Aboriginal
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Aboriginals are the niggers of Australia. They are typically called coons, boongs, abos or black cunts by your average Australian.
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[edit] History of Aboriginals
Over 9000 years ago, Zyrg militia (a pale-green skinned race of hostile bio-androids) from Zeta Reticuli descended into the Earth's atmosphere. Due to a floating point error in the crystalline-protein matrix of the mothership's bio-computer, the fleet's entry trajectory was miscalculated, hideously burning the skin of the invading race and partially melting the ship's superstructure. The gases released caused vivid hallucinations which the aliens interpreted as fact. This was the Dreamtime.
At least 100 years ago, English discoverers colonized Australia with the aim of turning into the world's most hostile and desolate prison, labor farm and pastry shop. Encountering pale-skinned people for the first time, the Zyrg race (in their poorly charred form) welcomed the newcomers to the beaches. The English greeted them with gifts of delicious bullets and later cyanide laced wheat.
After the small misunderstanding of killing most of the Aborigines was cleared up, the British achieved a mutually agreeable compromise of getting the remaining Aborigines drunk, moving them all into tiny, remote communities, and stealing their children to be raised in good Christian households.
During the late 1800s and early 1900s, Aborigines were slaughtered by the thousands to provide specimens of 'missing links' for museums in Europe and America. The Australian National Museum once classified aborigines as 'Australian animals' and gave instructions on plugging up the bullet holes (LULZ!) once the specimen had been shot for 'science'.
[edit] Abo Hobbies
Hobbies of the Abo's tend to include:
- sniffing petrol out of jerry cans
- raping their young
- waiting for the fortnightly dole payment to go buy more drugs and booze
- teaching their children how to also be the unwiped arseholes of society like the parents
- complaining about how white people stole their land like 200 years ago, fucking get over it. Like you were going to
do anything else but search for "bush tucker" (aboriginal food) on it.
[edit] Aboriginal Culture
The only two musical instruments used in Aboriginal music are sticks and the didgeridoo. Whereas civilized society's produced instruments of made of metals and complicated tubing, the Zyrg produced the Log, v.2. This large bong-like contraption emits a low groaning sound, much akin to what bagpipes would sound like on methadone. This is the one contribution the Zyrg have produced, advancing stick technology to levels previously unthought of. The didgeridoo was originally invented to mask the sound of their young screaming as the tribal elders ritually raped them and circumcised them with hot stones.
An aboriginal rave is called a corroboree, which usually involves a circle of elders sitting around a burning pyre of state-provided bedding and furniture, while younger Aboriginals paint themselves in automotive paint and huff gasoline fumes before dancing in a crazed fashion typically associated with Downs Syndrome or Cerebral Palsy.
[edit] Child Rape
In July 2007, The Australian Government sent federal police and motherfucking army units into Aboriginal communities to seize control after a recent report came to the shocking and unexpected conclusion that Aboriginals were getting drunk and raping their young.
The communities, mostly focussed around the Northern Territory (see: Middle of Fucking Nowhere) are torn between receiving free health and infrastructure, and having their precious beer, drugs and loli taken away from them.
The report was titled "Little Children Are Sacred", which is widely believed to be a typographical error, the correct title being "Little Children Are (fucking) Scared.". Which, let's face it, you would be too if a fat beardy negroid man with spraypaint on his breath was lying on top of you like some sort of hairy, stinking leviathan.
[edit] Aborigines and Commerce
Aboriginals represent approximately 80% of the total sales of Winfield Blue cigarettes in Australia. The other 20% are from residents of Werribee.
[edit] The Aboriginal Flag
The aboriginal flag is composed of horizontal black on red bars, with a yellow circle in the center. The black represents the charring of their interplanetary predecessors, as does the brilliant yellow sun which centers the Z. Reticuli star system. The red represents the lake of blood generated from the painful and medically unnecessary circumcision of their young.
[edit] Gas
Aboriginals love sniffing what Australian's call "petrol," and the civilized world calls "Gas." This is done by simply sniffing it directly from the can or someones fuel tank. A common occurrence in Australian life is waking up to find a dead nigger right next to your car. This is usually exclaimed by the Australian yelling "Crikey, there's a dead nigger!"
[edit] They were so happy, and we RUINED it!
Every single Australian child has had the miracle of the dreamtime rammed down their throat at school from an early age. Apparently abo's were happy squatting naked in their own filth for thousands of years. So why then does the modern aboriginal complain about his difficult and unfulfilling life of squatting naked in his own filth, in a government provided house, and a government provided tinnie of VB?
Here we come to grips with the very essence of modern aboriginal culture.
A stray dog does not expect you to feed it, but if you do, it comes to expect it and will complain if you don’t.
Seriously, that’s all there is. Aboriginals immediately spend their tax-payer funded dole money on cheap booze, cheap smokes and Cray supercomputers within one hour of having been issued with their fortnightly allotment. Woe betide them! They’ve now spent all their free white devil money on white devil comestibles! How will they now feed their millions of fly-blown, illiterate children?
How indeed? So more money is issued, which is immediately spent on booze, woe betide, how indeed, more money, etc.
There comes a time where keeping a human ant farm stops being fun, that time is when it starts costing hundreds of millions of dollars, and at the end of the day, the only change is the ring of VB stubbies around the naked man crouching in his own filth.
[edit] Lose a thong, mate?
"Nah, I found one"
Due to an aboriginals aforementioned pathological inability to spend money in a productive, life-enriching manner, they have become notorious scroungers. It's certainly not uncommon to encounter a specimen in the wild wearing no, odd or only one item of footwear. Further clothing is even more haphazard.
Government provided housing, in the two to three years before it collapses from neglect, tends to accumulate an unexplainable amount of urine-soaked mattresses and cushions. These are of course not for the children, who must sleep on the floor, but for the dozens of disease-ridden feral dogs aboriginals tend to collect. Note of course that aboriginals are unable to feed themselves, let alone a fucking dog pound.
Don't consider this an affront to their intellect however. To suggest such a lifestyle is moronic would be racist. And only white people are racist.
[edit] No Dole Check. Mate, Got a Smoke?
The silly boongs, niggers, blackies, and the assortment of other lulz-endicing names they're called are always mooching from the government and getting the dole. Which some idiot decided was a good thing to give no good faggots who can't get a fucking job. Usually because they're nigger-faced lazy pricks who wanna get drunk on goon, sniff petrol and rape young children and animals all day. The normal working people give old Johnny Howard shitloads of their cash to pay for roads, hospitals, and these niggers. Fuck you, centrelink!
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Aboriginal is part of a series of topics related to Black People. ☻ |
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