Woman
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A woman is the useless skin around the vagina, amirite?
Though debated otherwise by some feminists, women are NOT people. They are far less intelligent than a man, and are genetically inferior. Men are entitled to pussy, and just because it is attached to a woman, doesn't mean they have rightful control of it. Plus, it is scientific fact that women are always asking for it. A man's greatest attribute is his physical strength, which, he uses against women because it is the only way they'll learn. Women also don't make decisions as well as men do because they are on their period almost all the time.
Some people say women invented sex, or rather, prostitution, which may sound good, but it is infact the second highest producer of AIDS, beaten only by Africa.
According to Dr. Wolfenstein of the Blantzenberg Institute, "women equal holes (And they are stupid)."
Contents |
Correct Viewpoint
| — Arguecat3, Example of an acceptable woman. |
The viewpoint of most Christians and other normal people who recognize the obvious is that God created "man" in his own image, meaning, with a Dick. Man was lonely, so God created something for him to put his cock in. And (of course) God created something with a womb to make babies. Thus, everyone called the female race "womb-man" because that is their purpose: a womb for babies, and a pleasure hole for the man. They do, of course, have other uses, which range from washing the dishes to drying the dishes to watching life-affirming television. The other major way to use a woman is to rid her vile presence from the planet, in honor of Marc Lépine.
If you do decide to begin a relationship with a woman but are actually using her for a moist place to insert your cock, she will start leading you to insanity and force you to become EXTREMELYemo.
On the other hand if you want to piss a (hot) woman off then the best way to do this is simply just ignore her. Even though a hot woman would never fuck you cuz you're a looser, she still gets mad because she thinks she deserves the attention because she's hot. Women hate it when guys ignore them.
A Real Man's Guide to the Inferior Species
Maintaining Your Woman
Prevent their annoying response, as well as techniques to make your attempt of kindness flow flawlessly. Being women however, they will soon forget what you teach them.
Fights with women
Women will often have verbal fights with men, so that they can either feel powerful, try to deny a man his rightful use of her vagina or simply because they like drama, losing battles and being revenge-fucked. An interesting article goes on about the many ways men might try to fight back with women, but we all know the proper way is to tell her once, and if that doesn't work, tell her twice, and then send her to the kitchen with two black eyes to make you a fucking sammwich.
Obtaining a Woman
The fact that you read this probably means that you have never had sex with a woman. Ever. Here is what you have to do:
- Looks are everything when it comes to women. If you don't look like an androgynous celebrity that's 30 pounds underweight, then... well, you're not getting a woman. Ever.
- If you think women give two shits about personality, you clearly haven't been around very many females. Lose some weight, fatty. Take up anorexia and they might just accept you.
- Get at least a basic sense of fashion and hygiene.
- Women will trade anything for chocolate. The down side is, chocolate will eventually make them fat
- Women like drama, and to get one you might have to pretend like you do too. Like, actually be able to express your emotions, you retard (yes, I know. It's hard. Hang in there, Fabio).
- Women have to be convinced that you are a natural leader before they are willing to have sex with you. Since you most likely aren't, you will have to pretend that you are for at least the 20 first dates, or she will choose someone with actual muscles and actual brains. Thankfully, there is help available.
- Don't be afraid to show your power over her by smacking her around when she steps out of line.
- Dominate her physically. Women (mostly low-self-esteemed-women) like the idea that a guy can't resist getting a little rough with them.
- Also, money. Lots and lots of your hard earned money might as well be set aflame because the money grubbing leeches will require all of it just so you can use their vaginas for a place to put your penis.
- Remember, women don't like anal sex. They love it.
Normal Behaviors of women
Once you have found a suitable piece of property, you will need to know about certain attributes they possess, in order to best keep your bitch in line.
- Women may look inside your wallet or any other place they suspect you may have money. You have to nip this in the bud and tell her if you catch her doing this, you will donkey punch her.
- Women may want to watch lifetime channel. BEWARE! If you let them watch this, they may think they're a victim! Dispose of this channel by any means necessary.
- Women are like children and need structure and discipline. They will try to get away with as much as they can, and it is your job to make sure they have structure in their lives.
- Women are natural freeloaders. Get used to never being appreciated for anything.
- Women also get hyperjealous of anything that brings a man pleasure that is not them. For this reason, they are a leading cause of homosexuality.
Dangers
There are numerous dangers inherent in any dealings with a woman. Apart from the usual dangers of encountering someone who is batshit crazy, the following perils have been observed:
- Under no circumstances do what a woman tells you she wants you to. You have to learn to sense what she wants , not what she says she wants.
- Women lack proper verbal communication skills.
- Many women are Attention Whores, who come with additional dangers.
- Though they don't have souls, they have an inner eye that can see into yours. Once that happens you may be able to fuck but you won't enjoy it. And she'll laugh.
- Women can explode on contact with an incorrectly configured Toilet Seat.
- Through a combination of mind control, drugging and boobies, many women attempt to coerce men into a form of servitude known as the "Friend Zone" or worse; marriage. Marriage is to be avoided at all costs for all involved, as it has all the drawbacks of a girlfriend only with less interesting or no sex.
- Said mind control will permanently turn you into a faggot in no time.
- Women will call the cops if you prove them right too much. To fix this, aim for the back of the head. Cops can't see bruises if they're covered by hair!
- Women are all experts of some type of emotional wizardry, beware.
- Under any circumstances, do not let a woman drive.
- Never ever let them leave the kitchen!
- Do not let them read Cosmopolitan.
- Do not feed your woman as this will cause her to become fat. Women do not need to eat anyway because they obtain sustenance from attention.
- Women suck at video games.
- Crying is a weapon the women commonly use, never give in.
Girls
Fact: There are no girls on the internets.[no citation needed]
There are no girls on the internet no matter what. That girl who wrote your name on her tits for you. Its a dude who can photoshop your name on a pair of tits he found on Google images. Congratulations you sent a picture of your dick to that man.
Girls Bathrooms
Whats up with girls bathrooms? Check it out!
Things to know:
- Girls bathrooms are big.
- Girls bathrooms are clean.
- Girls bathrooms are the opposite of your dick.
- 75% of girl's vaginas are bleeding at any given time.
- Most girls that spends time together have their period at around the same time. It's just easier to share pads if they go in a herd.
Women like to go in the bathrooms in packs so they can shit at the same time. They then like to talk about teh juicy cock and serious issues . All while releasing their hot steamy piss from their vagina. No lie.
Achievements of Women
The most important thing that a woman has ever done to advance society has been the drawing of the Biting Pear of Salamanca art in the LOL WUT meme. Yes, it was drawn by a woman! That'll make you think twice before using it again... overused pic is indeed overused, in any case.
Also, the idea of a women learning how to give oral sex was a phenomenon due to their inferior brains and in most cases(i would hope), a lack of a penis.
Quotes
| —Frank Zappa, telling it like it is. |
| —John Lennon, being ironic |
| — The entire Internets, flattery will get you nowhere. |
| —Stuttering Craig |
Videos
A Documentary of the Stupidity of Women
Women Will Make You Facepalm
How It's Done
Showing Dominance
Why Women Shouldn't Be Allowed Behind The Wheel
Estonians Understand How To Deal With The Feminine Threat
Gallery
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Delicious Copypasta
I have come to see a link between the rise of women, their increasing rights, involvement in politics, and the feminist movement and the increasing stupidity, perversion of culture, and all around degeneracy in the west. These irrational, pseudo-sentient life forms have done naught but sap the life out of intellectual and powerful men over the last hundred years or so, and we men have made the mistake of brainwashing ourselves to believe that these succubi are actual people. Their whole kind are nothing more than tools for procreation, unfit to live without a patron's approval.
Allow me to make my case.
Women are naturally cowards. I myself have met women who have admitted to me that they and their whole kind are born cowards. They are timid creatures whose emotions overpower their logic and rationality, and they are therefore unfit to lead. Their extreme emotions are triggered by slight and unimportant things, and with these worries they hinder the progress of man. Remember the last time your girlfriend got angry at you for that thing that to this day you have no idea what she was talking about? Imagine that ruling a society or a country. Imagine that fight being with another world leader. Imagine an irrational war because of the errancy of women. I'm glad Hillary lost so that America may live a few years longer.
Mankind used to be male dominated, and with good reason. Women knew their place, and men kept them there. Now, let's look at the achievements in this long period of history. We have such political achievements as the republic and the democracy. We then have technological advancements such as irrigation, the hanging gardens, the printing press, electricity, factories, cars, computers, and now even the internet. We also have such historical achievements like the Neolithic Revolution, the American and French revolutions. We have the great thinkers of history, like Socrates, Aristotle, Boethius, Bacon, Marx, Nietzsche, Borh, and, of course, Einstein. Who do you think was the most intelligent person in history, who could change the way you think, whose infinite wisdom puts this person on level with the gods? He was a man, wasn't he? Back when we were a male dominated society, men did not even love women. Most of the great men of history were gay, only having wives for children. Shakespeare was gay, Da Vinci was gay [lol, bullshit], to name a few. Men can survive without women (for lack of children, granted). Take modern gay people for example. Why do you think they are so happy? With gene science as it is now, we can make humans effectively enough without women soon enough. Jesus Christ.
Now, let's look at more modern times, shall we? In 1920, women gained the right to vote. Coincidentally, we have not had a good president since the nineteenth century. In 1966, we had a cultural revolution. Great and all, but that's when police and the government became the bad guys. Degeneracy ran wild and became commonly accepted as culture. Then, come 1977, the Feminist movement. That was the death knell of the west as it was formerly known. Since these cum dumpsters decided they were people too, the west has become one grand showing of Dumb and Dumber. We now have what has to be the stupidest couple of generations since the Salem witch trials. We no longer have great philosophers; we no longer have great authors. We have become a nation glued to MTV and teenNICK. Remember G4TV? That's pretty much all of America at this point. And for God's sake, just look at our teenagers. What have we done to let our youth become so terribly corrupted and utterly stupid? To quote Chuck Palahniuk, "We are a generation of men raised by women". We have indeed let ourselves be led astray by the foolish little minds of women.
The fact that what I say, by modern standards, is sexist and therefore bad is further proof that we have been brainwashed. Women have convinced us that they have sufficient mental capacity to feel real emotion and can therefore be "hurt" and that we need to protect them. This is a lie.
We have today naught but broken shards of society, the ghost of the greatness that humankind once was. TL;DR
See Also
External Links
- A well-thought, open minded essay on women by the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer
- A great feminist website
- Exclusive Photo: Woman Driver Hits Deer, doesn't Notice
- Further proof that women can't do anything right (like play crappy jazz fusion) and lonely youtubers will love them regardless
- Typical TV Show: Wimps Sorry For Controlling Wife's
- Never trust a woman
- Never trust a Thai woman
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