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RE: Frank Talk on Gay Stereotypes
From: Peter <email> on 03/20/97 02:38 PM
Some utterly random and mostly useless reactions to the post...
HI you might have misunderstood me. The issue I was mentioning is not
about older gay men after younger guys. I absolutely have no problem with
that. It's the moral standard, the respect that he should have for himself as
trying to court another person, and the respect that he should have for his
bf, for their relationship. What kind of a relationship is that, when a
couple go out and look for another person to have a threesomes with,
after they are sick of each other sexually?
I don't know what kind of relationship it is myself, but I try to resist making
any judgement about people's relationships based on what kind of sex they like.
And anyway, threesomes are not, I think, a particularly gay sexual experience.
An interest in threesomes may or may not indicate some inadequacy in a
relationship, who's to say, but they're quite as popular with straight people as
with anyone. Isn't it the stereotypical heterosexual male fantasy to have a
threesome with two women? That's about as stereotypical as you can get!
And besides - I may prefer monogamy, but I also know that monogamous
relationships aren't necessarily any healthier or wholesome than the
alternatives... Not once you start scratching beneath the surface...
"Disfunctional" relationships come in every color of the rainbow.
That brings me to the question: whether the motive for many of the gay
men out there to come to each other mentally is the physical attration ,
pleasure. Anyway , as obvious as it is, the gay communities do not have good
role model, speaking generally.
I don't know, but I think the straight community is saddled with some pretty
crappy role models too though. I think we all are. It seems pretty difficult
to find a good role model for any kind of relationships, or for almost
anything... you CAN find role models, but it does take some serious looking -
and when you find a good one, you can be sure the last thing they ever want is
to be regarded by anyone as a "role model."
Maybe that's the test of their authenticity...
And as important as role models or model relationships are, they make life only
slightly more manageable - they still leave you on your own with the job of
making all the hard choices and doing all the hard work in making relationships
grow and last.
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