way to make God understand why he had done what he did before facing judgement. It is reported that as he finally slipped away, he could be heard whisper: "I did it for the lulz"! The reason Lady Hope is considered so accurate was that she promptly published her story 33 years after Darwin's death.
- Furries disprove evolution.
- Non-living matter has never been observed changing into a living organmism which would be nessecary for evolution.
- They have terrible grammar.
[edit] Interesting Facts From Scientists
- Darwin was very likely correct. Fundamentalist Christians, however, are incestuous idiots who are wrong about everything and allowing them to homeschool their children will result in the collapse of civilization
- Proof of evolution can be easily obtained by announcing there will be a tidal wave, then counting how many people bring their whole family to the beach to see it.
- LOOK AT FUCKING ROBIN WILLIAMS!
- Proof of evolution: Look at 50 Cent. Apes and niggers both LOVE shiny things!
- Evolution is believed by brilliant people like Richard Dawkins, TheAmazingAtheist, and over opinionated bitches who fuck nerdy dudes.
[edit] The line of evolution
baby>>harry potter fan>>fangirl>>suicide girl>>slut>>ghey slut>>fallout boy member
[edit] Techniques For Promoting Evolution OL
Present A United Front
- Evolgen.net -- Ripping someone a new asshole using only a single genome.
- Response: "it seems that you seem to be in need of a second asshole yourself, since you're so entirely full of shit. please allow me to rip you a new one (as you so eloquently put it). it is short-sighted, sorry excuses for (amateur?) scientists like yourself that make evolution such easy prey for the creationists."
Apply Diplomacy
Use Logic
- Sci Thread Archive from Usenet.com
- "Soroty? What's a sotory, you illiterate fuck? What are eys? I'll tell you what they are - yet another in an endless blather of excuses from the asswipe who claimed there were colossal holes in the Theory of Evolution."
Tactfully Renounce Creationism
- The science curriculum -- Why teach evolution?
- "Are you fucking calling me a fucking creationist??? I am deeply insulted to be thought of as such a low life piece of shit motherfucker who doesn't reason, and believes all the shit the churches tell them! I hate the sons of bitches who stop at nothing to destroy science just so they can stay in the dark ages! You motherfucker!"
[edit] Mrs. Garrison explains the theory of evolution
[edit] See Also
- The Darwin Awards
- Ron Paul denies evolution "as a theory"
