/b/
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| Did you know that... /b/ IS /b/ACK. ALTHO THE MAIN PAGE STILL REDIRECTS, YOU CAN ACCESS ALL BOARDS DIRECTLY? |
| OH SHI...: the niggers know where you live /b/. |
While 4chan /b/ is technically an imageboard, it is more commonly known as the asshole of the Internets. According to Fox News, they are also the corrupters of "LOL", and a secret underground network of evil hackers on steroids. It is populated by pedophiles, furries, otaku, wapanese, Azns, otherkin, Trent Reznor and probably Will Smith.
Every one who was finally permabanned from Something Awful or found Ogrish too tame call /b/ home. Pedophiles who have crawled out from not4chan come here to post and collect kiddie porn, but they usually do not last long, as posting CP is a permabannable offense. If you're having trouble finding a proxy for your trolling activities that's not banned from 4chan, it's because the pedos have already gotten them all permabanned by posting CP. They usually retreat to 420chan after that, as posting CP is common practice on that site's /b/.
Posting shitting dick nipples in /b/, however, is NOT a bannable offense and is welcomed with open arms and fapping hands.
/b/'s cracked-out mods frequently sticky their own posts, attempting to create their own memes, sometimes spamming stickies until the entire board is just a place to view the mods' stickies. Whiny /b/tards have been begging Doug to unban snacks ever since (even though it was constant whining to moot that got him removed in the first place).
If a celebrity dies, plz to be going directly to /b/ for the traditional eulogising of the still warm -perhaps still alive- body.
Following a catastrophe (see Minneapolis Bridge Collapse), /b/ will be first on the scene with shoops of the event, starting with John Locke, Seaking, Rule 34, and combinations of the 3. It will then follow the list of old memes all the way down until it hits Chuck Norris. ED will then follow suit, with somewhat less Fail.
Contents |
[edit] How has /b/ changed your life?
es, would you like to join?
- We learned that you shouldn't be too serious about your copypasta. Especially when it comes to football.
- If you frequent Habbo Hotel, then you'll notice that creating a character with a suit and an afro is now grounds for an insta-ban. You have /b/ to thank for that.
- /b/tards were called in to troll Wowzaz_86's livejournal after he munched carpet on a sleeping girl.
- #4chan is populated almost exclusively by /b/tards. Everyone else is Doug.
- If you've become gay, a furry, or a run-of-the-mill sick fuck due to internets exposure, it is likely caused by a combination of Livejournal and /b/. You may wish to bask in the healing rays of Quasidan's
to cleanse yourself of all internet sin.
- If you have AIDS, /b/ did it.
- You will be Dying Alone.
[edit] Sample Quotes from /b/
- "This is fucking disturbing... all these pictures of children... but for some strange reason I got a boner while looking through those pics."
- "hey guy's i think after 23 years i've finally realized i am gay or maybe partially i dunno. this is scary but in a way liberating. I woke up one day after having a dream about an orgy with men. It bothered me for the last week everytime i would think about it i got horny. I started looking at craigslist listings for a sexual experience, well tonight a guy came over, we made out first, i was never hornier in my life. He unzipped my pants and flipped me over on the sofa and started licking my anus, that got me soo hard. He then started jerking me off while shoving his tongue down my anus. I've never came so fast, i felt so embarrased but he was very reassuring, he licked me clean. I was so afraid that after i came i would regret what i have done, but i didn't, i was just a little more relaxed, the lust for the cock was still there, i just wasn't as nervous now. Anyway i didn't want to blow him because i told him i was afraid of the aids, so he put on a condom and began to fuck me from behind. I've had anal experiences before, my girlfriend (she's back home for summer break, we go to school together, more about her later) used a strap on on me a number of times and when i'm alone at home sometimes lurking /b/ i'd have a butt plug in me. But wow, this is a whole different experience, i was being fucked by man who knew what he was doing, anal with my girlfriend was pleasurable but compared to this guy her thrusts were awkward and without the control that a person growing up with a all his life."
- "so, i see you've taken a small, 4-5 year old retard kid, and shopped jizzing es around his smiling face so it looks like a manga bukkake party. God bless you anonymous. That could only happen here on /b/"
- TITS OR GTFO!!!1
- HELLO WORLD! AND WELCOME TO 4CHAN!
- I just ate some fried chicken.
The breasts were juicy, and the buns were soft and warm.
Afterwards, the division manager of Popeyes came up to my table and asked me how the meal was. I said I was satisfied, but the meal lacked a certain je ne sais quoi. He apoligized profusely, and said he had something to show me that would make up for it.
He lead me to the back of the popeyes, to a room soaked from floor to ceiling in blood. In the center of it was a live horse, chained by all four legs to the structural supports of the warehouse like room. As I watched, employees of the popeyes cut large sections from the horse, which was whinneying and screaming in horror. The popeyes employees took the chunks of horseflesh and sliced them into pieces, then they rooted around through the bags of trash strewn around the room to find discarded chicken bones. They quickly tenderized the meat with sledgehammers and fed it into a machine which formed the horsemeat around the bones, then they breaded and deepfried it.
I asked the division manager why he had led me back to this place, and he pointed at the steed's rump, the asshole puckering rythmically with terror. "We're just about to use that section, would you like a crack at it first?"
I quickly unzipped my pants and wasted no time jamming my erect into the stallion's defenseless asshole. I came just as the horse died. I was delighted. Popeyes definitely went the extra mile to make me a satisfied customer
- "Wow, I was a patron of /b/ for many months before I found the wonders of SA. To me /b/ has been like an abusive but loving internet father/little sister. When I finally managed to wrap my mind around what /b/ has done I felt many a shiver run down my spine. /b/ is a tainted and twisted primeval force that strikes with torrent of filth so brutal and terrible that nothing can escape its grasp unharmed. This man has lost his career and support from his fellow racists due to an angry and violent hive mind who's only purpose is to corrupt and infuriate outsiders. While I don't support either side because they both have done some fucked up shit, I stand in fear and awe at the power /b/ wields. I have always stood in awe at colossal forces. A tidal wave, a hurricane, a nuclear explosion, all destroy totally and nothing else because that is what they do. Like the fires of hell that brutally lash forth to ravish what we hold dear, this dramatic impact on the real world has left me shaken. What my mind keeps looping back to is the fact that /b/ has destroyed a public icon. A man who was living his dream and passionately pursuing it day by day was laid low because part of the internet felt like it. He wasn't taken down by use of traditional protest or a nonprofit organization that wanted publicity, but the manic hatred of Anonymous. /b/ is the raw heart of the internet, and it has claimed a victim. I can only stand in awe as /b/ laughs with glee at its blood smeared palms, not even fully comprehending the size of what it has wrought upon the world."
- "I just spent the last twenty minutes rubbing a twelve year old girl\'s bare chest.
\"How?\" you ask. Well apparently there are a select few contexts within which such an action is acceptable. For instance, if your niece has a hacking cough and your sister asks you to \"put some of this on her\" while she calls the doctor.
\"Putting some of this on hear\" meant using my bare hands to rub this vapor ointment shit all over her BARE NAKED CHEST. My heartbeat is still all erratic from it. I had a boner the size of manhattan the entire time. She\'s sleeping now and I guess she feels better because she stopped coughing.
Details: She\'s about 5 feet tall, has long brown hair, a cute face, a thin waist and long skinny legs. She\'s in jammies I think because although I\'m pretty shaken up right now I know I unbuttoned something before I went at it.
God I feel so great. I just rubbed my hands all over her FUCKING TITS, you guys. Well the puffy parts of her chest anyway. Her nipples got hard. I just about wept tears of joy.
I didn\'t do anything else because I\'m a coward and rubbing was enough. Plus it was legal and I didn\'t technically do anything wrong, so I\'m in the clear.
I\'d write more but I seriously have to go fap while the memory is fresh in my head."
[edit] What is /b/?
/b/ is defined by Urban Dictionary as...
- /b/ does not exist. Move along, sir.
- /b/ is the guy who tells the cripple ahead of him in line to hurry up.
- /b/ is first to get to the window to see the car accident outside.
- /b/ is the one who wrote your number on the mall's bathroom wall.
- /b/ is a failing student who makes passes at his young, attractive English teacher.
- /b/ is the guy loitering on Park Ave, the one that's always trying to sell you something.
- /b/ is the one who handed his jizz-drenched clothes to Good Will.
- /b/ is one who introduced you first to Goatse.
- /b/ is a hot incest dream that you'll try to forget for days.
- /b/ is the only one of your group of friends to be secure in his sexuality and say anything.
- /b/ is the guy without ED who still likes trying Viagra.
- /b/ is the best friend that tags along for your first date and cock-blocks throughout night. The decent girl you're trying to bag walks out on the date, */b/ laughs and takes you home when you're drunk, and you wake up to several hookers in your house who /b/ called for you.
- /b/ is a friend that constantly asks you to try mutual masturbation with him.
- /b/ is the guy who calls a suicide hotline to hit on the adviser
- /b/ is nuking the hard-drive next time someone knocks on his door.
- /b/ is the one who left a used condom outside the schoolyard.
- /b/ is the voice in your head that tells you that it doesn't matter if she's drunk.
- /b/ is the friend who constantly talks about your mom's rack.
- /b/ is the only one who understands what the hell you are saying.
- /b/ is someone who would pay a hooker to eat his ass, and only that.
- /b/ is the uncle who has touched you several times.
- /b/ is still recovering in the hospital, after trying something he saw in a hentai.
- /b/ is the friend who you when you're in the city and you see a homeless person he pulls what looks like a beer bottle out and gives it to the bum- but the bottle really has a mixture of semen and curdled ovaltine in it.
- /b/ is the friend who makes a Tupac joke when his friend's father got shot in the eye, and laughs at the joke.
- /b/tards are witty, intelligent, well adjusted members of society with Honda civics, a mortgage, cats that they don't light on fire and successful careers as lawyers, documentarians, and public officials. They have two lovely children and beautiful wives (because, you see, they are all heteronormative) that they met sitting next to on a flight to fiji.
However, nobody should ever listen to Urban Dictionary because they are a bunch of elitist self important niggers who like to make up words. The best way of describing /b/ is by comparing to ED, as follows...
| “ | /b/ is sorta like a blind drunk downs syndrome child wielding a chainsaw, whereas ED is like a omglazer guided lulbomb | „ |
| —DLB | ||
</pre> The only definitive thing that can be summed up about /b/, is that each and every single one of the users is an asshole, and damn proud of it.
[edit] Self Description
you have just entered the very heart, soul, and life force of the internet. this is a place beyond sanity, wild and untamed. there is nothing new here. "new" content on 4chan is not found; it is created from old material. every interesting, offensive, shocking, or debate inspiring topic you've seen elsewhere has been posted here ad infinitum. we are the reason for "not safe for work". we are the anonymous army. cross us and you will fail. anonymous is everywhere. you depend on us every day. we bag your groceries, we fix your computers. anonymous sees you before you see him. sitting at desks around the world right now is a nameless, faceless, unforgiving mafia composed of the best of the best.
We are 4channers. the people devoid of any type of soul or conscience. products of cynicism and apathy, spreading those very sentiments daily. anonymous is the hardened war veteran of the internet. he does not forgive or forget. we have seen things that defy explanations. heard stories that would make any god-fearing, law abiding citizen empty their stomach where they stand. we have experienced them multiple times and eagerly await their return.
4chan is a place of sheer genius and utter stupidity, and there is often a thin line dividing the two. here you will see a state of mind that exists in most human beings, but is rarely if ever shown. this is a place where taboos do not exist. 4chan cannot simply be regarded as a simple website or imageboard. it is so much more than code. 4chan is alive and constantly changing. this is a subculture, a self-governing sect of the world. rich in history and foundation. to become a 4chan user is to speak a different language. to leave behind any methods of conventional thinking you once knew.
There are things here that you will not understand and things you never will understand. if you cannot accept this then GTFO now. because there is no turning back.
This is 4chan, this is /b/
[edit] See Also
[edit] What Is Killing /b/?
[edit] What Is Curing /b/
[edit] The Great /b/ Civil War of April 15th
It started out as a friendly raid of Stickam, until it came to "gretchiie", the 15 year old camwhore. It started well, with tits being shown and videoed as usual. For major lulz, a /b/tard decided to post her address and school name. /b/ being /b/, someone went ahead and emailed the video to her school's Principal, 4 Vice-Principals and Secretary. This crossed the line for some fags on /b/, who said that it was out of line, and no lulz were had (which is a lie). While guro, scat and furry is acceptable on /b/, along with numerous habbo raids, Hal Turner raids (which are also purely for lulz) and many more; owning one camwhore for being..well..a camwhore is unacceptable, and she will, of course, kill herself instantly.
This excercise revealed up the large population of people from Habbo, Gaia and Newgrounds. They are truly the cancer that is killing /b/.
However, following the lulzy events of 4/16 (nevar 4get), the shitstorm over the camwhore gretchiie soon subsided, obscured by the shitstorm over whether posting shitting dick nipples, muddy dicks, and rule 34 of Seung-hui Cho shooting a kid in the head while fucking the corpse of another on the Myspaces of dead college students was moral.
[edit] Anonymous are Domestic Terrorists
According to a recent report by Fox 11 in Los Angeles, Anonymous is a cell of domestic terrorists that h4x MySpace accounts, mess with Online Children's Games, and blow up vans for EPIC LULZ which is a corruption of LOL.
[edit] /b/ Gallery
 teaches parents |
 discover new fapping ways suggested by /b/ |
 Jon as a btard. |
 Typical cock found at /b/ |
[edit] External Links
- Go directly to /b/
- AnoniB - Raid organisation for /b/
| History: |
Usenet - GNAA - Bantown - Alt.fans.karl-malden.nose - Grog - Alt.syntax.tactical - Alt.tasteless - Andy Kaufman - Kenneth Eng - GOBBLES - Snopes - 2 Years for Trolling - Borat - Goatse - PP4L
|
| Theory: | |
| Practice: | /b/ - Holocaust denial - Hello.jpg - Pain Series - Fox News - Ann Coulter - Weev - Blu Aardvark - Hep - Fail-chan - Fort Longcat/Patriotic Nigras - The Power 5 - Sparkling Wiggles - Spoiler - Nigger Manual - VoicEverything
|
| Targets: | Feltcho - Ashi Moto - Duke Otterland - Gay Drama 2006 - TheRedSkull - Violetkitty411 - YouTube - Warbears - Waco - Vtech - JiZZy: Pakistan - Wikipedia - Pakis - MySpace - LiveJournal - Facebook - Harry Potter - DeviantArt - Mediacrat - Tawneelynne - Tom Galloway - Bravesgirl5 - InkLink - My Immortal - Tara Gilesbie
|
Categories: 4chan | Abnormal Psych | Sites | Trolls
