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Belladonnaroses
'Can you see
Frozen to myself
I get nobody on my side
Surely that ain't right'
It's almost daylight on the third day when they check into the hotel. It isn't much and Spike tells her that it isn't for long, just until he calls in a favor about an apartment. She just nods and goes to take a shower.
Much later that night, when she lies in the crook of his arms, his fingers tracing patterns on her back through her thin cotton tank top, he begins to ask her the questions, What happenned to Angel, love?
Buffy stiffened then shot back, What happenned to Drusilla?
Spike drew in an unneeded breath and for a moment she thought that he was going to yell at her, or drop the subject, or turn away. But he didn't, She headed towards Brazil.
Oh.
They sit in silence for a while longer and the only interruption is they steady beat of her heart. His chest moves up and down on ingrained reflex. She kisses him on his chest, and then in the hollow of his neck. Her lips pass across his eyelids and his cheek and his mouth. The kisses are tender and full of sadness. Close your eyes, she thinks the words and her her eyes sting. She pulls away from him and her hands are trembling, I killed him.
He doesn't answer. He knows that there's nothing he can tell her to make that alright. To take away that scar. He just holds her as she shakes in his arms. He's torn between feeling happy at his Sire's demise, and sympathy for the young woman in his arms. She nuzzles him and then, without warning, she begins to speak, There was nothing else to do. He's already opened the portal and - and I couldn't just turn my back on the world for hin. Especially since he'd caused it. So, so I did it. I - I told him to close his eyes. I kissed him. I told him, I told him that I loved him. And then I ran the sword through him.
She paused and he tightened his hold on her, silently encouraging her to talk. The silence stretched on, seconds passing that seemed lioke hours. Finally, she began again, I think the worst part was the way he looked at me, y'know? His eyes ... And-and he didn't even know.
And then she was in his arms and the tears were falling and stainingg the smooth skin of his chest and slipping into her mouth. She hears him whispering her name and his hand strokes the back of her head. She begins to calm down and he pulls her up to him, kissing her on the mouth, his tongue brushing gently against her lips.
She melts into him, feeling the guilt lifting, feeling herself get lost in the paths of his body, in the way his fingers trace the nerves of her skin, of the way he whispers things to her that got lost in the shadows of the dinky hotel room.
His mouth was on her breasts and her stomach and her sex and she was melting into him. Each brush of his tongue sent her spiralling into a dozen different pieces. His cold hands were fire and when he finally entered her she could have sobbed from the pleasure that coursed through her. They whispered sweet nothing's into each other's skin, and she felt herself slipping way from the world once more, losing herself in the depths of Spike's eyes. She was kissing the faded bite marks on his neck, kissing his mouth and his hair and his chest. Her nails were scratching his chest and he was moaning her name, shuddering against her and as he quickened their pace she felt herself burst apart into a million sparkles, a million different stars that filled her eyes and a fiery heat that melted her core. She screamed out his name and he answered.
'Surely that ain't right'
Somehow I don't think that how you planned for that to end.
He smiles at her, and it's the first real smile eitheir one of them has had since May. She can't help but smile back.
Not quite what I was planning, love, but I'm not one to complain. His voice sent shudders down her body, and she remembered how it had been only an hour ago, soft and hard all at once. Buffy nods her silent agreement and continues to trace patterns on his stomach with her fingers. His hand brushes the hair away from her face and drapes it over her neck. Buffy sighs and presses a quick kiss to the palm of his hand, I never really thought it would be like this.
Never thought what would be like this, pet?
She moved her hands from his stomach long enough to make air quotations, The Morning After.
He laughs, Well I've definitly had some where I was happy to have my parts still intact.
Buffy blushed a little and he let out another chuckle, his fingers tracing a delicate path up and down her spine.
They sit there for a while longer, each enjoying the other's silence, each reflecting on how far they've come together, and what they left behind. Buffy sighed and laid next him, pulling the sheets tighter around them.
I need to go out, pet.
The words hit her like a ton of bricks and she doesn't answer, she just continues to play with the fine hair at the back of his neck. He sighs and then pulls away from the bed and gets dressed slowly. She watches him without really seeing him. He moves back to the bed and presses a kiss to her forehead. Her hands wrap around his neck and she pulls him closer, she whispers a plea against his mouth fro him to stay.
Spike sighed and shook his head, I have to eat, pet.
She turns away from him then, her bare shoulders squaring, But you don't have to kill.
He considers that for a moment while he watches her. Eventually she turns back to face him and her face brooks no argument. He knows that either he gives in on this or he leaves. At the thought of leaving her a familiar pang shoots through him and growl builds low in her throat. He was back on top of her before either could register what was happenning. His hands pinned her wrists to the mattress while he kissed her savagely. Finally he pulled away, letting her come up for air. He nods his assent at her and she managed a small smile.
He was gone before she could say anything else.
'How can it feel this wrong
From this moment, how can it feel this wrong'
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