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Retard

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

A term of endearment for the mentally handicapped or stupid. It is commonly believed that retards are created by fucktarded sperm. Though plausible, this is the cause of furries, not retards. However, a proven, common cause of retardism is when your mother jacks off your father and sits on him at the last moment thus conceiving your retarded ass. Check science. There are some new developments that indicate that some forms of autism may be linked to early television viewing. A common tell-tail sign of being a retard is biting your left shoulder while drooling, having resemblance to cabbage or commonly being a fan of rap.

w..w...wAERDEZ DA LOOOLZ?!1?!

Alternative theories suggest that retardism is also caused by punching pregnant women in the stomach, or when a man goes to insert his penis but misses and jams it into her stomach, releasing gastric juices into the midst of her innards - including the baby basket.

Could someone tell the blonde holding this that it is not a dildo...

[edit] Detection

Finding retards is very simple. All you have to do is find someone who is saying retarded shit, and then you respond with "O rly?". The typical retards response will be huh? or "what's orly?" Female retards will confuse O rly? for Orally and will either be offended or proceed with the perceived command.

People with down syndrome also look a certain way. Here are some people with down syndrome and you can see how they look.

Here is how a down syndrome person looks when young

Here is how a down syndrome person looks when old

Down syndrome people also do disgusting sex poses

[edit] The Place of the Retard

Retards are currently ranked 2nd strongest vegetable, just ahead of the Onion. The strongest vegetable on the Internets remains the potato, prolly something to do with Dan Quayle and spellcheck.

The easiest way to diagnose retardation is to determine if the subject habitually posts painfully old and unfunny jokes like the "Cup of STFU or, well, this one.

Proof:

jimmy cain got a big ass head

[edit] Retard strength is no myth

This retard has a job to do.

So the other day this wacked-out 13 year old boy went ape-shit on his school bus and started beating the shit out of the bus driver and a few other people with a broomstick.

As the Boston Herald described it:

A 13-year-old boy went on a rampage on a Boston school bus yesterday afternoon, attacking a bus driver and bus monitor with a broomstick as terrified bystanders frantically called 911 for help, witnesses said.

:The alleged assault by the McKinley School student happened as the bus prepared to make a stop in Roxbury. The student got off the bus, then reboarded and attacked the driver and monitor again before fleeing the scene before police arrived, witnesses said.

So I guess the po-po eventually caught up with the young assailant and threw his ass in lock-up where he belongs. Only, come to find out, this wacked-out 13-year-old boy was actually a 10-year-old fourth-grader with "special needs" who just so happens to weigh 170 pounds.

Again, the Boston Herald:

The grandmother of a 10-year-old fourth-grader is outraged that the special needs boy was locked up overnight for assaulting a bus full of drivers and students instead of being taken for help. ...

Police believed the boy was 13 when they picked him up, the grandmother said. Speaking on the condition neither she nor her grandson be identified, she said her grandson is subject to mood swings and has been on and off numerous medications. He was arrested two years ago, at age 8, after a similar outburst on a school bus.

This calls to mind a similar incident in Chicago where they actually zapped the tard with a taser and it ended up dying. In either case, I don't know that you can fault the police. I was once kicked in the nuts by a tard in a high school soccer accident and was damn near killed.

By the way, Hercules in Greek Mythology wasn't magical, he was retarded. Also unlike the fake Kevin Sorbo version, the real one was not just strong, but to quote Kevin Smith, "sex nuts and retard strong." He was also bisexual, raping men and young boys like all Greeks did.

[edit] Variations

This is the result of a fatal hit by the ugly truck

Because retard is probably the default insult on the Internets, it has spawned a variety of more specialized variants:

Leftard: used by "compassionate conservatives" to describe their opposition. In this instance, "compassionate" means "still uses words like 'retarded' and 'colored' in public."
Rightard: used by Leftards as a lame response to the above, which of course is lame to begin with.
Fucktard: a more intense version of retard, with an over-all connotation of "a waste of skin".
Hotard: a retarded slut.
Mustard: a severe case or retardness, who makes as much sense as its epithet.
/b/tard: someone who frequents 4chan's /b/ board. Unlike most -tards, they wear this moniker as a badge of pride.
DILDOlover: someone who likes the cock in the ass, basically this one guy lacking in original content.

[edit] Retard Manual

See Disabled Village Children

[edit] The #Autism Raid

On January 22nd around noonish, several members of ED complained of boredom. Djbb suggested raiding an IRC channel for parents of autistic children, and after much lulz, a suitable server+channel was found. After many memes were spouted, Chimi took it to the next level by Last Measureing the channel before everyone was b&. ED members taking part were Airdoo0 acting as jew, chimi, a5h-x, subseven, dl, james and jb. Lol intarnets heroism http://www.itsnofashion.com/autism.txt

[edit] Entire log

WTF is this shit, TLDR

[Click to Collapse Log] [Click to Expand Log] 0

2:31:37) * You are now talking on #autism
(12:31:37) * Topic for #autism is Support/Chat/Info for those living with Autism
(12:31:37) * Topic for #autism set by CStar at Sun Jan 21 16:58:51 2007
(12:31:48) (@Bambi) well jew that can happen with brothers and sisters  without a dx of autism
(12:32:04) (@Bambi) nice to meet you djbb
(12:32:11) (jew) well, my mother says its because he has autism
(12:32:12) (chimi) hellow
(12:32:21) (jew) and i want to know how to not offend him
(12:32:26) (djbb) My child goes to a school with over 9000 students, and during gym class the other kids block him from using the pool
(12:32:31) (djbb) They tell him its "closed due to AIDs"
(12:32:40) (chimi) :
(12:32:42) (chimi) :(
(12:32:45) (chimi) i am pregnant
(12:32:49) (jew) djbb, that does not sound very nice of them
(12:33:02) (A5h-X) ricky thinks he has aids
(12:33:13) (djbb) I'm sorry to hear that :(
(12:33:16) (A5h-X) that's why the other  kids point and laugh
(12:33:31) (djbb) Children can be so cruel
(12:33:34) (@Darkman) kids can be sooo cruel
(12:34:14) (chimi) yes
(12:34:15) (chimi) they can
(12:34:22) (chimi) i am scared for my baby
(12:34:28) * Darkman is a former U.S. Marine from South Texas . Married for almost 21 years to Tichimon. We have 2 sons. Dominic who is 14. Plays his trumpet in the 8th grade honors band. And Orion, my autistic young man. He is 16, and plays the trombone for the Mighty Brahma Marching Band. (yes the band that sounded better than Ashley Simpson in the 2005 Orange Bowl).
(12:34:38) (@Bambi) tom used to get laughed at and picked on  at school ... i then homeschooled but that  isnt a easy thing to do by anymeans
(12:34:51) (@Bambi) for those that havent met me this is me
(12:34:52) * Bambi <------has a son 19 with pdd/nos...ocd...seizures... we are from midwest..usa
(12:35:01) (subseven) my boy tries to use the library...and they block him and chant "desu desu desu"....it's not nice at all
(12:35:25) (@Bambi) why are you scared for your baby  chimi  ....when is it due to be born 
(12:35:37) (subseven) i don't know what this desu means...but it doesn't sound good
(12:35:37) (jew) sub, have you tried talking to the parents of the children
(12:35:48) (subseven) yes i have
(12:35:48) (chimi) i'm 8 months
(12:36:02) (A5h-X) i try to tell him it's because he makes groaning noises and he has super-human strength
(12:36:02) (subseven) i've gotten nowhere
(12:36:08) (chimi) my doctor told me that i am going to have some complications
(12:36:15) (chimi) and that i should be prepared
(12:36:18) (subseven) one of them asked me if i liked mudkips
(12:36:26) (@Darkman) yes prepare yourself
(12:36:29) (@Darkman) but
(12:36:36) (jew) what is a mudkips?
(12:36:39) (subseven) wth kind of question is that?
(12:36:40) (A5h-X) ricky likes mudkips!
(12:36:48) (@Darkman) also prepare to receive the best gift anyone can recieve
(12:36:52) (jew) what is mudkips?
(12:36:52) (subseven) i don't even know what a mudkip is
(12:37:02) (subseven) but i'm sure i don't liek it
(12:37:04) (chimi) i am just afraid of my baby not being able to live a normal life
(12:37:15) (@Bambi) whats normal ?
(12:37:19) (chimi) well
(12:37:25) (chimi) i do not want him being made fun of
(12:37:33) (chimi) and being banned from the pool
(12:37:34) (@Bambi) why does he think there will be  complications ?
(12:37:41) (A5h-X) he is particualrly fond a of a "mudkipz" rucksack
(12:37:42) (jew) i used to get made fun of for my hearing aids
(12:37:58) (chimi) well the "complications" from from me
(12:38:09) (chimi) i am very small and also diabetic
(12:38:17) (chimi) there is a chance i may have to go in early
(12:38:20) * Nets (~mail@147.126.10.251) has joined #Autism
(12:38:21) (@Darkman) no kiddin, what's normal?
(12:38:22) (@Bambi) have you talked to the school about it djbb
(12:38:25) (@Darkman) hi nets
(12:38:28) (@Bambi) hi Nets
(12:38:38) (jew) hi nets
(12:38:45) (A5h-X) ricky keeps rocking back and forth and groaning "ah herd u liek mupkipz"
(12:38:48) (chimi) helloooooooooooooooow
(12:39:04) (subseven) i just think maybe it's connected somehow....you know....the desu and the mudkips
(12:39:05) * JB (Kev@ACC3ED74.ipt.aol.com) has joined #autism
(12:39:12) (jew) a5h, what is a mudkip
(12:39:14) (@Bambi) ho JB
(12:39:16) (subseven) i can't put my finger on it
(12:39:21) (djbb) I tried telling Principal Anonymous, but he told me that the only thing they could do was watch out for that sort of behaviour.
(12:39:26) (JB) Hay.
(12:39:28) * DL (DL@c-68-57-116-115.hsd1.va.comcast.net) has joined #autism
(12:39:29) (@Darkman) hi JB
(12:39:37) (DL) lol hi thar
(12:39:39) (chimi) A5h-X have you tried to seek help?
(12:40:11) (subseven) maybe mudkip is some type of slur
(12:40:20) (chimi) what is a mudkip?
(12:40:23) (djbb) Also, some of the students think its funny telling my child to do a "barrel roll", whatever that is.
(12:40:24) (subseven) like kike or something
(12:40:29) (DL) lol
(12:40:31) (djbb) He often comes home screaming "do a barrel roll"
(12:40:31) (DL) mudkip
(12:40:32) (DL) is lik
(12:40:34) (DL) well
(12:40:40) (DL) mudkips are like
(12:40:47) (DL) i really cant explain it
(12:40:50) (DL) they are the most
(12:40:53) (DL) beautiful
(12:40:56) (DL) thing in the world
(12:41:02) (subseven) so you liek them?
(12:41:04) (DL) i mean i heard u guyz liek em
(12:41:08) (chimi) does this have to do with autism?
(12:41:12) (DL) YES
(12:41:12) (chimi) is it some like
(12:41:23) (chimi) oh
(12:41:32) (subseven) should i liek them too?
(12:41:36) (DL) DONT EVEN QUESTION THE IMPORTANCE OF MUDKIPS
(12:41:36) (jew) one of the children screems SO I HERD YOU LIKE MUDKIPZ?
(12:41:38) (chimi) will my child liek mudkips?
(12:41:46) (DL) my child luvs mudkips
(12:41:48) (DL) if he didnt
(12:41:50) (DL) id beat him
(12:42:01) (jew) that is not very nice
(12:42:01) (djbb) Lately my child has been insisting hes changing his name to "Anonymous", and loudly boasts "Anonymous does not forgive"
(12:42:06) (subseven) should i make mine liek them?
(12:42:07) (djbb) I'm rather frightened at this sort of behavious :/
(12:42:10) (chimi) omg
(12:42:12) (chimi) djbb 
(12:42:20) (chimi) you must get your child help
(12:42:33) (DL) djbb
(12:42:40) (djbb) Well I took him to see his psychiatrist, Professor Moot
(12:42:44) (DL) i think you should let your child see a doctor
(12:42:47) (djbb) But he insists this is normal behavious
(12:42:52) (DL) he may have what they call /b/tardism
(12:42:57) (chimi) so autism and mudkips are related
(12:43:05) (DL) in everyway possible
(12:43:06) (chimi) this is some interesting and informative information
(12:43:14) (chimi) this place is such a huge help
(12:43:20) (jew) babbi, what do you think
(12:43:20) (DL) i know rite
(12:43:49) (subseven) chimi: i think so
(12:43:58) (DL) i think she has Autism
(12:44:10) (chimi) i've heard things about autistic children beliving that the jews did wtc
(12:44:14) (chimi) is this true as well?
(12:44:14) (subseven) it sounds like there definitely a mudkip link somewhere
(12:44:17) (chimi) plz advz
(12:44:18) (DL) oh thats just a myth
(12:44:20) (chimi) oh
(12:44:21) (jew) is it alright if i let my autistic brother talk to you guys?
(12:44:24) (chimi) something about cubic time?
(12:44:41) (DL) please jew
(12:44:46) (jew) ok here he is
(12:44:47) (DL) we would be honored
(12:44:47) (chimi) yes :)
(12:44:50) (subseven) absolutely jew
(12:44:56) (jew) hI my naem is benji
(12:44:58) (chimi) what is his name
(12:44:58) (chimi) oh
(12:45:01) (chimi) hellow 
(12:45:06) (subseven) hi benji
(12:45:08) (DL) Benji
(12:45:12) (DL) do you have any urges
(12:45:13) (DL) to
(12:45:16) (DL) touch yourself
(12:45:19) (djbb) I remember a few months ago a particular group of violent students would push my child into mud and physically assault him, he came home with several bruises one day. Hes so innocent, I don't know why people would do that sort of thing to a child unable to defend himself. Then he was telling me how one child even threatened to kill him, thats when I got scared and told him hes moving with his aunty and uncle in bel-air
(12:45:21) (jew) do yOu guyZ liek mUdkipZ?
(12:45:28) (DL) ZOMGZ
(12:45:28) (chimi) jew
(12:45:28) (Arsanerit) who doesn't?
(12:45:31) (jew) or Ro0nskape
(12:45:32) (chimi) i have a question
(12:45:33) (subseven) yes benji....i believe we do
(12:45:34) (Arsanerit) Hm
(12:45:36) (Arsanerit) many new people here?
(12:45:39) (chimi) can you please explain how jews did wtc plz?
(12:45:49) (jew) chimi that is not very nice
(12:45:56) (chimi) i have heard
(12:45:58) (jew) but i will let benji continue now
(12:46:01) (chimi) that it is a belief
(12:46:12) (chimi) that jews did wtc is a common belief of autistic children
(12:46:14) (jew) ChImi my br0fer does not Liek yoOu
(12:46:16) (chimi) i do not mean to offend
(12:46:24) (@Darkman) ok
(12:46:26) (DL) Chimi you bastard
(12:46:26) (subseven) tell me about mudkips benji
(12:46:29) (DL) you shuold be ashamed
(12:46:35) (chimi) i am
(12:46:40) (jew) Chiimi i do0 not liek you bery muUchk
(12:46:52) (@Darkman) I am sure we can chat with one another without this
(12:46:53) (chimi) oic
(12:47:05) (DL) Benji please forgive Chimi
(12:47:05) (subseven) i want to know if i liek them or not
(12:47:08) (DL) she lieks mudkips
(12:47:11) (DL) or he
(12:47:12) * Nets (~mail@147.126.10.251) has left #Autism
(12:47:13) (djbb) My child did the cutest thing
(12:47:14) (@Bambi) please watch language
(12:47:16) (DL) or whatever the hell it is
(12:47:16) (chimi) i am she
(12:47:18) (jew) I f0-rgive yoou chOImi
(12:47:26) (djbb) I bought him a new cat last week to keep him company, and it has an abnormally long torso
(12:47:29) (djbb) So he named it "longcat"
(12:47:32) (chimi) awwwww
(12:47:34) (chimi) pics?
(12:47:42) (DL) nudez?
(12:47:44) (djbb) I have somewhere, I'll DCC if you want
(12:47:51) (jew) I lIEk Lo0ve LOOOOnong kats
(12:47:53) (Arsanerit) What's going on?
(12:47:59) (Arsanerit) What's going on in this channel?
(12:48:06) * JB (Kev@ACC3ED74.ipt.aol.com) has left #autism
(12:48:06) (DL) oh you know
(12:48:14) (DL) just chillin out maxin relaxin all cool
(12:48:24) (DL) shootin some b-ball outside of the school
(12:48:25) (jew) HIII arSenaeriet
(12:49:03) (djbb) Darkman, how old is your child?
(12:49:12) (@Darkman) gonna be 17 in april
(12:49:31) (DL) my child is going to be 56 tommorow
(12:49:35) (jew) ARsaNerti, D0 yOu have aUUtisim To0?
(12:49:39) (djbb) Mine is 11 currently, but he likes to tell people hes "over 9000 years old"
(12:49:52) (Arsanerit) jew: Can you please use normal capitalisation?
(12:50:19) (chimi) wry
(12:50:21) (jew) arsanerit, i am sorry i am letting my autistic brother talk to you guys
(12:50:30) (subseven) Arsanerit: i think that's benji...and autistic boy
(12:50:37) (djbb) Does your child have any idols, Darkman?
(12:50:41) (djbb) Musicians, movie actors?
(12:50:42) (subseven) he's an hero
(12:50:52) (Arsanerit) My name is Gerrit Holl. I have Asperger Syndrome. I was diagnosed in 1992. I was born in 1985.
(12:50:53) (@Darkman) his Daddy
(12:50:55) (DL) my son is absolutely in love with Hal
(12:50:57) (DL) Turner
(12:50:59) (djbb) Aw, thats sweet :)
(12:51:04) (DL) but
(12:51:05) (chimi) i would like to see some pics of your kids
(12:51:08) (djbb) My child idolises Richard C. Mongler
(12:51:10) (chimi) do they do crazy things?
(12:51:15) (chimi) like put shoes on their heads?
(12:51:16) (jew) benji looks to all adult people with autisim as an heros
(12:51:18) (DL) mine lynches niggers
(12:51:19) (chimi) i hope my kid is funny
(12:51:20) (DL) but thats it
(12:51:23) (chimi) O_O
(12:51:26) (DL) well
(12:51:28) (djbb) Omg Chimi, my child puts shoe on head allll the time
(12:51:28) (DL) only sometimes
(12:51:36) * Darkman has kicked DL from #autism (bad language)
(12:51:37) (chimi) omg
(12:51:39) (chimi) really?
(12:51:43) (djbb) Yes
(12:51:47) (@Darkman) ok
(12:51:49) * DL (DL@c-68-57-116-115.hsd1.va.comcast.net) has joined #autism
(12:51:52) (chimi) awww
(12:51:55) (djbb) But I've had to discipline him lately, he picked up some really naughty language on the playground
(12:51:56) (chimi) do you have a pic of it perhaps?
(12:51:58) * JB (Kev@ACC3ED74.ipt.aol.com) has joined #autism
(12:52:02) (@Darkman) ok
(12:52:02) (djbb) Lately whenever he sees a girl hes never met before
(12:52:13) (@Bambi) DL  watch the language in here please
(12:52:15) (DL) tits or gtfo?
(12:52:15) (@Darkman) DL you please reframe from saying those things
(12:52:16) (djbb) He tells her to "show her t**ts or get the f*** out"
(12:52:23) (chimi) :O
(12:52:25) (djbb) Its really quite odd
(12:52:25) --- Darkman sets ban on *!*@c-68-57-116-115.hsd1.va.comcast.net
(12:52:26) (chimi) that's terrible
(12:52:26) * Bambi has kicked DL from #autism (Bambi)
(12:52:27) --- Bambi sets ban on *!*DL@*.hsd1.va.comcast.net
(12:52:33) (JB) hay my mommy said this is a safe place to chat
(12:52:35) (djbb) I don't want to spank him though, since he can't help it
(12:52:37) (subseven) dayam
(12:52:38) (jew) that DL is a bad man
(12:52:51) (@Bambi) he is a gone one from here now 
(12:52:55) (subseven) you guys are kind of violent in this channel
(12:52:59) (jew) that is nice
(12:53:04) (JB) who is the dl
(12:53:08) (chimi) thank you for kicking him
(12:53:08) (@Darkman) just the bad peeps that come here
(12:53:13) (chimi) i find that offensive
(12:53:21) (chimi) do you get lots of them Darkman?
(12:53:22) (@Bambi) we all did
(12:53:27) (djbb) Do you guys think its wrong spanking an autistic child? I personally don't want to do it, but sometimes when he gets out of control, I question my morales
(12:53:28) (@Darkman) not really
(12:53:55) (JB) whatt is wrong with him
(12:53:57) (jew) i have to spank my brother some times, because he will pull the dogs hair out
(12:54:02) (Arsanerit) What is spanking?
(12:54:06) (@Darkman) just people tring to bump authority
(12:54:13) (chimi) ah
(12:54:19) (@Darkman) discipline your children
(12:54:20) (@Bambi) i dont want to say spankings are good but i  did spank my children when they was younger  when they did bad things but  they didnt work with my son at all
(12:54:29) (Arsanerit) Discipline by using violence?
(12:54:33) (Arsanerit) I think it is wrong to use violence.
(12:54:41) (subseven) pain conditioning isn't bad....it's been around for ages
(12:54:50) (@Darkman) some would say negative motivation
(12:54:51) (Arsanerit) I think it's bad.
(12:54:54) (subseven) sometimes its all taht works
(12:54:59) (Arsanerit) I disagree.
(12:55:02) (jew) sometimes it is nessisary, because my younger brother onnce killed our cat
(12:55:06) (jew) by sitting on him
(12:55:09) (Arsanerit) I think it's banned here.
(12:55:13) (subseven) were you spanked Arsanerit?
(12:55:16) (Arsanerit) No.
(12:55:23) (subseven) well there you go
(12:55:23) (chimi) my step dad used to beat me with a paint mixer
(12:55:29) (Arsanerit) subseven: What do you mean?
(12:55:32) (jew) but what about spankings when my brother killed the ca
(12:55:33) (chimi) it had my name on it and everything
(12:55:45) (djbb) Does anyone know what "shoop da whoop" means?
(12:55:46) (@Bambi) beating and spanking are 2 totally different things 
(12:55:46) (subseven) thats' why your such a pussy ass liberal now
(12:55:48) (djbb) My childs been saying it alot
(12:56:00) (Arsanerit) subseven: I'm not a liberal. I'm a socialist.
(12:56:08) (Arsanerit) subseven: What makes you think I'm a liberal?
(12:56:09) (subseven) same thing
(12:56:10) (JB) i  dont like this chatt it's not nice
(12:56:11) (jew) subsevern that is not nice
(12:56:11) (Arsanerit) No.
(12:56:12) (@Bambi) jew  that is just he needs more supervision
(12:56:20) (A5h-X) sometimes ricky leaves his mouth wide open for hours on end. he says he is "charging his lazer". I just lose hope sometimes.
(12:56:20) (chimi) moar nice plz
(12:56:23) (Arsanerit) Liberals favour laissez-faire economy,
(12:56:42) (JB) im getting my mommy
(12:56:51) (Arsanerit) Liberals favour laissez-faire economy, less social welfare, more freedom for corporations, socialists favour publicly owned economy, more social welfare, more rights for workers.
(12:56:52) (chimi) does your mommy liek mudkips?
(12:56:59) (Arsanerit) I am not a liberal.
(12:57:16) (@Bambi) subseven please watch language 
(12:57:23) (Arsanerit) JB: Usually this chat is very nice.
(12:57:36) (chimi) so what problems should i look for in an autistic child
(12:57:51) (Arsanerit) You should not look for problems. You should look for talents.
(12:58:00) (chimi) i do not want my child hanging it's mouth open saying he's "charging his lazer"
(12:58:08) (JB) This is Tommy's mom, what seems to be the problem in here? my son is upset.
(12:58:10) (chimi) or putting his shoe on his head
(12:58:15) (jew) my little brother is talented at counter strike, he likes "pooning noobs"
(12:58:21) (Arsanerit) JB: How old is your son?
(12:58:22) (chimi) pooning!?
(12:58:23) (djbb) Should I let my autistic child watch television unsupervised? Lately hes been referring to teenage girls as "jailbait' and I don't know where he got it from
(12:58:28) (jew) he says he wants to "rais his raink on the server"
(12:58:30) (@Bambi) well chimi  if they are autistic you dont look for problems you deal with them 
(12:58:35) (JB) He is seventeen.
(12:58:38) (@Darkman) bbl tonite
(12:58:43) (@Darkman) work time for me
(12:58:44) (chimi) by dealing do you mean spanking?
(12:58:48) (chimi) what if he comes after me
(12:58:49) (JB) I thought this was a safe place for him.
(12:58:49) (Arsanerit) djbb: That's normal.
(12:58:52) * Darkman has quit (Why do they call it hen peck? At least I can kick the crap out of a chicken.)
(12:58:52) (chimi) i am very small you see
(12:58:54) (@Bambi) no chimi
(12:59:02) (Arsanerit) JB: well...
(12:59:13) (Arsanerit) I don't know what's going on tonight.
(12:59:16) (Arsanerit) Usually this is a very safe place.
(12:59:21) (A5h-X) ricky has just urinated on the mouse. 
(12:59:24) (Arsanerit) But tonight many strangers are here.
(12:59:33) (subseven) how do you feel about communism Arsanerit?
(12:59:34) (jew) spanking is called for a5h
(12:59:45) (Arsanerit) subseven: It failed.
(12:59:45) (JB) I have half a mind to report this place.
(12:59:55) (Arsanerit) subseven: It's good in theory, but it doesn't work because power corrupts.
(12:59:56) (subseven) why do you hate America?
(13:00:06) (JB) This is very disturbing, looking at what he has seen.
(13:00:06) (djbb) You should hear my child sometimes Chimi
(13:00:07) (Arsanerit) subseven: What makes you think I hate America?
(13:00:24) (djbb) Whenever he calls someone, he says "desu call home" before he starts dialing
(13:00:25) (subseven) if you're a socialist, then you hate America
(13:00:32) * Bambi has kicked subseven from #autism (Bambi)
(13:00:35) (jew) guys i just cought my brother masterbating to black women having sex with white men
(13:00:38) (Arsanerit) subseven: No I don't.
(13:00:43) (A5h-X) yes indeed, jew. He shall feel my wrath "like the fist of an angry god".
(13:00:45) (jew) what do i do
(13:00:45) (chimi) jew
(13:00:46) (JB) See? What is this?
(13:00:48) (chimi) your brother
(13:00:50) (chimi) needs help
(13:00:50) (jew) yes?
(13:00:52) * Bambi has kicked jew from #autism (Bambi)
(13:00:52) * jew (~lol@CPE-69-23-214-222.wi.res.rr.com) has joined #autism
(13:00:53) (Arsanerit) JB: This is strange.
(13:00:54) (jew) iknow
(13:00:58) * JohnDoe (~duality@ua-83-227-225-22.cust.bredbandsbolaget.se) has joined #autism
(13:00:59) (chimi) are you white?
(13:00:59) (jew) bambi im serious
(13:01:02) * Bambi has kicked jew from #autism (Bambi)
(13:01:02) --- Bambi sets ban on *!*lol@*.wi.res.rr.com
(13:01:03) (JB) I do not want my child to see this!
(13:01:05) (Arsanerit) hej JohnDoe
(13:01:10) (JohnDoe) =/
(13:01:11) (JohnDoe) hej
(13:01:11) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:11) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:11) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:12) (Arsanerit) JB: Bambi is taking care of it.
(13:01:12) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:12) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:12) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:12) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:13) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:13) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:13) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:13) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:14) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:14) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:14) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:14) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:14) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:14) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:15) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:15) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:15) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:15) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:15) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:15) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:15) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:16) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:16) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:16) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:16) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:16) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:16) (chimi) LOL RETARDS
(13:01:18) (djbb) DESU RETARDS AUTISM LOL
(13:01:18) (djbb) DESU RETARDS AUTISM LOL
(13:01:18) (djbb) DESU RETARDS AUTISM LOL
(13:01:19) (djbb) DESU RETARDS AUTISM LOL
(13:01:19) (djbb) DESU RETARDS AUTISM LOL
(13:01:19) (djbb) DESU RETARDS AUTISM LOL
(13:01:19) (JB) I'M CALLING THE COPS
(13:01:20) (djbb) DESU RETARDS AUTISM LOL
(13:01:21) (Arsanerit) JB: This channel is being attacked.
(13:01:22) * You have been kicked from #autism by Bambi (Bambi)
(13:01:24) --- Cannot join #autism (You are banned).

Session Start: Mon Jan 22 13:08:21 2007
Session Ident: #AUTISM
(13:08) * Now talking in #AUTISM
(13:08) * Topic is 'Support/Chat/Info for those living with Autism�'
(13:08) * Set by CStar on Sun Jan 21 16:58:51
(13:10) <Bambi> hi skyy
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org
(13:11) * Disconnected
Session Close: Mon Jan 22 13:11:04 2007

Session Start: Mon Jan 22 13:14:48 2007
Session Ident: #autism
(13:14) * Now talking in #autism
(13:14) * Topic is 'Support/Chat/Info for those living with Autism�'
(13:14) * Set by CStar on Sun Jan 21 16:58:51
(13:15) <deathcabqt> hey guys
(13:15) <Bambi> hi deathcabqt
(13:15) * James (~JamesLeig@ppp-70-249-33-50.dsl.austtx.swbell.net) has joined #autism
(13:15) <deathcabqt> why is it so empty in here?
(13:15) <deathcabqt> :(
(13:16) <James> :(
(13:16) <Bambi> hi James
(13:16) * Disconnected
Session Close: Mon Jan 22 13:16:23 2007

[edit] Noteworthy quotes

[Click to Collapse] [Click to Expand] 0

(A5h-X) sometimes ricky leaves his mouth wide open for hours on end. he says he is "charging his lazer". I just lose hope sometimes.

(13:11) <skyy> http://www.autism.on.nimp.org

(13:01:18) (djbb) DESU RETARDS AUTISM LOL

(13:01:16) (chimi) LOL RETARDS

(13:00:35) (jew) guys i just cought my brother masterbating to black women having sex with white men
(13:00:43) (A5h-X) yes indeed, jew. He shall feel my wrath "like the fist of an angry god"

(13:00:24) (djbb) Whenever he calls someone, he says "desu call home" before he starts dialing

(12:32:26) (djbb) My child goes to a school with over 9000 students, and during gym class the other kids block him from using the pool
(12:32:31) (djbb) They tell him its "closed due to AIDs"

(12:34:52) * Bambi <------has a son 19 with pdd/nos...ocd...seizures... we are from midwest..usa

(12:35:01) (subseven) my boy tries to use the library...and they block him and chant "desu desu desu"....it's not nice at all

(12:36:18) (subseven) one of them asked me if i liked mudkips
(12:36:36) (jew) what is a mudkips?
(12:36:40) (A5h-X) ricky likes mudkips!
(12:36:52) (subseven) i don't even know what a mudkip is
(12:37:02) (subseven) but i'm sure i don't liek it
12:37:41) (A5h-X) he is particualrly fond a of a "mudkipz" rucksack

(12:38:45) (A5h-X) ricky keeps rocking back and forth and groaning "ah herd u liek mupkipz"

12:39:04) (subseven) i just think maybe it's connected somehow....you know....the desu and the mudkips

(12:39:21) (djbb) I tried telling Principal Anonymous, but he told me that the only thing they could do was watch out for that sort of behaviour.

(12:40:11) (subseven) maybe mudkip is some type of slur

(12:40:23) (djbb) Also, some of the students think its funny telling my child to do a "barrel roll", whatever that i

(12:40:31) (djbb) He often comes home screaming "do a barrel roll"

(12:40:31) (DL) mudkip
(12:40:32) (DL) is lik
(12:40:34) (DL) well
(12:40:40) (DL) mudkips are like
(12:40:47) (DL) i really cant explain it
(12:40:50) (DL) they are the most
(12:40:53) (DL) beautiful
(12:40:56) (DL) thing in the world
(12:41:02) (subseven) so you liek them?

(12:41:36) (DL) DONT EVEN QUESTION THE IMPORTANCE OF MUDKIPS
(12:41:36) (jew) one of the children screems SO I HERD YOU LIKE MUDKIPZ?
(12:41:38) (chimi) will my child liek mudkips?
(12:41:46) (DL) my child luvs mudkips
(12:41:48) (DL) if he didnt
(12:41:50) (DL) id beat him
(12:42:01) (jew) that is not very nice

(12:42:01) (djbb) Lately my child has been insisting hes changing his name to "Anonymous", and loudly boasts "Anonymous does not forgive" 

(12:42:40) (djbb) Well I took him to see his psychiatrist, Professor Moot

(12:42:52) (DL) he may have what they call /b/tardism

12:44:10) (chimi) i've heard things about autistic children beliving that the jews did wtc

[edit] The tale of Benji

[Click to Collapse] [Click to Expand] 0

12:44:21) (jew) is it alright if i let my autistic brother talk to you guys?
(12:44:24) (chimi) something about cubic time?
(12:44:41) (DL) please jew
(12:44:46) (jew) ok here he is
(12:44:47) (DL) we would be honored
(12:44:47) (chimi) yes :)
(12:44:50) (subseven) absolutely jew
(12:44:56) (jew) hI my naem is benji
(12:44:58) (chimi) what is his name
(12:44:58) (chimi) oh
(12:45:01) (chimi) hellow 
(12:45:06) (subseven) hi benji
(12:45:08) (DL) Benji
(12:45:12) (DL) do you have any urges
(12:45:13) (DL) to
(12:45:16) (DL) touch yourself
(12:45:19) (djbb) I remember a few months ago a particular group of violent students would push my child into mud and physically assault him, he came home with several bruises one day. Hes so innocent, I don't know why people would do that sort of thing to a child unable to defend himself. Then he was telling me how one child even threatened to kill him, thats when I got scared and told him hes moving with his aunty and uncle in bel-air
(12:45:21) (jew) do yOu guyZ liek mUdkipZ?
(12:45:28) (DL) ZOMGZ
(12:45:28) (chimi) jew
(12:45:28) (Arsanerit) who doesn't?
(12:45:31) (jew) or Ro0nskape
(12:45:32) (chimi) i have a question
(12:45:33) (subseven) yes benji....i believe we do
(12:45:34) (Arsanerit) Hm
(12:45:36) (Arsanerit) many new people here?
(12:45:39) (chimi) can you please explain how jews did wtc plz?
(12:45:49) (jew) chimi that is not very nice
(12:45:56) (chimi) i have heard
(12:45:58) (jew) but i will let benji continue now
(12:46:01) (chimi) that it is a belief
(12:46:12) (chimi) that jews did wtc is a common belief of autistic children
(12:46:14) (jew) ChImi my br0fer does not Liek yoOu
(12:46:16) (chimi) i do not mean to offend
(12:46:24) (@Darkman) ok
(12:46:26) (DL) Chimi you bastard
(12:46:26) (subseven) tell me about mudkips benji
(12:46:29) (DL) you shuold be ashamed
(12:46:35) (chimi) i am
(12:46:40) (jew) Chiimi i do0 not liek you bery muUchk
(12:46:52) (@Darkman) I am sure we can chat with one another without this
(12:46:53) (chimi) oic
(12:47:05) (DL) Benji please forgive Chimi
(12:47:05) (subseven) i want to know if i liek them or not
(12:47:08) (DL) she lieks mudkips
(12:47:11) (DL) or he
(12:47:12) * Nets (~mail@147.126.10.251) has left #Autism
(12:47:13) (djbb) My child did the cutest thing
(12:47:14) (@Bambi) please watch language
(12:47:16) (DL) or whatever the hell it is
(12:47:16) (chimi) i am she
(12:47:18) (jew) I f0-rgive yoou chOImi
(12:47:26) (djbb) I bought him a new cat last week to keep him company, and it has an abnormally long torso
(12:47:29) (djbb) So he named it "longcat"
(12:47:32) (chimi) awwwww
(12:47:34) (chimi) pics?
(12:47:42) (DL) nudez?
(12:47:44) (djbb) I have somewhere, I'll DCC if you want
(12:47:51) (jew) I lIEk Lo0ve LOOOOnong kats
(12:47:53) (Arsanerit) What's going on?
(12:47:59) (Arsanerit) What's going on in this channel?
(12:48:06) * JB (Kev@ACC3ED74.ipt.aol.com) has left #autism
(12:48:06) (DL) oh you know
(12:48:14) (DL) just chillin out maxin relaxin all cool
(12:48:24) (DL) shootin some b-ball outside of the school
(12:48:25) (jew) HIII arSenaeriet
(12:49:03) (djbb) Darkman, how old is your child?
(12:49:12) (@Darkman) gonna be 17 in april
(12:49:31) (DL) my child is going to be 56 tommorow
(12:49:35) (jew) ARsaNerti, D0 yOu have aUUtisim To0?
(12:49:39) (djbb) Mine is 11 currently, but he likes to tell people hes "over 9000 years old"
(12:49:52) (Arsanerit) jew: Can you please use normal capitalisation?
(12:50:19) (chimi) wry
(12:50:21) (jew) arsanerit, i am sorry i am letting my autistic brother talk to you guys
(12:50:30) (subseven) Arsanerit: i think that's benji...and autistic boy
(12:50:37) (djbb) Does your child have any idols, Darkman?
(12:50:41) (djbb) Musicians, movie actors?
(12:50:42) (subseven) he's an hero

[edit] Gallery of Tards

Sometimes,depending on behavior,they are even allowed to spawn offspring.	This retard is allowed to leave its cage on holidays.		Typical retard.
Blame MTV.	When a retard tries to be straight up, yo. Nothing says pimp like Thomas the Tank Engine, while hanging out with his fellow wiggers.	Typical gangsteretard.	Some retards are also ninjas.