Hi all Mac here. Those of you who have been around might remember that I am very found of Voltaire. And for those of you who haven't been around too long: I am very fond of Voltaire.
Lets get something straight. I like the 17th century writer and all, but I REALLY like our very own tatooed, smart and Sassy SG Voltaire. We used to banter back and forth all of the time, cooing to each other, but time passed and nothing ever came about. So I am making a public argument that VOLTAIRE SHOULD TOTALLY MAKE OUT WITH ME.
Lets go through the reasons shall we?
1. I am a pretty good kisser. I earened a merit badge in kissing in cub scouts. Even though, years later I found out there apparently isn't any sort of merit badge for that in cub scouts, my den leader Mr. Stockton thought I deserved one.
2. I shower once every other day. And shit I know plenty of homeless people who don't shower at all!
3. Those sores aren't herpes I swear.
4. Voltaire that time when I was really drunk and stood outside your window naked and crying late at night...Yeah, I never did that. Even if you have a security tape.
5. I am a suave induvidul. Dude NO ONE is as smooth as the Mac. Because I shave with Nair baby. Yeah, you just think about that.
6. If we made out, I would not try to like put my hands up your skirt, or touch your bosom. And if I did, I would just start quoting biblical verses like my mother always did.
7. If we did make out and you 'wanted more', I would actually use my perscription pump that the doctors gave me. You know the ones who rebuilt my crotch after the "Bowling accident".
8. I am rad. And mabye Awsome.
9. Boyfriends are just another way society is trying to tear you down. Be strong and independent! Show the world that your a woman who can make her own desicions...By making out with me!
10. I don't care that your like super tall and Im frekeshly short. Legolas and Gimli are the best of friends in J.RR Tolkins The Lord of the Rings. A spellbinding tale of magic, and fantsy filled with adventure and tresure beyond our wildest imagination. With dareing feats of bravery and terrible horrors that lie within the soul, it is a story that will delight families and make nations rise up in cheering adoration...Just like if you were to make out with me.
Voltaire, obviously you have to make out with Mac now. But if that all goes sour, can I be the back up bitch? I ended up getting your cold because I'm hardcore like that. that should win me some points, right?
MacBastard
North Hollywood, CA
OLD SKOOL
NOV 04, 2003 06:48 PM