Gay, dyke, poof, fag, lezzie, queer. Upon
hearing these words, people
obviously think of them very negatively. The words hurt, often
because of the verbal force that is put behind them. They believe that being gay is
taboo, a sin, an error. Our sex-crazed society is to blame for this. Boys are supposed to have sex with girls,
and girls are supposed to have sex with boys, at least that's what most people believe. Boys fucking boys and girls fucking girls is considered by many people to be evil and contrary to the natural order.
It is estimated that approximately 10% of any population is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. It is widely believed that sexual orientation is pre-determined at birth and it cannot be changed.
Some people are 'naturally' gay and some people 'naturally' straight. Consider it balance; not of good and evil, but of
gay and straight. Gays have always had a hard time being accepted in society. They have faced constant physical and verbal abuse and an alarming suicide rate.
Discovery
"It's not about if you're gay, it's about when you discover
it"
Discovering that you're gay can be a very difficult experience. Typically, gay teens go through
a denial period lasting for months if not years. They try to convince themselves that they're straight and
'normal'. Unfortunately for some, all the convincing in the world cannot change sexual orientation.
After the initial period of denial, depression often comes in to play. In most situations, gays act
'gay' and their classmates abuse them because of it. That leads us to the
reaction of others towards those labelled as 'different'.
Homophobia
Children, even today, are raised in a very homophobic society. Because of this, they feel they need condemn gayness to
'fit in with the crowd'. People who act gay in school are considered outcasts and freaks.
Resplendently she sleeps
awake yet i dream
candlelight dances its attendance
across her brow
as my hand touches the nape of her neck
eyes gently sheltering her peace
i could love her for an eternal cusac
so swept into a multiplication
of an infinity
of curves... of undulations... of desires
i am haunted by her beauty
filled by her touch
i've plucked my eye
out of it's secret place
and inside i weep
while
resplendently she sleeps
awake yet i dream
- Nzinga Glenford |
Lesbians and gays are abused in many different ways. One of the most common ways is verbal
harassment. In verbal harassment, gay teens are imitated and mocked.
Their presumed lifestyle is ruthlessly insulted. People come to the conclusion that you are gay even when you have not confessed it to anyone.
Physical harassment is the most dangerous of its kind. Heterosexuals are often driven to hurt homosexuals out of hate and ignorance. Physical
harassment can range from a punch to a beating. Often, gay bashings (no matter how severe) are brought on by groups of people who equally hate gays. They do unimaginable things to prove their
'points' and to make gays feel as miserable as possible.
Verbal abuse and physical abuse are demons that attack in similar ways. Verbal abuse can drive gay teens to bring harm upon themselves and physical abuse can have the same effect. If you allow homophobes to affect the way you feel about yourself, they've won. There are two ways to fight against them and they must be used in conjunction to work. |
One way is to feel strong inside yourself. The other way is to get involved in the gay community and to communicate with other gay people. The thing you shouldn't do is fight back physically or verbally. If you do this, the homophobes feel that they have won because they have
made you angry; in a sense, they have achieved their goal.
Sexual Feelings
A large part of being gay is having sexual feelings towards people of the same sex. These feelings are sources of confusion for many gay teens. Gay males are
consistently turned on (usually to the point of getting an erection) by other guys and are not turned on by girls. It's important to know that an
erection when looking at another guy with an erection doesn't
necessarily mean you're gay, in fact, it is sometimes a natural reaction. If you're gay male, you will have these feelings for long periods of time, and again, girls will not turn you on. The same philosophy applies for gay females. Lesbians will have sexual feelings and desires for other girls and not have
many sexual desires for men.
Bisexuality can be very complicated. Bisexuals have feelings for people of their own sex as well as for people of the other sex. The feelings may vary. Some bisexuals have more sexual feelings for one sex than for the other sex.
No matter what kind of sexual feelings you have, it is important not to be scared off by them. Sex is part of every person whether they're gay, bi or straight. It's also important to remember that you were born the way you are but sexual feelings can always shift later in life.
| " I became a lesbian because of women, because women are beautiful, strong, and compassionate " - Rita Mae Brown (writer) |
Gay Culture
Unlike anti-gay activists want you to believe, there is no definite gay culture, just like there is no
definite straight culture. Gays are individuals with different attitudes and different levels of sexuality. There are sexually active gays and sexually conservative gays.
Anti-gay activists also want you to believe that being gay is all about sex. It's not. Being gay is about having the ability to love people of the same gender. Expressing that love can involve sex.
Lesbians and gays are gaining an increasing amount of importance in society. They are slowly gaining respect from the general public. We are an established community with an extremely wide variety of members. Being part of this community is very important if you're gay. It makes you feel like you're not alone and you're not a deviant.
" I don't speak for all gay people, but only for myself. I am your brother, your best friend, your parent, your roommate, your minister, your date...but I hide it from you. You make me. Try to understand what I am feeling.
For some, being lesbian or gay is:
to be condemned by most churches as sinful, by some health professionals as pathological and curable, and by the law as criminal; it's to live two separate lives, never being able to be completely honest in
either
about listening to your friends talking about queers and making jokes about effeminate males and athletic looking females as you stand there and knowing they would say the same thing about
you
about going along with the women/men as they watch men/women when you would rather watch people of your own
gender
to awaken every morning, live every day, and go to sleep every night fearing discovery and/or rejection by your family, friends,
co-workers
about dating people of the opposite gender when you really don't want to, just to maintain a
cover
about pretending to be ignorant about homosexuality and quietly listening to your straight friends display their ignorance while you dare not correct
them
about meeting someone you really like but are too afraid to find out if they're gay because they're wearing the same mask you
are
about going to a public place with your significant other and never being able to display any affection to each
other
Some would like to push lesbians and gays away
from mainstream culture and not be a productive part of society. For
some, they would like to deal lesbian and gays negative blows and
continue to feed others negative impressions about people that they
don't fully understand. Once we've decided to acknowledge who we
are, it's our task to re-educate people wherever and whenever we
can, despite the ill feelings all around us. It's about having pride
in who we are and exhibiting that pride whenever we can.
But more than all this, being gay is about
being yourself and feeling positive about it, despite all the
negative feelings all around us. It's about living your life the
way you want to live it, despite the messages of conformity around
us. It's about loving yourself as well as, and as much as, loving others.
|
GayCruz
- Coming Out
