Author, dog owner, man about town. My published works include "The Mister Trophy" in Adventures of Sword and Sorcery, "Passing the Narrows" in Weird Tales, and various other print and electronic stories (yes, I am the "Mallara and Burn" author from SpaceWays Weekly).
Visit my webpage, read my insane daily rants, buy my books, and ogle my artwork at:
www.franktuttle.com
| Oh, a Shelty! So beautiful! I'm so glad you found him and gave him a good life. |
| I'm so sorry, Frank. I know he was a great friend. Take care of you.
-Linz |
| So sorry, Frank. It sounds like Duke was really lucky to have found you. |
| That was a beautiful eulogy Frank.
Sonya |
| *hugs*, Frank. |
| Thanks, everybody.
We enjoyed Duke's company for nearly 11 years. He was an adult when we got him, way back when; the shelter staff didn't know his age even then. He'd been seized from an abusive home, and though we never got any details it must have been truly awful. Duke would just curl into a ball and lie there. you could pick him up and he'd just go stiff. You could put him down and he'd just lie there. Put him down and walk away and come back and he'd still be right where you left him. He wouldn't growl or bite or even meet your eyes; he just went still. He was about to be put down, even though he was a beautiful full-blood Shelty. We took him in, and began the long process of helping him come out of his shell. And he did. Mostly. He was always leery of strangers, and I had to be very careful about raising my voice, even playfully, because that always made him drop and freeze. But he quickly realized that the other dogs were his friends. He even enjoyed a special place within the pack; Spot, my perpetually outraged Malamute mix, allowed Duke, and only Duke, to eat from her bowl and sleep on her bed. I think Spot knew somehow that Duke needed special privileges, and she granted them, for all of Duke's life. Duke had fun. He had many doggie friends and a good big place to romp and even if he never fully trusted humans again he grew to know that we loved him. Nasal tumors ended his life with us. He went peacefully, with assistance, yesterday afternoon. See ya again someday, Duke. Good boy. |
| Frank, So sorry to hear that :-( Best wishes to you and your family!
Sonya |
| Aw, Frank, I'm so sorry. That's so hard. I had to do that for one of my dogs years ago, and I had a really hard time afterward until someone pointed out that Schnapps had depended on me all her life to take care of her, and the last decision was just the hardest right decision, and she depended on me to make it to relieve her suffering. That helped. Still hurt, but it helped. Your doggie's been lucky to have a loving home and family, and you've been lucky to have your doggie. *hugs* |
| I'm sorry, too, Frank. |
| I'm sorry. |
| One of my dogs is pretty sick. Looks like we'll have a hard decision to make -- if not tonight, soon.
One of life's little cruelties is the short life of a good dog. |
| Sold two more pieces of art today -- Oggbother's Effective Fixative and the Shattered Staff of Camaray!
Which makes the rejection from "Damned in Dixie" easier to take. It was a very nice rejection; he called the story entertaining and well-written, just not what he was looking for. I gather the horror element wasn't strong enough. But any day that sees money coming in is a good day! |
| It is important that one refuse to feed the trolls, but it's also wise to refuse trollish offers of candy, too.
Just a general observation, not based on any recent posts, don't mind me, I do tend to ramble on at times. |
| Frank Tuttle;
Our only interactions have been dubious at best but your interest in 'wands' is one of my fundest memories as as a sculptor for over 30 years.
During the 15 years I apprenticed with Charles Dickson, Frank Cummings, Richmond Barthe, and John Otterbridge, I carved a number of such pieces. My original interest in King Tut's trappings as works of Fine Art lead me into the carving of quite a few such shaped and imagined works. Some are still held in trust to worthy collectors. I've always foun....
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| Woo hoo! I've got another commission art piece going -- this one is for a custom made case done up in Gothic antique style with a fantasy twist.
I've been bending some old barn lumber just so I could make a curved lid, like the one the client wants. It's not writing, true, but now I get to build things I've written about. Too, all the wands come with an Owner's Manual, which is chock-full of instructions on safe thaumic discharging and how to avoid temporal discontinuities and whatever else I can make up. The franktuttle.com website isn't selling much fiction, but it's proven quite good at selling fantasy art! |
| I wasted a good four hours digging through folder after folder of old story revisions, rewrites, scribbled handwritten notes so faded they were illegible.
I gathered up the obviously useless stuff and gave it a noble demise in the cast iron outdoor fireplace we set up on the patio. I'm ashamed to say the mass of paper burned merrily for about three hours. But now I have a nearly-empty file cabinet and a good chunk of shelf space free! It felt good to let all those bad old words go. Man, there was some horrendous stuff in there! |
| lol - I'm glad I'm not the only one who does stuff like that, Frank. And - oh yeah, I don't need trolls to do it, I manage to FUBAR all by myself. |
| Never mind, I found it. Trolls apparently stapled it to the back of a different contract.
It's a standard First North American Serial Rights contract, so know I *know* I'm in the clear. |
| Help!
I've done a dumb thing, and I'm hoping somebody here can spare me the chagrin of crawling to the editors of Weird Tales. Way back in 2000, I published a story at Weird Tales. A reprint opportunity may have just come up, but naturally I sought out the Weird Tales contract to make absolutely sure all rights have reverted to me. And, naturally, the contract isn't there. I have contracts dating back 10 1992, but the single one I actually need is nowhere to be found. I've done an Indiana Jones on every stack, folder, or crumpled bit of paper here, and though I have the acceptance letter and all the subsequent correspondence I don't have the contract. Does anyone here know what the Weird Tales stance on reprints is? Or have any other advice? The piece isn't sold yet, but this is driving me nuts. Thanks! |
| Well, it's been 155 hours and 23 minutes since I submitted my novella to Mundania Press. Not that I'm counting every second (See? Hours and minutes but NO SECONDS, I'm not obsessive).
I can only surmise that they are even now marshalling their financial resources in an all-out effort to make an attractive offer for my work. Man, those were some funny mushrooms on that pizza at lunch. Music seems so smooth now, so full of ones and sixes. |
| Be sure & take bottled water, and lemon drops or throat lozenges 'cause you'll be talking a LOT. Be sure your assistants staffing the table are reliable and won't back out at the crack of dawn Con Day. Have stacks & stacks of business cards available - some people take small amounts of money to Cons, hoping not to break their finances - but a sneaky little business card in their Con pack can remind them just how *beautiful* and charming your work - and the stories that come with them! is. (Ha. Parse THAT sentence!) |
| I can't remember -- have I mentioned how *very* nice it is to see you 'round the ol' Rumor Mill again, Frank? |
| Thanks, Amy!
I'm glad you mentioned staffing the table -- I hadn't even thought of that. |
| Hi Frank!
Yes, those items would be perfectly at home at most science fiction conventions, with the exception of highly literary conventions (Readercon, World Fantasy Convention, etc.) The bigger the con, the more expensive the dealer's room table is. Also, the dealer is expected to have someone staffing the table during ALL the hours the dealer's room is open, so it will seriously curtail your ability to socialize during the day, attend panels and other events, etc. Most dealers have at least two people so they can spell each other for meals and bathroom breaks if nothing else! Another option is to see if you can piggyback on someone else's table(s), where they get a small percentage of your sales -- kind of a consignment deal. Hope you enjoy your first con! Terry Pratchett is quite a draw! |
| I just found out that Terry Pratchett, Don Maitz, and Janny Wurtz are going to be in Memphis for MidSouthCon 25 next May!
I think I'm going to make this one my first convention. Anybody else hit the MidSouthCons? |
| If that's one of the exchanges you shared on the Mill, Frank, I remember it. Made me snort potato chips out my nose on more than one occasion. KILLER funny! |
| As tall as a Troll, Lindsey!
I am so pumped right now. My advance copy of "Scamorama: Turning the Tables on Email Scammers" arrived in the mail today. It's a book -- a real book, with fancy covers and full-color interiors and everything! The author is Eve Edelson, the ISBN number is 1-932857-38-9, and it will soon be available in Waldenbooks, Barnes and Noble, at Amazon, and at fine booksellers everywhere. I'm excited because one of my favorite exchanges between myself and a 419 scammer is featured in its entirety. The exchange takes place under the name of a fictitious identity I concocted just for scam-baiting, so you'll not see the name Frank Tuttle anywhere, but anyone who is NOT a Nigerian 419 crime-lord and is interested can email me via my website (given above) and I'll clue you in. The book blurb describes it this way -- "This book is about liars telling lies with compound interest to other liars. A struggle is being waged on the internet between criminals and comedians . . ." Those were the days! |
| Ooh, tall sandwiches! Frank, you literary genius!
So, er, how tall we talking? Like, cartoon tall? The sandwich that ate Skenectady tall? Just wondering. -Linz |
| At least the wait has a defined limit. And my towering ego, despite considerable evidence to the contrary, deems it unthinkable that any publisher would deem my submissions as anything less than a godsend.
Too, this is one of the best things I've ever written. It's got a scary haunted house, the walking dead, hot dames, big slobbery dogs, beer, and tall sandwiches. It just can't miss. |
| Good luck! Man, I hate those "If you've heard nothing, it's rejected" guidelines. I understand it from the editor's perspective, but I've had too much trouble with e-mail disappearing into the void, including the occasional acceptance.
As for the "debates," I do understand the urge, believe me :-) |
| You're right, Jim. I've already decided to cease, desist, and otherwise refrain from baiting or being baited by RSL.
I ought to know better, especially after surviving numerous violent forum wars. On a much more relevant note, I just submitted the book blurb and a synopsis to Mundania for a 23K novella. I used their online form, which was a first for me. Now I wait 30 days -- if I hear nothing, they've passed. Tick tock! |
| Frank,
As amusing as it is to watch you verbally shred Mr. L, a part of me wishes you wouldn't. This is someone who, after spewing essentially the same gibberish for several hundred posts, decided it was time to spam the Mill. The "copy/paste post after post every minute or two" approach. Eventually, he said he was leaving. That he lied is no real surprise, but personally, I don't want to give him any reason to keep coming back to masturbate in various topics. |
| Okay, RSL. You don't like me, I don't like you. I'll stay out of your personal thread, and you'll stay out of mine in the future. If we want to butt heads, let's do it in "Great and Useless Debates," or a similar open free-for-all thread.
Deal? |
| I only wish that were more of a joke.... |
| Blogging is a lot of fun. I had no idea when I started that the blog would wind up being so political. I shall remember these days fondly as I toil away in the re-education camp in the not-so-far future. |
| How did I not know you have a blog??? It's in my daily blog-check list now, bud, so look out. |
| Just a quick update concerning the selling of one's own printed works via one's own website:
1) BAD IDEA. 2) See #1 above. Actually, it's not really a bad idea if you enjoy tinkering around with HTML and keeping a blog current. That part has been fun. And while I haven't sold many (less than 10) books, I have sold one middling-expensive wand and wand box, and I have another client dying for a rustic wooden Tarot card case. So I can say the website has paid for itself for a couple of years, no less. My blog has well over a thousand regular readers! Many are from outside the US, and at any given time a few are highly pissed off. I even got a nasty email which indicated the US Army's displeasure with a blog concerning injured soldiers being sent home to have the Army sic collection agencies on them. I see you guys and gals are doing well! Hugo winners walk among us! |
| Blah! Message #483634 was me. Looks like I got logged out again. Hrm.
I have learned not to talk politics at the dinner table. As I get more impassioned in my speech, Charlotte joins in, pip-squeaking along in her baby babble and gesticulating wildly. She gets all riled up right along with me, and then requires extra time to calm down for her bath and bedtime. |
| Ah, if only some of them *had* been elected. Aside from anything about our Shrub, was Karl Rove elected? Good ole Scooter? Was he elected?
Crap. Don't get me started. |
| The guy gave me a good cussing for 'disrespecting the elected leaders of this great nation,'.
If only we could hook a generator up to a few founding fathers' graves we'd never lack for power again in this great nation. |
| Actually, as nutjob emails go, this one was pretty mild. The guy gave me a good cussing for 'disrespecting the elected leaders of this great nation,' but aside from casting aspersions on my parentage and sexual preferences he showed enough restraint to avoid threats and so forth.
Funny thing is, I'm pretty sure he was back today, reading the blog again! No more emails yet, though. If he does email again I may ask him to tone things down and do a Guest Blog in which he can freely rebutt my statements. Might make for a fun regular feature! |
| Frank, I'm sorry some nutjob felt it was necessary to send you hate mail. Ignoring said nutjob is probably the best course of action. Unless you can make a post out of shredding the grammar, spelling and poor logic of the e-mail. But that might attract more nutjobs looking for free critiques of their hate mail. |
| I got my first hate mail today!
The blog touched it off, naturally. First time I've ever been called so many colorful names in such a short email. I started to return it with a "Thanks, but your email does not suit our needs at this time" note, but decided to just delete it and move on instead. It's great how the internet makes it easy for people to expose themselves to differing viewpoints and then blow a gasket in a veritable plethora of F-bombs. |
| Hey, Linz--speaking of Mingus learning to behave as his people do--
Um--Sean doesn't get terratorial at other people's houses, does he? Just checking.... |
| It's a scary world out there, all right. Even for the lizards!
I figure my blog alone has already got me an big thick FBI file. |
| Thanks, Frank. That's a good idea. I'll try it.
By the way, your explanation for the current crop of dooftards makes more sense than others I've heard. Too bad we can't just turn them into lizards. Real lizards get so offended... -Linz |
| I do have one suggestion.
While he's visiting, keep the leash attached to your belt, so that he stays a couple of feet away from you. Any time he exhibits the precursors to marking (sniffing, sigling up to the target, etc) just say "No," once, and move away. I have seen that used to modify other behaviors, and it might just work for this. He'll hopefully learn to behave as his people do! |
| Yeah, Frank, he was neutered at six mos. So it really can't be that. Maybe if I just take him visiting and keep him on a leash the whole time for a few visits, he'll have to behave better. Then see how severely supervised unleashings go. Sort of thing. Thanks for trying, though.
-Linz |
| Lindsey --
I'm not sure how to handle the marking behavior. Has he been neutered? If not, that might help. But it might not. Sounds like you need "The Dog Whisperer" on this one! And Terry H., we got the current batch of political masterminds when a wizard in a nearby reality got rid of his own dooftards by sending them here. So, ethically, I can't do the same thing to some other unsuspecting reality, at least not without a lot of money. I'm afraid we're stuck, for the moment. So don't worry, Terry B., Texas stays right where it is. I don't have that much irridium handy anyway. |
| Could we just re-locate all the Texas idiots who let GWB get to the point where he could steal the White House, then? They'd do well on, oh, Mercury, I think. |
| Hey, wait on that relocating Texas stuff. I like Texas. I have three wonderful grandchildren in Texas. I'm probably going to retire to Texas.
As for Mississippi mottos: "You ain't gonna tell ME what to do." |
| Hey! Mississipi stole Idaho's mottoes!
Except we vote just like Utah, and you forgot, "I rack up my points on a buck." Uh, not very good hunting pun there.... Linz, that naughty Mingus! |
| Hey, Frank, you're the guy with the dogs, as I recall. I have a dog behavioral question for you. My two year old lab-chow mix, Mingus, is generally a pretty well behaved dog. Well, except for the lab part. (over-exhuberance in greeting and eating.) But when we bring him over to someone else's house, especially if that person has pets of any kind, he marks turf. By peeing. He'll do the same whenever he manages to get down into our basement, but not anywhere else in our house that he's not usually allowed to go. I'm not real sure how to break him of the habit, and I just wondered if you had any suggestions. At this point, we're just not taking him visiting anymore.
-Linz |
| "Don't mess with Texas."
"Don't tread on me." Both state mottoes for Texas, I believe. Which made me wonder what my state, Mississippi, has for a motto? Some suggestions: "I'll have all that fried, please." "What inspection sticker, Officer?" "Naw, we'll just vote like Tennessee, thanks anyway." "Of *course* I've got a gun-rack." |
| It's because of the oil - you end up getting all sticky, and that stuff just *never* comes out. Not that I would know, of course. Ahem.
-Linz |
| Besides, doesn't someone say you should never mess with Texas? |
| Terry, I promised not to mess with the landscape after that little misfire at Mount St. Helen's. Who knew kraken oil was so reactive in full sunlight? |
| If you get Tippi Blevins & Molly Ivins out of there first, you could relocate Texas, I wouldn't mind. To, like, Hell. |
| I swore off relocation spells the last time an aircraft carrier ran aground right in the middle of my azaleas.
Man, those things make a mess. Sailors sure can cuss! The tornado sirens just went off, but I see no wind, feel no rain. The sky does look spooky, though. It's the color of an old wound, but sunlight peeks through here and there. |
| Poor Frank. Um, try not to do anything crazy during the storms, will you? Like, try to use their energy for any of your relocation spells, and accidentally create a giant hole in the universe where Kansas used to be, or anything. Dorothy can't come home if Kansas is gone.
I'm just saying. -Linz |
| This is a first. Schools all around this area have been dismissed because of storms so bad they caused evacuations *before they've even formed.*
NOAA must know something I don't. In other news, my digital camera died! I've got another wand and a staff nearly ready to go up on the website, so instead of finding another used camera on eBay I bit the bullet and ordered a brand new FinePix S5200 --which was promptly put on backorder status with an expected ship date of two days before the Sun goes dark. Ack. At least it's Friday. |
| Got my reject back from JJA at F&SF; yesterday. Didn't grab him, this time.
Nobody has won my free book for this week at www.franktuttle.com . Go on over and give it a try! I've got a blog, too, if anyone is interested in seeing an actual mental meltdown in progress. |
| Hey gang! And Frank. Listen, you wouldn't happen to have the vestigial tail and short, knobby horns that run in my branch of the Tuttle family, would you?
If so, we should compare notes on tailors and hat-makers. I'm glad to see the Mill back. I feared bad things for it, when I couldn't get in a while back. Not one single merchant or restauranteur agreed to take part in "Haunted Oxford," so I guess that's a dead project, ha ha. Their loss. I have a website of my very own now, along with a domain name! Please stop by and visit me at www.franktuttle.com and decide for yourself if what local law enforcement alleges is true. I've got a blog that's already landed me on the "No-Fly" list. I'm also running a context for free junk, and Rumor Millers will be given preferential treatment. Writing stuff: I mailed off a brand new story to F&SF; last Friday -- and the local college campus media prodcutions office has exprtessed an interest in actually filming "The Powerful Bad Luck of DD Dupree." That would be awesome. So how are all you guys and gals? |
| Egad. TWO Frank Tuttles? Are we in ANY way ready for this?
Maybe the one who posted #481307 will use his middle initial, or something... Hey Frank, did you disappear on us again? How's them non-ficition ghost stories coming? (What I *really* want to know is, are you writing up the story behind *getting* the stories because I bet you've got some hum-dingers before you're done...) Terry |
| Can the world live with another writer named Frank Tuttle? I've yet to be published, but feel strongly that some confusion is on the horizon for the literary world. No worries, though, Frank, I'll leave your genre alone. Sincerely, Frank Tuttle. |
| Frank! Man, have I missed you. Big hugs to you. And it's great to hear that you survived the hurricanes and are still writing... The world is not the same without Frank Tuttle to liven things up.
Hmm |
| Hey Lori! And thanks to you Roach! |
| Hey, Frank! Glad them gators are lacking in Tabasco-jones!
Aeon is great, and one thing that's great about them is they get their stuff out for review. I got a mention in Locus cuz of them. It gives me a past glory to relive. law |
| There's been discussion of Mundania over at AbsoluteWrite's Water Cooler: here and here. |
| I'm running a contest at DeviantArt.com for book cover and interior art.
Maybe If i'm lucky I can get some great stuff to use when I submit the book. (also, a story having "fanart" already is a big plus) Oh and yes, I'm covering my little rear end carefully, and not publishing one word, and reminding my entrants not to disclose what they have been sent. Oi... Copyright laws suck. I feel like a stingy old guy. |
| The ghost stories sound like fun, Frank. I'm glad you're back (still? continuing? puppet-mastering?)in the writing game. Gladder still that the lack of tobasconess kept you from becoming gator-feed. Watch out for that cheese, though.
I won't clutter up your topic with my goings on or lack thereof, but I just posted a bit in my topic about "Snakes on a Plane," a new Samuel Jackson flick due out this summer. "Snakes on a Plane," man. It's the most beautiful title. I thought you, of all people, would appreciate its beauty. There seems to be a huge cult following based on the title alone. What's it about? Snakes. On a plane. Dude. -Linz PS yes, David, silliness is my normal state. But I try not to be so overt about too often. I like to keep people off balance. |
| No worries, Samantha. As a lifelong Frank, I know all the frank jokes anyway!
So what is everyone working on? I'm pondering a temporary move to nonfiction -- well, that depends on your point of view, I guess. I'm working with a couple of local papers , placing ads, trying to entice local business owners (mostly eateries and bars, Oxford is packed with both) to relate to me their own tales of ghostly goings-on. I've seen a couple of local small press books about the town pop up of late, and since here in the Deep South every structure larger than or older than last summer's bird-nest in considered haunted, it seems like a worthwhile gambit. And there's nothing like a rep for being haunted to bring people in, so the owners would come out ahead, too. And it gives me a chance to prowl around with an EVP recorder and an EMF meter, which is always fun. We'll see. In the meantime, I just finished a piece destined for F&SF; (first stop) once I do an edit. |
| (Desperately tries to think of witty "frank and beans" joke, gives up in depair) |
| Hey Terry! It's good to be back. |
| Hi Frank! Good to see you back. (Sorry, no "frank" jokes."
Terry Bramlett |
| Let's all be frank. Because, frankly, I appreciate frankness in all matters.
Hey Sam! |
| Your being rather frank about this, don't you think?
=David |
| Frankly, yes! |
| Gee Sam, you sound Frankly Delighted. |
| Frank! FRANK! |
| Not that I've actually SOLD to them yet, but hey... ;) |
| Thanks Melissa! They look like a great market. |
| The Aeon folks are great. I sub to them and have had only good experiences 'Fraid I know nothing about the other one. |
| I've got a lot of catching up to do. I hit Ralan's today, and saw a few new markets.
Anybody got a take on Aeon or Mundania Publishing? I looked, but didn't see any topics for either. |
| I beg your pardon, I'm just so all a-flutter that you're back, my silliness is taking over. Ahem.
-Linz Sure had me fooled, I thought that was your normal state. =David |
| Hey Linz! Good to see you!
I was nearly eaten by a gator, but the voracious reptile realized, at the last moment, that he was out of tobasco. I was then able to make my escape, disguised as the Andrews Sisters. |
| Frank, it's good to know you haven't been eaten by gators, or fried authors, or dead catfish. Or cheese, for that matter. In case you have the voracious kind.
I beg your pardon, I'm just so all a-flutter that you're back, my silliness is taking over. Ahem. -Linz |
| Or fried authors and dead catfish. Either way, it's warm. |
| Nope, Martin, I'm in Oxford, Mississippi, in the US.
It's a hot, muggy Southern state, famous for dead authors and fried catfish. |
| Is that the Oxford Frank, as in Oxford UK? |
| Hey Terry!
What are you up to these days? |
| It's wonderful to see your shiny pixels, too, FrankT! Please don't wander off again...! |
| So, how has everyone been?
I'm still in Oxford, still at the same job, still herding an ever-growing pack of dogs. My SFF.NET account is defunct, sadly, though I may renew it next month. I've been out of touch for so long I hardly know where to start. It is good to be back, though. |
| Now he's back, from outer space.. Just walked into the rumor mill with a strange look upon his face. Oh he spent so many nights, hung up with that writers block, not no more, he's in for such a shock! |
| Frank! Where the heck ARE you??? We miss you, bud! |
| Frank, is your SFF.NET account working (i.e. did you get my e-mail lst week?) If not, e-mail me back: shenderson(number zero, number one) at earthlink dot net.
The evil plot is afoot! |
| Success! I am now double-gating the kitchen doorway: the wooden accordian gate stayed, and after the cats are upstairs and Mingus is in the kitchen, I put the tension gate above it. The top of the gate is then at about 5 feet, which Abby either can't or won't jump over. Reggie, of course, has no trouble at all and has the run of the house, which is fine (as long as I lock up the freezer and cupboards).
But Mingus has not (so far) pulled down the tension gate, and he didn't poop in the kitchen, and although he did pee, he kept it to the paper. Yay!!! Progress in housetraining! And Abby is safely upstairs, and Mingus can't chase her. Reggie still can, but she's pretty used to that by now. And I don't feel nearly so guilty leaving him penned in the kitchen. He has his crate and toys, there are cool spots to lie down, he's less likely to knock over his water, and he can avoid lying in his own pee. Thanks for your advice and help. I've been feeling in over my head, and it's always good to get perspective from others. -Linz |
| Frank, I've sent an e-mail to you sff.net address. I am assuming it's working! Can you let me know if you don't get it? |