Jackasses as far as the Eye Can See
After days of watching news coverage of the New Orleans-cum-R'lyeh tragedy, one fact has become painfully clear: teeming hordes of jackasses are making the situation worse than it should be. Who are these jackasses? Here's a partial list:
- George W. Bush
The man has wiped his ass with every treaty and law that inconveniences his big-business cronies, but he can't use his authority to cut the red tape hindering relief? Texans are always bragging about how everything from the Lone Star State is bigger. Apparently, that includes worthless dipshits.
- Looters
Specifically, looters grabbing electronics instead of basic life-saving necessities . . . in a region devoid of electricity. Yep, nothing wards off dehydration, starvation, and dysentery like a half-dozen unusable Nintendo GameCubes.
- Shooters
Firing a rifle to let rescuers know your whereabouts makes sense. Firing your rifle at rescuers to get them to come to you is beyond stupid. Thankfully, the likelihood of this class of jackass contributing to the gene pool is likely to end soon.
- Race Card Pullers
Tens of thousands of people are in dire need of immediate care, and all that this group of retards can do is raise hell, because most of the victims are black. Here’s a clue, jackasses: when natural disaster strikes a city populated mostly by blacks, the majority of victims . . . [gasp!] . . . will be black. It’s not racism, it’s basic math.
- Politicians & Bureaucrats
Thank you, oh great and wonderful leaders of America. Due to your inability and unwillingness to cooperate, make split-second decisions, and put your own hides on the line to help your fellow countrymen, people are dying. Congratulations for inspiring dictionary publishers across the globe to add your names to the definition of “jackass.”
If you want to help the victims of Hurricane Katrina, donate. Money, food, hygiene supplies, blood, etc.; whatever you can spare, it's all in high demand.
OK, on to this month's issue . . .
The winner of the Mythos'n'Metal Contest is Stephan (who shall be called Stephan). Nobody has actually contacted said winner to let him know he won, but we'll get to that eventually. For his superior knowledge of old-school heavy metal and the Cthulhu mythos, Stephan will receive a demo version "Hymns of the Cthulhu Mythos."
In addition to our usual assortment of lists, reviews, and ground-breaking articles, this issue has an interesting new entry in the Mailbag and two new main features. One is Mythos Profiles, written by our newest staff member, Robert R. McLansdale. Each profile will feature a specific mythos personality or group (or thing), and should reveal bits of info previously unknown by all but the most accomplished mythos scholars.
The other feature is Cthonic Communities, containing interviews (conducted by Clark Ashton Lumley) of mythos maniacs involved with various Lovecraft-/weird fiction-based groups. This month's interview is with the masterminds behind the text-based mythos RPG Lovecraft Country.
As for the Mythos Covergirl gracing this issue's cover, she is Trixie Tillinghast, granddaughter of the late Crawford Tillinghast--the man who discovered a means to break down barriers to human senses and view strange entities from beyond. As you can see, Trixie has her grandpa's eyes.
Enjoy . . .
Edgar Allan Lovecraft
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