/b/
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
While /b/ is technically a sub-board of many chan imageboards, it is more commonly known as the asshole of the Internets. According to Fox News, they are also a secret underground network of evil hackers on steroids. It is populated by pedophiles, furries, otaku, wapanese, Azns, WoWers, otherkin, Trent Reznor, probably Will Smith and recently gentlemen. Also, God has been known to lurk /b/ for hopes of landing some hawt Baby Fuck.
Everyone who was finally permabanned from Something Awful or found Ogrish too tame call /b/ home. Pedophiles who have crawled out from not4chan come here to post and collect kiddie porn, but they usually do not last long, as posting CP is a permabannable offense. If you're having trouble finding a proxy for your trolling activities that's not banned from 4chan, it's because the pedos have already gotten them all permabanned by posting CP. But then, why would you want to; trolling /b/ is like pissing into an ocean of piss. They usually retreat to 420chan or 12chan after that, as posting CP is common practice on those sites' /b/s.
Posting shitting dick nipples in /b/, however, is NOT a bannable offense and is welcomed with open arms and fapping hands.
/b/'s cracked-out mods frequently sticky their own posts, attempting to create their own memes, sometimes spamming stickies until the entire board is just a place to view the mods' stickies. Whiny /b/tards have been begging Doug to unban snacks ever since (even though it was constant whining to moot that got him removed in the first place).
If a celebrity dies, plz to be going directly to /b/ for the traditional eulogizing of the still warm -perhaps still alive- body.
[edit] How has /b/ changed your life?
- We learned that you shouldn't be too serious about your copypasta. Especially when it comes to football.
- If you frequent Habbo Hotel, then you'll notice that creating a character with a suit and an afro is now grounds for an insta-ban. You have /b/ to thank for that.
- /b/tards were called in to troll Wowzaz_86's LiveJournal after he munched carpet on a sleeping girl.
- #4chan is populated almost exclusively by /b/tards. Everyone else is Doug.
- If you've become gay, a furry, or a run-of-the-mill sick fuck due to internets exposure, it is likely caused by a combination of LiveJournal and /b/. You may wish to bask in the healing rays of Quasidan's VAGINA or
to cleanse yourself of all internet sin.
- If you have AIDS, /b/ did it.
- You will be Dying Alone.
[edit] Sample Quotes from /b/
| —Anonymous |
| —Anonymous |
| —Anonymous |
| —Anonymous |
| —Anonymous |
| —Anonymous |
| —Anonymous |
[edit] What is /b/?
/b/ is defined by Urban Dictionary as...
- /b/ is the guy who tells the cripple ahead of him in line to hurry up.
- /b/ is first to get to the window to see the car accident outside.
- /b/ is the stranger your parents warned you not to talk to.
- /b/ is the one who wrote your number on the mall's bathroom wall.
- /b/ is a failing student who makes passes at his young, attractive English teacher.
- /b/ is the guy loitering on Park Ave, the one that's always trying to sell you something.
- /b/ is the one who handed his jizz-drenched clothes to Good Will.
- /b/ is one who first introduced you to Goatse.
- /b/ is a hot incest dream that you'll try to forget for days.
- /b/ is the only one of your group of friends to be secure in his sexuality and say anything.
- /b/ is the guy without ED who still likes trying Viagra.
- /b/ is that bat-shit crazy old man who sits on his porch and threatens to shoot the children that step on his lawn.
- /b/ is the best friend that tags along for your first date and cock-blocks throughout the night. The decent girl you're trying to bag walks out on the date. /b/ laughs and takes you home when you're drunk, and you wake up to several hookers in your house who /b/ called for you.
- /b/ is the kid that likes Inuyasha.
- /b/ is the guy who buys those mini binoculars at a sophisticated play and uses them to stare at the actresses boobs.
- /b/ is a friend that constantly asks you to try mutual masturbation with him.
- /b/ is the 10 second delay in which you contemplate walking back into the room you just accidentally saw your friends naked mom in, and asking her if you could be of assistance.
- /b/ is your penis that betrays you when he turns into a raging hard on, right as you are called to stand up in front of the class.
- /b/ is the guy who calls a suicide hotline to hit on the adviser
- /b/ is nuking the hard-drive next time someone knocks on his door.
- /b/ is the one who left a used condom outside the schoolyard.
- /b/ is the voice in your head that tells you that it doesn't matter if she's drunk.
- /b/ is the friend who constantly talks about your mom's rack.
- /b/ is the strung out drunk guy dancing and playing air guitar alone to the music at an outdoor concert.
- /b/ is the only one who understands what the hell you are saying.
- /b/ is someone who would pay a hooker to eat his ass, and only that.
- /b/ is the uncle who has touched you several times.
- /b/ is the homelss person at the bus stop who wraps his arm around you and starts a conversation
- /b/ is still recovering in the hospital after trying something he saw in a hentai.
- /b/ is the guy that puts an "I love dead babies" banner on the side of his car and drives past the protesters outside of clinics.
- /b/ is the friend who, when you're in the city and you see a homeless person, he pulls what looks like a beer bottle out and gives it to the bum- but the bottle really has a mixture of semen and curdled ovaltine in it.
- /b/ thinks he is smarter than you, but is often wrong.
- /b/ is the friend who makes a Tupac joke when his friend's father got shot in the eye, and laughs at the joke.
- /b/tards are witty, intelligent, well adjusted members of society with Honda civics, a mortgage, cats that they don't light on fire, and successful careers as lawyers, documentarians, and public officials. They have two lovely children and beautiful wives (because, you see, they are all heteronormative) that they met sitting next to on a flight to Fiji.
- /b/ is wonderful
However, nobody should ever listen to Urban Dictionary because they are a bunch of elitist, self-important niggers who like to make up words. The best way of describing /b/ is by comparing to ED, as follows...
| —DLB |
The only definitive thing that can be summed up about /b/, is that each and every single one of the users is an asshole, and damn proud of it.
[edit] Self Description
You have just entered the very heart, soul and life force of the internet. This is a place beyond sanity; wild and untamed. There is nothing new here. "New" content on 4chan is not found; it is created from old material. Every interesting, offensive, shocking or debate-inspiring topic you've seen elsewhere has been posted here, ad infinitum. We are the reason for "not safe for work". We are the Anonymous Army. Cross us and you will fail. Anonymous is everywhere. You depend on us every day. We bag your groceries, we fix your computers. Anonymous sees you before you see him. Sitting at desks around the world right now is a nameless, faceless, unforgiving mafia composed of the best of the best, the worst of the worst and most people inbetween.
We are 4channers. The people devoid of any type of soul or conscience; we are products of cynicism and apathy, and we spread those very sentiments daily. Anonymous is the hardened war veteran of the Internet. He does not forgive, nor forget. We have seen things that defy explanations. We have heard stories that would make any God-fearing, law-abiding citizen empty their stomach where they stand. We have experienced them multiple times and eagerly await their return.
4chan is a place of sheer genius and utter stupidity, and there is often a thin line dividing the two. Here you will see a state of mind that exists in most human beings, but is rarely, if ever, shown. This is a place where taboos do not exist. 4chan cannot simply be regarded as a simple website or imageboard. It is so much more than code. 4chan is alive and constantly changing. This is a subculture, a self-governing sect of the world, rich in history and foundation. To become a 4chan user is to speak a different language, and to leave behind any methods of conventional thinking you once knew.
There are things here that you will not understand and things you never will understand. If you cannot accept this, then you should leave now, because there is no turning back.
This is 4chan, this is /b/.
[edit] DAS TROLLPARADIES
Dammit Moot.
[edit] Old /b/ Day
Moar at Old /b/ Day!
[edit] In America
On /b/ on 7/4/08, to commemorate America's Independence Day, all sentences that do not contain the word America in them have IN AMERICA! added to the end of them IN AMERICA!
[edit] 9/10/08 NEVAR FORGET
[edit] Friday the 13th - LOLSCRIPTS
On June 13th, 2008, 4chan came one step closer to the final solution. A script kiddie decided to post a script for others to follow its instructions and save it in to Notepad. When the script runs, it posts the guide in a thread on /b/. The final result was a barrage of lulz and resulted in the newfags that fell for it and didn't know how to stop it getting b&. This cycle would reoccur several times thereafter, ensuring that half the posts on /b/ at any given time are spam.
[edit] 9 Debbie Lane Brockport New York
On the morning of August 29, nearly every post on 4chan's /b/ was "hey guys, add my AIM: Moderntopia, also come molotov my house at 9 Debbie Lane,Brockport, New York-who else has a racecar bed? I do!!" or "I am spamming your shitty website and there's nothing you can do about it faggots, if you're man enough come fucking get me-9 Debbie Lane Brockport New York"
All there is to say is LOL SKIDDIES.
[edit] Second Civil War
It has been noted that the Second Civil War of the US was flamantly discussed by /b/ users starting on Friday October 10th, 2008 and continues to be debated on from time to time in new threads.
[edit] /b/ Day 2008
On October 26, 2008, a bunch of Script kiddies caused /b/ to crash. Refugees began flooding /x/, /d/, /v/ and /n/, bringing the cancer with them. The /k/omrades began a counter-offensive, striking the /b/tards out of /x/. /d/ was left to rot. Refugees from the affected boards streamed into /a/. As of the 27th, the cancer is once again contained to the smoking shithole known as /b/.
[edit] The 100M Fail
Most of Sunday 30 Nov was spent by /b/tards trying and epicly failing to "Get" 100,000,000 (100M). Moot and the oldfags , as usual, moaned about how failboating /b/ had become, and how GETs now meant nothing. This was promptly ignored. 100M ended up being the largest failget in history. It was taken by the furries, closely followed by the britfags.
[edit] The Day /b/ Died
See also: Operation Antfuck & RAIDCHAN
On December 13, 2008 /b/ came to a grinding halt after hundreds of newfags deserted the sinking ship as it was getting walloped with a tsumani of spam chemo from RAIDCHAN including the familiar KORAX > YOU and some KAYLA > YOU for good measure. For a few glorious hours, /b/ was almost as good as it never was; /b/tards didn't have to bump their own posts and threads didn't 404 in 30 seconds.
[edit] The Third Civil War, 10/11 January '09
On the 10 Janurary, every other thread on /b/ was something to do with Boxxy. Newfags were hailing her as 'The Queen Of /b/. Oldfags Bawwed, and declared war on the boxxy supporters. Due to the mods failing to take action against the cancerspam it was decided that an hero by DDoS was the only effective option. Despite over 9000 camwhores joining in the campaign against Boxxy by providing an epic number of tits, DDoS was called for at 00:00 GMT, 11 January '09. Shortly after mods blocked all posts to the site claiming img.4chan.org down for maintenance, posting across all boards is temporarily disabled before the entire site 404'd, when actually Anonymous pwn'd the servers. Following the Civil War, saying 'Boxxy' causes insta-ban.
[edit] /b/ Gallery
| /b/ Gallery | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
[edit] See Also
- 4chan
- 7chan
- /b/-day
- klik-BOMF
- Lulzcore - the music of /b/
- Moot
- Snacks
- The Great Re/b/oot
- SlashAIMslash
- The xchan effect
[edit] External Links
- Go directly to /b/
- AnoniB - Raid organization for /b/
 |
/b/ is part of a series on Trolls. |
|
Categories: Trolls | 4chan | Abnormal Psych | Sites
