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Re: Frank Talk on Gay Stereotypes
There have been a lot of interesting exchanges recently on this list--talk
about how to react to racial insults, about proper ettiquette on the list,
about Vietnamese and now gay stereotpes, etc. One person reacted strongly
to the LA events posting and other people reacted strongly to his reaction.
In another recent exchange someone advocated beating someone up for making
racial slurs and another spoke out against advocating violence. I find it
all valid because we're all adults here--or at least that should be the
case--and so I think any man's or woman's opinion is aceptable as long as
that person is being sincere and courteous. Of course, "courteous" is a
very relative and subjective thing, but I think each person's
interpretation of what "courteous" means should suffice.
I found the recent "frank talk on gay sterotypes" interesting, because I
think there are notions about gay behavior that make both other gay and
non-gay people uncomfortable. I do think on the one hand that we, other gay
or lesbian people, ought not be so critical of how other gay people appear
and what they do because we are all basically an oppressed people, and some
of us will natuarally respond to that opression with extreme behavior.
Also, the people who do have the courage or gall to act in such a way, are,
I'm sure, in the minority, with the majority of gay people remaining in the
closet, suffering silently under the yoke of oppression. Then, there are
those among us who have found a way to balance these two extreme reactions.
Regardless of how we respond as a gay person respond to the difficult
circumstance we find ourselves in, I think we ought to at least understand
that we all share a common lot and that we ought to support one another as
much as possible, and try to overcome what ill fellings we may have toward
one another.
As the person who wrote in "frank talk" suggested, I think we should
encourage one another to behave in as decent and responsible a manner as we
can. We need to set positive role models for other gay people, especially
young people, just as heterosexuals know they have to set good role models.
This doesn't mean we should try to be pious saints, but I think we ought to
be as responsible and decent as we comfortably can. Again, I respect each
persons ability to make his or her own value judgements. For me the
operative word is "comfortably" because we all have a right to be free to
live our lives as we please and enjoy ourselves. I live in Japan where
there are so many "unspoken" rules on how people are to behave. I hate all
of that. But I think we as individuals should be able to set our own
restraints as we see fit and observe decent and responsible behaviour
within those, our own, guidelines.
Bruce Leo Dauphin
http://web.kyoto-inet.or.jp/people/dauphin
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