Pedobear
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Pedobear or also Pædobear (not to be confused with Medved) is one of the more famous and long running 4chan memes. He actually originated from Japan, where he was called Kuma, literally "Bear". Being Japanese and since all things the Japs create are assumed to be giant pedophiles, the prefix "Pedo-" would be considered redundant in Japan. While Kuma was generally lecherous, Pedobear became the mascot for 4chan's legion of slavering pedophiles, specifically targeting prepubescent girls, or "loli". Like King Leonidas and Happy Negro, Pedobear is the subject of many bad photoshoppings, usually pasted into whatever piece of child pornography b-tards got their filthy hands on.
ATTACKS ON PEDOBEAR
B& from Gaia
A recent update from the retarded developers of Gaia made it so you can no longer say or post Pedobear pics. This is because the developers are cowards and don't want to be raided by Anonymous (though of course making such a declaration increases the likelihood that Anonymous will raid). So to be sure they're protected, they're going to put up curtains, add an advanced security system, put up phoneline trackers and BUYING FUCKING DOGS!
However, it is now known that Pedobear had infiltrated Gaia Online's servers some time ago. He can be seen by the sharp eyed to whistle innocently as he buys the little ones from vending machines and hits the forums with the intention of obtaining n00ds. See Gaia Online for more info. Pedobear is known to be secretely raeping Hannah Montana.
B& from Photobucket
"Pedobear is a violation of terms. We do not allow images of pedobear and we are actively removing all images containing pedobear.
Sincerely,
Your Photobucket Support Team
Online Help Center: http://photobucket.com/tips.php FAQ's: http://photobucket.com/faq Support Forums: http://forums.photobucket.com Support Email: support@photobucket.com"
BANNED FROM DEVIANTART
TheShadowmistress, who is described by her friends as a RAGING LESBIAN, thought it would a good idea to directly attack the internet hate machine by claiming that anyone who gazed upon Pedobear was supporting child porn, rape, and Child Molesting. Y Ironically, shortly after this deviant-art site was found by anonymous, an entire month of posts went missing, minus her post saying that those who rallied to defend our beloved fictional furry child molester were uncivil and she was going to ignore us. /b/ and anonymous has been seen preparing to defend Pedobear against these accusations.
The Battle Begins
Shadowmistress posted a comment stated that Pedobear supported child pornography and should have his image banned from Deviant-Art. Thus, memebers were enraged, and there was a massive battle of wits ultimatly ending in her hiding all comments she disliked, displeasing Anonymous.
On 15 November 2007, shadowy figures struck a mighty blow, though not even their heroic sallies of "UR TEH GHEY" or "Your a pedo" were able to stop her faggotry. No, she would not be content until she reported every single post of Pedo-bear.
The following day, 4chan struck again with slightly less force, but still enough to confuse deviantartlets wandering around the burnt-out wreckage of her Deviant gallery:
| — - chase24 |
| —- ~SOnicHerO100 |
'Tis truly a dark dark day for Pedobear; we have won the battle. Prepare for war. Recently there has been a rumor that Pedo-bear might actually be removed from Deviant-art. ONOES! Some Argue that this is a good thing. Most people disagree. However, there may be lulz if she is able to get Pedobear removed, since she is leaving The Internet permanently because her husband is returning from somewhere she is not clear about. Sources say that Anonymous has decided Not to raid DA, as if they are banning Memes It might result in less newfags. In reality it's because Anon is lazy. If Pedo-bear isn't allowed on DA, newfags will just post their art on the /b/ and /v/ instead.
Old media recognition
With the new animu striking TV's, we can at last see him starring in! It took a bit too long, but we made it!
 Pedobear as animu |
 The joy of teh... |
 Pedobear approves! |
A few of his favorite things…
Pedobear's favorite songs  | Pedobear's favorite videos  |
- Steely Dan - "Everyone's Gone to the Movies" - "Kids if you want some fun, See what you never have seen, Take off your cheaters and sit right down, Start the projection machine"
- The Doors - "Alabama Song (Whisky Bar)" - "Well show me the way, to the next little girl... Oh don't ask why"
- Bruce Springsteen - "I'm On Fire" - "Hey little girl is your daddy home, did he go away and leave you all alone? I got a bad desire, oh oh oh I'm on fire"
- Benny Mardones-"Into the Night" - She's just 16 years old, Leave her alone they said......If I could fly I'd pick you up, and take you into the night"
- Steppenwolf - "Magic Carpet Ride" - "Well, you don't know what we can find, Why don't you come with me little girl, On a magic carpet ride."
- Grateful Dead - "Good Morning Little Schoolgirl" - "Good morning little schoolgirl, Can I come home with you? Tell your mama and your papa, I'm a little schoolboy too."
- Depeche Mode - "A Question of Time" - "I've got to get to you first, before they do, it's just a question of time, before they lay their hands on you, and make you just like the rest, I've got to get to you first, it's just a question of time... well now you're only fifteen, and you look good, I'll take you under my wing, somebody should"
- Eminem - "Guilty Conscience (Acappella)" - "Yo, look at her bush. Does it got hair? (uhuh) Fuck this bitch right on that spot there.'Till she passes out she forgot how she got their.(Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie Kids?) No, but I seen the porno thats on nubiest!(Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?)Fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail."
- Simon and Garfunkel - "Baby Driver" - "Theres no one home, were all alone, Oh come to my room and play, Yes we can play! I'm not talking about your pigtails, But I'm talking bout your sex appeal..." Yeah, really.
- U2 - "Babyface" - "Babyface, Babyface
Slow down child, let me untie your lace...Bitter-sweet girl, won't you give me a taste..."
- Marilyn Manson - "Wrapped in Plastic" - "Daddy tells the daughter While mommy's sleeping at night To wash away sin you must take off your skin The righteous father wears the yellowest grin"
- Oingo Boingo - "Nothing to Fear" - "Hey little girl won't you come this way, Wont you let me buy you candy, or perhaps a chocolate shake, Or perhaps some nice cocaine, or perhaps a little kiss, Or perhaps a ride in my big car, Perhaps a ride in my big car, Wont you make an old man happy, Won't you make an old man happy, Wont you let me show you paradise(dont ask your mother for advice)"
- Faith No More - "Edge of the World" - " Come sit right down, Lay your head on my shoulder, It's not the point, That I'm forty years older"
- The Knack - "My Sharona" - "Never gonna stop, give it up. Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch of the younger kind."
- Scala Girls Choir - "I Touch Myself"
- Ozzy Osbourne - "Mr. Tinkertrain" - "Would you like some sweeties little girl? Come a little closer... I'm gonna show you a brand new world tonight! I've got a palace full of fantasy, ready made just for you and me. Once you're there I'm gonna take you for a ride..."
- Hey, well I'm the friendly stranger
In the black sedan Oh won't you hop inside my car? I got pictures, got candy, I am a lovable man I'd like to take you to the nearest star I'm your vehicle baby I'll take you anywhere you wanna go I'm your vehicle woman By now I'm sure you know That I love ya (love you) Need ya (need you) I want to, got to have you child Great God in heaven, you know I love you -- Vehicle, The Ides of March
- Alan Price - Simon Smith and his Amazing Dancing Bear (a.k.a. when Pedobear turns into a faggot)
- Cher - Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves - I picked up a boy just south of mobile, Gave him a ride, filled him with a hot meal, I was thirteen, he was thirty-one
- Shawn Colvin-Suicide Alley- Sitting naked by the window in the middle of the night, I can see you wearing your halo, If only in the daybreak of the dirty streetlight, I know baby wasn't born to follow.
- Stone Temple Pilots - Sex Type Thing
- Tool - Maynard's Dick "Would you like to climb on, Climb on my six inches and go down on Maynard's dick"
- Tool - Third Eye "Came out to watch you play. Why are you running away? ... On my back and tumbling, Down that hole and back again ... in.. out.. in.. out.."
- Tool - Prison Sex "(little girl:)I was so young and vestal then, you know it hurt me...I've got my hands bound, my head down, my eyes closed, and my throat wide open. (Pedobear:)My lamb and martyr, you look so precious. Won't you come a bit closer, close enough so I can smell you. I need you to feel this, I can't stand to burn too long. Released in this sodomy. For one sweet moment I am whole...Got your hands bound, your head down, your eyes closed. You look so precious now. I have found some kind of temporary sanity in this shit blood and cum on my hands."
- Guns 'n' Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine
- Winger - Seventeen
- Michael Jackson's Thriller - I mean, we all know what thrills him. Amirite?
- Deadsy - Itsy Bitsy Titsy Girl
"Oh, itsy bitsy titsy girl, where are you? Oh, itsy bitsy titsy said our love was true. Oh, my itsy bitsy titsy, so young and so unused.
Now, itsy bitsy titsy plays a mean hop-scotch. As she does her little ditty, I can stare at her crotch. Oh, my itsy bitsy titsy, little queen of double dutch..."
- Marylin Manson - Smells Like Children - particularly 'Everlasting Cocksucker' (cake and sodomy) and 'Abuse Part 2'.
- Alexandru Bognibov - "I Love The Girls" - "I love the girls of thirteen years old, Thirteen years old and nothing else, me baby"
- Mustard Plug - Lolita - "Lolita, I wanna meet ya, I wanna take you in my arms and squeeze ya"
- Three Six Mafia - "Loli Loli" - "Loli, loli, loli, loli, let me see you park that body."
- Toy-Box - "Wizard of Oz" - "I am searching for the magic land. Follow me, my girl. (Okay.) Do you have to touch me with your magic hands? It's part of the ritual. (Hey, hands off, Mister!)"
- Marcy Playground - "Sex and Candy" - What, you need any moar of an explanation?!
- Bloodhound Gang - "The Bad Touch" - Pedobear ain't nothin' but a mammal.
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uF0WdIbt0-s Jethro Tull - Aqualung] - Sitting on the park bench, eyeing little girls with bad intent.. Watching as the frilly panties run. (I have a painting of the titular character on my wall that my aunt painted in 1972.)
- Rooney - "Daisy Duke" You're too young for me but I can keep a secret. I'm in total control of the situation. Bow down daisy duke.. I'm sorry for cuffing you to my bathtub.
- Dr. Hook & The Medicine Band - "Only Sixteen" She was only sixteen, only sixteen. But I loved her so.
- Ringo Starr - "You're Sixteen" You're sixteen, you're beautiful and you're mine. CARRIE FISHER IS IN THIS VIDEO! FAP Fanboys FAP!
- Rush - "Digital Man" - He's got a force field and a flexible plan, he's got a date with fate in a black sedan, he plays fast forward just as long as he can, but he don't need a bed, he's a digital man.
- Steely Dan - "Everyone's Gone To The Movies" - Kids if you want some fun, Mr. LaPage is your man. He's always laughing, having some fun, showing films in his den. Come on, come on. Soon you will be 18, I think you know what I mean. Don't tell your mama, your daddy or mama, they'll never know where you been. Everyone's gone to the movies, now were alone at last.
- Sting - "Don't Stand So Close To Me" - Inside her, there's longing. This girl's an open page. Book marking - she's so close now. This girl is half his age.
- Throw Me The Statue - "Lolita" - Do I need to explain?
- You know of moar. Please add them.
Gallery
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See also
- Pedopals
- Mark Foley
- John Mark Karr
- irish282
- Madeleine McCann
- Shotacat
- Young Tubers United
- Interpol Hunt SwirL-Face
- Gaia Online
- Peter Sotos
- Too old; DO NOT WANT!
- Andrew Erickson
- Uncle Anon
External Links
- FINALLY! A PEDOBEAR CLUB!
- Pedobear T-shirt!
- Pedobear merchandising
- IRL Pedobear tries to molest girlscout
- Pedobear explained
- Pedo Pedo Pedo Pedo Pedo Pedo Loli Loli
- Pedo Bear's SheezyArt page
- Pedo-pedo-pedo-pedo!
- Pedobear makes his presence on GodTube.
- If he knows what's good for him, he'll stay out of Maine.
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Pedobear is part of a series on Child Abuse. |
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