Goatse

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Image:Hello.jpg

If you were offended by this picture, maybe you shouldn't have looked at it. Sorry, Man.

It still isn't as bad as this. Click.

Contents

[edit] Fun facts about Goatse

These facts are all true:

  • Goatse can take bed posts up the ass
  • Goatse seems to be married because he has ring on his hand... FUCKING LOOK!!!
  • Goatse has a rather large pilonidal cyst or a second, virgin asshole.
  • Goatse is the most popular member of The Power 5.
  • Goatse’s best friend is The Giver.
  • Goatse can refer to the man in the picture, the picture itself, the sex move, or the website that started it all.
  • Goatse gave birth to the aryan race as well as that dickhead Osama bin Laden.
  • Your mom gets off to Goatse every day and one day hopes to marry him
  • Goatse is currently dating tubgirl
  • He is also known as Bottle Guy. You can also understand this fact with the aid of this video.
  • At least 100 people see Goatse for the first time every day
  • Goatse enjoys long walks on the beach and FUCKING HUGE DILDOS
  • Despite what you see in the picture (study it for a moment,) the human intestine is not a big truck you can dump something into, but a series of tubes.
  • http://goatse.cz hosts an exact mirror of the main pages of the goatse.cx site, and manages to preserve most of the original phonetic touch and feel
  • A survey found goatse gives 90% of people who view it nightmares for months.
  • It is now illegal [1]
  • There are over 9000 links to goatse on ED.
  • Over 9000 ED users think this is funny.
  • It's not.
  • It is.
  • It's not.
  • It's fucking disturbing. But it is.
  • Image:N00bdomokun.jpg STFU NOOB IT TOTALLY IS!
  • Despite popular opinion on the Internets, Goatse's asshole is not the way it is because he has stretched it that far. The original intention of the photo shoot was to show people the disturbing consequences of Melmo.
  • If goatse was in a fagsuit, furfags would get off to this.
  • Some furfags do anyway. 
§ 2252C. Misleading words or digital images on the Internet
(a) IN GENERAL.—Whoever knowingly embeds words or digital
images into the source code of a website with the intent to deceive a person
into viewing material constituting obscenity shall be fined under this title 
and imprisoned for not moar than 10 years.

(b) MINORS.—Whoever knowingly embeds words or digital images
into the source code of a website with the intent to deceive
a minor into viewing material harmful to minors on the Internet
shall be fined under this title and imprisoned for not moar than 20 years.

(c) CONSTRUCTION.—For the purposes of this section, a word or
digital image that clearly indicates the sexual content of the
site, such as ‘sex’ or ‘porn’, is not misleading.

(d) DEFINITIONS.—As used in this section—HR 4472 EAS.

(1) the terms ‘material that is harmful to minors’ and ‘sex’
have the meaning given such terms in section 2252B; and
‘‘(2)the term 'source code’ means the combination of text and
other characters comprising the content, both viewable
and nonviewable, of a web page, including any website publishing
language, programming language, protocol or functional content, as
well as any successor languages or protocols.’’.

(b) TABLE OF SECTIONS.—The table of sections for chapter 110
of title 18, United States Code, is amended by inserting after
the item relating to section 2252B the following:
2252C. Misleading words or digital images on the Internet.’’.

That means that you cannot link it because it tricks people into viewing obscenity. That stupid law was created probably since a senator, or even George W. Bush got pranked and then fap to it without anyone looking, and were wusses and outlawed it. However feel free to link it via Aim or your favorite IM client because the fact that they are told what every URL actually is means they are not being tricked.

[edit] Official theme

Goatseman, Goatseman,
Does whatever an asshole can
Shits a turd, any size,
Catches thieves just like flies
Look Out!
Here comes the Goatseman.


He's the Goatse Man
Streching his ass hole out as far as he can
When he traveled time
Bringing lulz for all mankind

[edit] The Man Behind The Anus

Kirk Johnson relaxing (his ass) at home
Kirk Johnson relaxing (his ass) at home

One very persistent internets user spent months and months trawling all the gay erotica and anal stretching newsgroups, and eventually located the star of this picture, by matching the pattern of moles on his ass. It is with many lulz that ED advises the world that the Goatse's real name is Kirk Johnson, and he posts pictures and videos of himself regularly on the newsgroup alt.binaries.erotica.male.anal He also posts regularly on imagefap, and has thousands (I'm not shitting you) of pictures of his flexible poopchute. Here's a goatse video. . .Not for the faint of heart


[edit] Actual Accounts Of Goatse 

anon 2: so
anon 2: i heard ur brother got sucked up by goatse
anon 2: seen it happen myself also
anon 1: yeah D:
anon 1: It's awful
anon 2: to my cousin
anon 2: yeah
anon 2: i was on ed
anon 2: and got up to go to the br
anon 1: onoes
anon 2: when i got back
anon 2: he was opening to page
anon 2: 4 years old
anon 2: i was liek
anon 2: NUUUUUUUUUE
anon 1: FOUR?
anon 2: FOUR
anon 2: RAN FOR HIM
anon 2: in slomo
anon 1: xD
anon 2: i grabbed his ankle
anon 2: got his shoe
anon 2: that was it
anon 1: D:
anon 2: rest of him was in a spiraling pit of nasty
anon 1: I feel your pain.
anon 2: insides of soem guy i dont know
anon 2: yeah
anon 2: god

[edit] Uses of Goatse

[edit] The complete set

OK

I

Am

Uploading

The

Full

Goatse

Set

So

All

You

Perverts

Can

Fap

Happily

I

Hope

You

Enjoy

This

Ass Mind

Opening

Experience

Of

Seeing

All

This

Hard-core

Gay

Pornography

Hey

At

Least

It

Isn’t

As

Bad

as

Pain

Series

lol

If you're too lazy to click on every picture, there's a slideshow of this exact picture set HERE. However, this site is owned and operated by the same person as Meatspin, and we all know what a ghey fgt he is.

[edit] Gallery

A Goatse-inspired alternative design for the London 2012 Olympics Logo

Time magazine pays homage to the beloved goatse

The legend of the Goatse has existed throughout time...

ASCII GOATSE, with the ASCII and the GOATSE and the huge asshole

Goatse is the one true god

God is a fan of goatse too

The Goatse nebula

Pluto sure loves stretching his ass.

Apple supports goatse.

Moar support from Apple.

Plz to be helping Goatse

The Goatse sweater

Mexican car batteries do goatse, too

The man behind the anus

Goatse.wav

Just so the kids aren't left out.

Double the goatse, double the fun.

Real goatse!

Found on back of crayon pack

3D goatse.

3D interactive Goatse in Games

A rare Madeleine McCann drawing.

Goatse Girl.

Yummy!

Digimon Goatse.Yiff.

wtf!!1

Goatse in my store?

Goatse in my pokemon.

Worse than goatse.

Goatse in my Nintendo!!1

Moar Nintendo Goatse.

Behold the GoatseStar!

Hmm Goatse Cola.

Barry Bonds hit number 760.

Westnet logo

The hole they dug saddam out of.

WANT!

Goatsecake V2.0 - edible art!

fail

DO NOT WANT!!!

It is delicious goatse, you must eat it.

Broadcaster gone wrong :O

Bioshock goatse

Google supports goatse.

A touching tribute to the asshole that changed the world.

[edit] See also

[edit] External links

Goatse is part of a series on Trolls
History:
Theory:
Practice:
Targets:
Retrieved from "http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Goatse"
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