Ronald Reagan

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USA before Reagan.

USA after Reagan

His bitch

His lovely wife, Nancy.

"Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first."

Ronald Reagan was the Führer and the 40th President of the United States or Fourth Reich, who is fondly remembered for being at least 100 feet tall, was a hideous old fart with a disgusting, leaking bowel system. He served two terms, from 1980 to 1984, and then again from 1984 to bedtime. He is widely remembered by conservatives and Republicans to be an hero.

Thanks to his sponsorship of Terrorism, Ronald Reagan single handedly destroyed communism forever and saved Jesus from the Jews. Born Herschel Jewlowitz the III, to loving father Herschel II, a fucking kyke pimp, and Marylyn "I takes it how you wants to give it to me" Kykesavage. His father was a ruthless pimp, and a stern father. Ronnie would say in his biography, "After a while I got used to the merciless anal poundings perpetrated by my father. But the hemeroids and emotional scars remain."

In his early years, Reagan was an underground porn actor. His best-known film is probably Godless Homo 3, the story of a young man receiving a massive semen communion for a full 120 minutes.

Reagan in his private jet early 1979, drooling over a cock fantasy.

In the 1970s, Reagan successfully ran for Governor of California. At this point his tits had grown to a full C. After winning, he allegedly stated "I've seen more than most people my age. I need to shave my boobs every day, but boy does it pay off. Now where did that child prostitute go?"

Because of his racist beliefs, Reagan wanted to build nuclear space weapons to kill non-aryans on the moon. His scheme was hindered by hippie perverts.

In late 1980, he invented AIDS.

He was subject of an assassination attempt by a four year old asshole in 1981, after which he was clinically dead for about two weeks. Kept alive with melted goose pumped into his veins, he was finally revived by radioactive wisdom sucked from Hitler's ancient, preserved cervix.

After his 1988 resignation, Reagan regressed into total senility, to the entertainment of his close relatives. He was often made to believe his name was "Pure AIDS", "Smelly Balls" or "Freddie Mercury's Big Plump Slut". They also duped him into eating non-aryan children, something his deeply racist pre-Alzheimer self never would have agreed to.

In the summer of 2004, President Reagan passed away after choking on a bukkake smorgasbord provided by David Hasselhoff, Ann Coulter, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, and several others.

He once dressed as an aardvark and plucked a banjo in an abandoned laundromat.

He is today worshipped by many necrosexuals as the Greatest President evar.

1 Alzheimer's Disease
2 Claims to fame
3 External links
4 Related articles

[edit] Alzheimer's Disease

Ronald Reagan was a member of the Democratic Party until he caught a nasty case of Alzheimer's Disease from wearing a cowboy costume that was too tight. As a result, he switched to the Republican Party. It wasn't until after he was done being President that his affliction was revealed. Few public sightings of Reagan occured after that, but it is said that he increasingly resembled a bewildered and confused cross between Marmaduke and The Crypt Keeper.