Church of the SubGenius

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

"Bob": Not a long-haired hippy like that Jesus guy.

The Church of the SubGenius is a murderously unfunny cult at the center of a plot in which fat polyamorous geeks may gangrape the innocent in a world-shattering orgy known as X-Day.

They will fuck you if you cannot take a joke.

[edit] Tenets of SubGenius Propaganda

Welcome to X-Day. Finally.

The messianic figure of the Church of the SubGenius is one J.R. "Bob" Dobbs (not to be confused with the fake canadian assclown who calls himself Bob Dobbs to scam money from the very stupid). J.R. "Bob" Dobbs was once a humble door-to-door salesman. Always broke, he was encouraged by his close friend, L. Ron Hubbard, to start a religion. As L. Ron always said, "Dobbs, they may be pink but their money is green." Founded by "Bob" in 1953, the Church grew like a weed and today holds tens of millions of whining, talentless art-fags under its sway. The Church has even been known to disseminate fake anti-SubGenius propaganda to arouse public interest.

SubGenii live in constant fear of being smote by a malevolent God from outer space known as JHVH 1, or Yahweh. In order to rescue their souls from Jehovah 1's Stark Fist of Removal, members of the Church must mail $30 to a P.O. Box in Dallas to become Ordained Ministers of the Church of the SubGenius. Salvation is reportedly guaranteed or triple their money back.

All SubGenii are required to listen to Devo and to wear silly hats.

Fundamental to the operation and well-being of a SubGenius body is an intangible substance known as "Slack". Slack exists on a continuum with Pink at the opposite end.

[edit] Where to find a SubGenius

A large number of SubGenii are known to hang out at the official IRC channel #subgenius, where they dream of the chance that they can strip naked and masturbate on webcam with a real live girl (or damned near anything else!) watching.

There is reportedly a constant barrage of BullDada on alt.slack and alt.binaries.slack, but no one has yet returned sane after witnessing it.

If you do not value your ears, you might try The Hour of Slack radio program.

To find them IRL, try their parents' basement.

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