Liberal guilt
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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[edit] What is liberal guilt
Liberal guilt is a perfectly natural phenomenon by which people feel guilty for being born and/or raised in more culturally, economically or socially favorable circumstances. Basically, it's taking for granted that being a white, wealthy, healthy, straight man makes you more lucky than everybody else, and therefore that you should feel guilty for existing, since it is common knowledge that you are responsible for people's shit when they are less lucky than you. Therefore, people affected by liberal guilt are responsible for the problems of the entire universe. They should be hated by every kind of minority unless they do charity work and state how tolerant and sorry they are for being cruel and egocentric between every other statement, especially with examples of cruelty which only concern past generations and which they haven't done anything to cause, like slavery.
When you are target to liberal guilt, it is severely frowned upon to pursue any kind of happiness and satisfaction, that is, via money, material beings, vacations, laughing, resting, eating or breathing. It's okay to assume, since you're not poor nor disadvantaged by belonging to a minority, that you are bound to be happy with your life - especially considering that you have money, source of automatic happiness - and that clinging onto any kind of additional personal satisfaction is superficial and egocentric.
Liberal guilt is caused by:
- not being black, Hispanic, Asian, gay, Native American, "differently abled," bisexual, suffering from any disease, or poor, or any combination of the above, or
- being held responsible (by any or all of the above) for all possible repression or oppression, past, present, or future, that may or may not have occurred toward any of the above mentioned groups, or any combination of the above groups (i.e., bisexual Asian midgets with ADD, etc.) or
- just being a white man.
Note that this is a variant of white guilt. The two often appear interchangeable, but don't be fooled -- there are differences. Liberal guilt in its purest form usually involves any or all of the following:
- Obsessively sorting household refuse for recycling, then transporting said recycling to the recycling center in a behemoth of an SUV;
- Involvement in any number of cost-ineffective nonprofit organizations, which must boast slick yet "natural"-looking brochures and periodicals;
- Spending one's time and energy trying to change/heal/Oprahfy the world not via any sorts of actions, but rather by participation in hackneyed and blasphemous imitations of Eastern religion, positive thinking/visualization, and/or extreme usage of scented candles; and
- Buying organic.
Not to be confused with Liberal quilt. Or libertarian guilt, which occurs whenever a yank visits this page.
[edit] How to Identify Liberal Guilt
Telltale signs of liberals and their guilt are as follows:
- Carrying around a Mac and trying to convince anyone who will listen that it's "the only way to keep track of donations to Darfur!"
- Sipping on lattes while talking about their latest donation to Wikipedia.
- Proclaiming jadedness or love of sitar music.
