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Korn

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This page contains spoilers — Important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT JONATHAN DAVIS GOT ASSFUCKED BY HIS DADDY!!!1
Korn's lead singer Jonathan Davis after a whole night fapping to /b/
Korn's lead singer Jonathan Davis after a whole night fapping to /b/

Korn (written ShIt, just because they think it's cool) is a popular American nu-metal band known for having guitars tuned so low they can't even be heard, bass lines that sounds like someone beating a dead baby up against the hood of a car, matching drums and singing about meaningful themes like depression, anger towards the music industry (despite being on a major label), rape and child abuse. They are considered to be the founders of nu-metal and deserve to be gang-raped in a moshpit just for that alone. Thus, they are utter crap, and set the stage for Evanescence, Linkin Park and Slipknot to boot, along with fellow fucktarded brain-rapists Limp Bizkit.

In 2005, much lulz and drama ensued when guitarist Brian "Head" Welch suddenly quit the band. Although official sources claim that Welch had found Jesus and gone off to become a fundie, the real reason that he left was because Jonathan Davis would no longer allow Welch to give him fellatio (ever wonder why they called him Head?), instead giving that duty to the other guitarist James "Munky" Shaffer.

There has been a lot of debate about the parallels between Jonathan Davis' bank account, sellout status and weight. Many believe that Davis has spent most of his millions on sweet and fatty treats. Despite being as fat and ugly as any on the cesspools of the Internets, Korn's idiot teenage fans still think Davis is so cool because he swears a lot. He frequently moans about how much he doesn't want to "talk about politics", despite making gems like this about it.

Jonathan Davis' favorite dildo, the band's mascot and namesake
Jonathan Davis' favorite dildo, the band's mascot and namesake

Sample lyrics from "Politics": 

 Everybody's raped

 Lying to your face

 Kicks you in the gut

 Slayed you here all messed up [sic]

Marx better move over... for 300 pounds of worthless, redneck failure.

Korn also once held a contest to create a music video for one of their singles. Unfortunately, the winner was not a fan of Korn. Thus, he made a video about the leader of the band killing the rest of the band, and presumably going on to become an hero. Lately, "Head" has become a born-again Christian. This is presumably a publicity act so that he may get his hands on your children like all good Catholic priests do.

[edit] Some famous Korn lyrics

[edit] List of Korn song subjects

  • Rape
  • Homosexuality
  • Air Force Ones
  • Experiencing child abuse
  • Getting fucked up the ass by daddy
  • Widespread displays of anger towards their record label with the purpose of selling more cds
  • Self injury
  • Suicide, wish he'd fucking do it already
  • Songs about how awful Davis' life is, and how we should all respect him, as he harvests money from retards worldwide.



Korn is part of a series on Music.

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