Hal Turner
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Harold Charles Turner (born March 15, 1962) is a 5'2" 180 pound white supremacist known for his conspiracy theorist tendencies and constant lying on his Internet radio program, the Hal Turner Show. Typical of white supremacists, Hal is also a closet furry whose wife wears the pants in the relationship. He is a white supremacist because he got butthurt in an election against a Mexican-American. Hal also demonstrates an exceedingly low IQ, likewise characteristic of white supremacists. He has been featured on Fox News calling on people to assassinate judges who bagged a neo-nazi. He gets into fights with local politicians and anti-racist organizations all the time, but for some reason has the most trouble against Legion.
Much like Hitler and Kramer, Turner's media career began with regular call-ins to the Sean Hannity radio show.
[edit] Breaking News - Hal Uncovers Secret Plot by the Insurgency and g00ns
As Hal put his site back up today he stuns the world by uncovering a plot by /i/ and g00ns to sell israel and US Military technology to the highest bidder!
[edit] The Turner Chronicle
On December 20th, 2006, Hal Turner was supposed to air his final talk show, allegedly due to a lack of funding. As such, a massive 7chan/4chan/YTMND/Ebaumsworld raid was planned to show Hal what the world really thought of him. During the course of this three-hour show, almost 150 prank calls were made. Since Hal has an on-air delay of 30-60 seconds, most calls did not make it on the air. However, they clogged the lines so that his "legitimate" caller base could not get through.
[edit] The Aftermath of the Show
Hal felt butthurt after the show and cried in his hugbox for several hours. Then Hal decided to do the intelligent, adult thing and post all the prank callers' phone numbers on his website, encouraging his fan base to strike back. Since many of the calls were made using CID-spoofing techniques with Linux technology, most of the numbers were invalid. However, the few legitimate ones turned out to belong to minors. Gradually, Hal's Merry Band of Retards translated a few of the phone numbers into addresses in the comments section of his website.
Since this was not within the accepted norms of the Internet Community, the channers called upon Bantown ruin legends to compile and deploy Hal Turner's documents. This included his criminal record, housing details, former locations of residence, etc. Among these details was Hal's real home phone number, culled from public records.
A channer then phoned Mr. Turner to inform him of this: HalTurder.mp3. During this call, it was determined that Hal's wife, Phyllis, had more of a spine than he did, and definitely wore the pants in the relationship. When Hal actually got on the line, he did not speak, instead simply listening before hanging up.
As Hal did not comply with the simple request of removing the phone numbers from his website, his detailed documentation was released to the channers, and was posted to full-disclosure, as is Bantown Standard Operating Procedure. Allegedly, after this information was released, over 150 calls were made to Hal thanks to the miracles of Linux, BSD and the wget God.
[edit] The Aftermath of his Stupidity
Hal quickly folded, and removed the information from his website. While this would usually mean victory for the channers, one must understand that the point had to be driven home. Calls to his residence continued until Hal and his wife stopped picking up the phone. During this time, all content was removed from Hal's website and replaced with the text "Merry Christmas." Additionally, the dox given to CHAN ENTERPRISES LLC. were posted to several White Power forums, leading to much ridicule of Hal, even by his own supposed fan base.
[edit] Christmas 2006 - To Be Remembered
Hal's family was determined to be spending Christmas at Hal's father's residence. Hal's father's dox were quickly obtained and deployed to the channers. Some details are unclear at this time; however, there are some theories that Hal's wife kicked him out of his own house.
[edit] Continued Idiocy
Hal has begun posting death threats against the people involved in his ruining. Hal then took his 'index.html' down, put up a fake error message called "FBI REDIRECT" and a meta redirect to the FBI's site. Hal claimed that the FBI took his server to investigate the attacks of Anonymous. An Anonymous called the FBI about Hal's allegations, who said that Hal Turner was "full of shit." On his next radio show, he continued to repeat this lie, despite being proven wrong. HalturnerFBI.mp3
[edit] Official Raid Loli
A girl named Rebecca ("Frecka" on IRC) called his home and recorded her talk with Hal Turner. She proclaimed she was 14 years old, and when he asked why she was recording this phone call, she proudly announced "I'm recording it for the lulz!" After making further threats of violence, he said he was sorry he "wasted his time on a child," before making erotic suggestions involving her being "slapped around." She now resides on IRC as the official Hal Turner raid loli. Listen here. Raidloli.mp3
[edit] Seven Days Later
Hal, after losing massive support in the white supremacist movement on boards like VNN, decided he was going to have his regularly scheduled show, but one hour less. His show has, thus far, been full of lulz. He brought his alleged "mom" on the air, who used the word nigras live on the radio. He tried to evoke sympathy, portraying Anonymous as the wrongdoer, saying that his dox were pulled for no reason, not mentioning the death threats. At 9:34 EST, he announced that if he does not get more donations, he will be forced to turn off the show, as he has been "broken." Anonymous immediately declared victory in an orgy of spam.
Actual quote from the show: "At 9:41PM, on the East Coast of the United States, it looks like they have succeeded." At 10:03PM EST, he referred to this show as "quite possibly the last show." Later, his friend Artie Wheeler called TOW a fag encyclopedia. A /b/tard called in undetected, and spouted various /b/tard memes, such as "shoop da whoop", "cockmongler", and "chargin mah lazer." Btard.mp3 At 10:36PM EST, Hal said that he received an "extortion" threat, saying unless he apologized to the pranksters, his friend Yankee Jim would be next. Jim said that he is a "big boy" and ready for it. Hal exercised his legal expertise and started talking about extortion lawsuits.
Hal invited anyone who is generous to mail cash, check, or money order on this show. Please contribute:
Hal Turner
1906 Patterson Plank Road.
North Bergen, NJ 07047
Near the end of the show, he thanked all his attackers. Speculation is that it's because he converted to Judaism.
[edit] January 3rd radio show
Hal's show on the 3rd was entirely made of fail. The stream continually went down until about 1/3 through the show, it went down and stayed down. A reliable source from a reputable background claims that this is because a hacker named Slogh had a personal grudge against Hal Turner and launched a botnet attack against him. As a result, his ISP is alleged to have dropped him completely for excess bandwidth usage, so he will need to find a new one to host his site. However, Hal Turner promised he would upload his show to his web site for the people who couldn't hear it.
[edit] The Invasion Theme Song by Hep
| “ | The lives of a lot of your ilk are going to be turned upside down and I will be the one making it happen. | „ |
| —Actual Hal Turner quote from a threatening e-mail | ||
Now this is a story all about how, Hal's site got flipped, turned up side down And I'd like to take a minute, just don't go yet I'll tell you how Hal became the Fresh Prince of Snugglenet IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIn eastern New Jersey born and raised On the internets were where he spent most of his days Chillin out, maxin, racists are cool Postin on some vboards full of Nazi ghouls When a couple of chirpers who were up to no good Started making trouble in his e-neighborhood They made some little crank calls and his dead mom got all scared And said UR MOVING TO LIVIN IN JEWVILLE ON BLOGSPOT IN GOOGLEAIR He whistled for his mob but it came near The license plate said 4chan and there were lolz in the mirror If anything you could say that this own was rare But the trolls came together, yo holmes he's on-air! I turned on his stream about seven or nine But all I heard was "more money!" in his whine Looked at my kingdom I was finally done To sit on my throne, Anonymous has won.
To the tune of "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air"
[edit] HalNotes(tm): Death threats and more courtesy of Hal Turner
[edit] Drama Rant Posted on his Blog's Front Page
------------- Hal Turner scoffs: The AOL Police? Big fucking deal. THe U.S. Secret Service has been "monitoring" me since the year 2000 because of the things I say about the President and VP The U.S. Marshal Service has been watching me since 1997 when I started make life uncomforatble for federal judges. The FBI Joint Terrorism Task Force has had me in their sights for more than three years as have the New Jersey State Police (Office of Counter Terrorism). Do you REALLY think I give a shit about AOL? Think again. Do you know why those law enforcement agencies watch me so closely? Because they KNOW I hurt people; they just can;t prove it. THey KNOW homes and businesses have been fire bombed becuase of me; they just can;t prove it. They KNOW a federal judges family was killed in Chicago because of me; they just can't prove it. So you and your pals just keep fucking around. YOU TOO can become just another part of a long string of people I have "dealt" with. Hal Turner
[edit] Death and Bodily Harm Threats
-------------- Hal Turner warns: The ONLY thing any of you are accomplishing is raising the level of brutality I intend to use when I take revenge. Here is how I will mete out justice according to the action committed: 1) Some of you are going to get the shit beaten out of you. 2) Others are going to be beaten to death, and finally; 3) Others are going to have firebombs thrown through the windows of their houses WHILE THEY ARE HOME and when they - and their families come out, their throats will be cut. This is the price I will exact for : 1) Harassing my wife (who has nothing to do with my radio show) 2) Recording the harassment of my wife and putting it on the net and 3) Harassing my senior citizen mother. I am so motivated to to physical violence to these people that I don't even care to state my intentions publicly. Neither cops, nor Prosecutors, nor Judges will be able to stop me. Hal Turner
[edit] Continued Threats of Bodily Harm
----------------- Hal Turner responds: You are sadly mistaken. I meant every word and I absolutely will carry out every word. Nothing on earth can prevent it. You dare say I put myself in this position? Fuck you. You guys called MY show. You guys Crank Called and threatened MY wife. You guys crank called and threatened my mother. I didn;t start this, but I will God Damned well finish it. Laugh all you like. We'll see how hard you laugh when my hand is crushing your windpipe and you're drowning on your own blood. Hal Turner
[edit] Even More Threats and Lies
After the list above was published, the perpatrators of the original attack upon my show, found and published the home telephone number for my family. Around 5:00 PM yesterday, my wife began receiving call after call from people harassing her, threatening to rape her, threatening to rape and kill our 12 year old son. The calls continued, non-stop, for hours. They even went so far as to RECORD a harassing call and put the audio from that call on the internet, in violation of state and telephone harassment laws and in violation of state and federal electronic eavesdropping laws! That single act added another felony to the legal action I am taking against the entire crew. Then, things got despicable. My 12 year old son answered the phone and the caller told him that they were going to kidnap him, rape him then murder him. My sone has never, ever, been party to my radio show or public life. He has never attended any public funtion with me and to threaten him has caused me to decide the glove scome off. I have always known that I am a public figure and that folks would criticize me. I have lawsys been prepared for that. I knew early-on that I had to suffer the slings and arrows of spirited public villification and I was prepared for that too. But to target my wife - a woman who has absolutely nothing at all to do with my radio show - and my son - a 12 year old - crossed a line. Then, in an act of utter depravity, the perpetrators of this effort, gave out the home telephone number of my 62 year old mother in Pennsylvania, and began making harassing and threatening calls to her. My mom has nothing to do with any of this. She's caring for my step dad as he recovers from leukemia. To call here and threaten to rape, beat and kill her is an act worthy of death. Snce the law doesn't seem to matter to these scumbags, then I won't let it matter to me as I undertake revenge upon them for going after my wife, child and mother. There is ONE possible method for preventing my revenge upon you: Tell me the names and addresses of the people involved in threatening and harassing my son and mother. I will forgive the harassment of my wife if you give to me the identities of the people who went after my son and mother. Cooperate, and you walk. Fail to cooperate and I will punish you with a fury you have never encountered. Hal Turner
[edit] Hal is a liar
He claims VIA the vnn forums that his mother is NOT the one that is dead, but his father is. But if you will recall, he claimed his mother was taking care of his sick father? Will these lies ever end?
According to some of the VNN forums, he also said that his mother is dead in order to gain donations. Can you please keep your story straight, Hal?
He claims a *channer, who prank called him, was beaten up in Australia by Neo-Nazis. HOT
[edit] Internet Armageddon
Criminal Charges Filed Today
This web site was attacked with a severe Denial of Service Attack!
The attack launched data at more than 196 MegaBits Per Second!
While the attack could not crash the server, it DID "rape" my bandwidth by costing me $1800 in data flow charges in a single day!!
My attorneys are in the United States District Court in Newark, NJ right now (12:00 noon EST on Tuesday, December 26, 2006) filing criminal charges against "John Doe(s) 1-100" for:
Violation of 18 United States Code, Sub-Section 1030
(Computer Fraud and Abuse Act)
in that they "knowingly engaged in activity" against my "protected computer" which "is used in interstate commerce" for "communication" with the intent to "deny availability" of the system and its data, AND;
"Extortion" in that the persons engaged in this attack wrote in several places they would not halt the attack until they got an apology from me and until I closed down my show, AND;
"Racketeer Influenced Corrupt Organization" (RICO) charges against 7Chan.org, 4Chan.org and Ebaumsworld.com in that these places enabled, aided and abetted through their sites, an ongoing criminal conspiracy to commit the crimes listed above, AND;
"Criminal Copyright Infringment" in violation of the Digital Millennium Copyright ACt (DCMA), by intentionally thwarting my archive subscription system by recording and posting to MegaUpload.com an archive of my Dec. 20 show, AND;
"Transmission of threats via interstate communications" in that I, my wife, our son and my mother were REPEATEDLY telephoned and threatened with physical attack by persons using SKYPE and other internet-based communications systems. Crank calls, harassing calls and threatening calls were received all day Christmas Eve, throughout Christmas Day and continue to this very moment!!!
According the the "International Convention on Cyber Crime" The European Union will cooperate and honor U.S. Subpoenas to compel SKYPE (based in Luxemborg) to release Customer information such as originating IP addresses, and/or customer information of folks who used that service to launch the telephone acitivites. ALL of them will be caught and prosecuted.
As soon as the charges are Docketed, my lawyers will move for "Ex Parte Discovery" to issue federal subpoenas to a whole slew of companies to obtain customer names and addresses for the individuals involved in these criminal acts.
Every single individual involved in this attack will be caught, prosecuted and then sued civilly for what they have done. I will not stop until I catch them all and bring every single one of them to court.
As of this morning, a hardware packet sniffer has been installed outside my server. It is presently capturing and logging EVERY IP address being used to connect to this machine, since the Denial of Service attack is resuming! EVERY IP will be captured, EVERY ISP will be notified and EVERY compromised machine being used as an "attack bot" will be physically disconnected from the net. EVERY person involved in attacking this site will be caught, proscuted and sued no matter how old they are, no matter what country they are in.
[edit] Fun Facts About Hal Turner
- Hal Turner runs his show, including the website, out of his
houserat-infested basement in a tenement slum. The net cost to him is negligible, as he's claiming squatter's rights. - Hal Turner owns an expensive 2005 Lexus ES330. "Owned" = "Stolen".
- Hal Turner's Lexus has curb feelers because he's too iliterate to know that "Lexus" isn't the same thing as a "Lac".
- Hal Turner has a coke habit, and while high he accidentally sucks dicks. Whether he spits or swallows is still undetermined.
- Hal Turner's home is registered under his wife's name.
- Hal Turner's wife runs his shit.
- Hal Turner's wife is actually a Thai ladyboy.
- Hal is a 5'2" 180 pound midget who has been mistaken by many
illegal immigrantswetbacks as the legendary Chupacabra. - Hal's wife, Phyllis Turner, is 5'7" and weighs in at 270 pounds. DOB is 6-21-66, and she is allergic to watermelon. Send her several for Kwanzaa, now, y'heah?
- Hal Turner is gay.
- Hal Turner is not White
- Hal Turner is retarded.
- Hal Turner is unemployed.
- Hal Turner owns a hugbox.
- Hal Turner is a furry (redundant with the above four points).
- Hal Turner's "penis" is actually a rabid Mexican dwarf who bit him in the crotch during a scuffle at a gay bar, spurring his hatred of spics.
- Hal Turner's license plate says "Fresh" and has dice in the mirror.
- Hal likes making posts that keep increasing the font size
[edit] Early Conclusions
Hal often publishes personal contact details of judges, state officials and even local officials who make decisions he doesn't agree with, especially in cases of White Supremacists. And as expected, when given a dose of his own medicine, Hal immediately cries foul, visits his hugbox and then mewls endlessly about being butthurt. His loyal buttplug-wielding army of black skinheads applies copious amounts of love and lube to him, before engaging in a fierce gay orgy punctuated by shrieking orgasms and subsequent spontaneous combustion (known as firebombing among homosexual bigots). The fire department stopped responding to his calls a while ago.
[edit] Hal's Lawyer Emails 7chan
(Actually, it was Hal himself who emailed 7chan, but apparently he has a squad of lawyers at his beck and call so don't fuck with him.)
Date: Thu, 21 Dec 2006 09:45:22 -0500 From: Hal Turner <Host@halturnershow.com> To: abuse@multacom.com, DMCA@multacom.com, legal@multicom.com, Abuse@7chan.org Subject: Felony Criminal threats, Civil Copyright Violations, Felony Conspiracy to Disrupt Interstate Commerce via your servers. . . . . Sirs: Please accept this communication as formal legal notice of criminal activity in violation of several federal laws, being conducted through your service and computer servers at IP address 66.152.175.23 By this e-mail you are requested and required to SEQUESTER - pending the arrival of a federal subpoena - all computer server logs and internet protocol/presence (IP) information for all users of your services at the following Uniform Resource Locator (URL) , which took place between 9:00 PM eastern U.S. time and 11:59 PM Eastern US time on Wednesday, December 20, 2006 as publicly logged at * http://img.7chan.org/i/res/49259.html* Persons utilizing your service at the above URL and corresponding IRC Chat channel(s) engaged in criminal conspiracies and violated several federal laws last night as follows: Transmission of a threat via interstate commerce, to do bodily harm, in violation of Title 18, United States Code (USC) Section 875 (c), by posting the following threat to rape my family: >> Anonymous 06/12/20(Wed)21:01 No. <http://img.7chan.org/i/res/49259.html#49527>49527 <http://img.7chan.org/i/res/49259.html#i49527> HAL TURNER'S FAMILY'S GONNA' GET RAEPD BY A BUNCH OF NIGGRAS!!! In addition to the violation above, a second user posted a second threat to crack my skull open as follows: >> Anonymous 06/12/20(Wed)21:23 No. <http://img.7chan.org/i/res/49259.html#49587>49587 <http://img.7chan.org/i/res/49259.html#i49587> File: 11666786054049587.jpg <http://img.7chan.org/i/src/11666786054049587.jpg> -(/42 KB, 800x563/) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 49587 <http://img.7chan.org/i/src/11666786054049587.jpg> Hal is getting owned. He's fucking oblivious. In furtherance of the threats above, a third participant/conspirator posted my HOME address so as to enable the previous threats to be carried out, as follows: >> Anonymous 06/12/20(Wed)22:21 No. <http://img.7chan.org/i/res/49259.html#49665>49665 <http://img.7chan.org/i/res/49259.html#i49665> Hal Turner 1906 Paterson Plank Road North Bergen, NJ 07047-1900 USA needs moar boxes While the threats were being made, other users of your service announced they were willfully violating the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) by making recordings of my radio program and offering those recording to the public for free, thus intentionally thwarting the subscription service I implemented for such audio archives as follows: >> Anonymous 06/12/20(Wed)17:18 No. <http://img.7chan.org/i/res/49259.html#49306>49306 <http://img.7chan.org/i/res/49259.html#i49306> i record the show every week so there will be a rapidshare url about 12:30-12:45am eastern time. After announcing their intention to violate my Copyright and the DMCA, they did, in fact, perpetrate such violations as posted here: >> Anonymous 06/12/20(Wed)22:31 No. <http://img.7chan.org/i/res/49259.html#49668>49668 <http://img.7chan.org/i/res/49259.html#i49668> http://www.megaupload.com/?d=5BZKPNX8 Full Show rip In addition to the crimes above, the users of your service then conspired to maliciously disrupt my talk radio show, which is intentional disruption of Interstate Commerce, as evidence by the following: >> Anonymous 06/12/20(Wed)23:25 No. <http://img.7chan.org/i/res/49259.html#49688>49688 <http://img.7chan.org/i/res/49259.html#i49688> i recorded the show thank me later http://www.megaupload.com/?d=5BZKPNX8 NEXT WEEK 100X THE RUINAGE I WANT HAL TURNER HIMSELF TO COME IN THE IRC CHATZ TO WHINE IF YOU'RE SCARED, REG A NICKNAME /MSG NICKSERV REGISTER PASSWORD FAKEEMAIL THEN GET A VHOST /MSG HOSTSERV REQUEST WHATEVER.HALTURNERSHOW.COM HES SUCH A DUMBASS HE'D THINK SOMEONE WAS HACKING HALTURNERSHOW.COM AND USING HIS SERVER FOR EVIL USAGE. If the criminal acts and violations listed above weren't enough, other users of your service are conspiring to commit FRAUD by impersonating me and having goods, services shipped to me and fraudulently billed to me, as evidenced by the following: >> Anonymous 06/12/20(Wed)23:30 No. <http://img.7chan.org/i/res/49259.html#49692>49692 <http://img.7chan.org/i/res/49259.html#i49692> Also Fire up tor. Sign him up for free shit that gets sent to his house. STD info, Viagra/Cialis samples, ANYTHING you can think of, magazines, cd/movie clubs, boxes, etc. He will post shit on his website about the flood of shit coming to his house and whine next week. ALSO GET FEMALE CALLERS (I KNOW ITS HARD FOR YOU GUYS). BORROW YOUR COOL MOM, SISTER, AUNT, FEMALE FRIEND, GIRLFRIEND, JUST HAVE THEM TALK FOR 30 SECS THEN HAND OVER THE PHONE TO SHOUT YOUR SHIT OUT. I'm personally a racist and anti-semite, however Hal Turner's audience is the rebel flag flying, beer drinking, beer can crushing on the head, 33" mud tires, wife beating, daughter raping rednecks. It gives intellectual racists a bad name. Last, but certainly not least, another user of your service posted false and defamatory accusations about me as follows: >> HAL TURNER Anonymous <mailto:YAHOO@YAHOO.COM> 06/12/21(Thu)01:53 No. <http://img.7chan.org/i/res/49259.html#49747>49747 <http://img.7chan.org/i/res/49259.html#i49747> HAL TURNER IS A CHILD MOLESTER GUYS YOU ALL DIDNT KNOW THAT HE BEEN HANGING OUT ON MY SPACE.COM AND HAS HIS PIC ON THERE CHECK IT OUT YOU WONT BELEIVE IT UNTILL YOU SEE IT I own the Turner Radio Network and host a very popular talk show on that network. I intend to use the full resources of my network to launch criminal and civil actions against every single offender mentioned above to make an example of them. To that end, you are hereby requested and required to sequester server logs and IP addresses of the users identified above, pending the arrival of federal subpoena(s) Please be advised that willfully discarding such information after having been notified herewith of pending criminal and civil legal actions, would be Obstruction of Justice and Destruction of Evidence in violation of other federal laws. In addition to Sequestering logs and IP information, I also ask that you enforce you Acceptable Use Policy and/or Terms of Service by immediately revoking the ability of such users to continue violating your rules in the future and by removing the material above from public view. Thank you, Hal Turner Owner TURNER RADIO NETWORK 1906 Paterson Plank Road North Bergen, NJ 07047-1900 USA Tel: 201-484-7809
[edit] Hal and his Wife's Detailed Dox
*******************************************************************************
____ _ _ _ _ _
/ ___| | | | / \ | \ | |
| | | |_| | / _ \ | \| | ENTERPRISES LLC.
| |___| _ |/ ___ \| |\ | "i herd u liek mudkipz lol"
\____|_| |_/_/ \_\_| \_| -- PRESENTS --
*******************************************************************************
FULL DISCLOSURE: Harold Turner -- White Supremacist, Hate Monger, Liar, Mongrel
This document is the result of extensive research by the private infosec firm
CHAN ENTERPRISES, LLC., conducted under extensive private funding provided by
Eric Bauman and Max Goldberg and their associates.
This report is divided into several key sections:
1. Contact Information
2. Family Information
3. Criminal Record
4. Previous Addresses/Points of Contact
5. Other Relevant Information
*******************************************************************************
1. Contact Information
Full Name: Harold Charles Turner
Age: 44
Date of Birth: March 15, 1962 - or - August 19, 1962
Current Home Address:
1906 Patterson Plank Rd. Unit 1A #10P
North Bergen, NJ 07047 - Google Maps: http://tinyurl.com/yf7ssl
Note: Address is registered under wife's name (see below)
Current Automobile: '05 Lexus ES330, color Gold
Plates: State of New Jersey, Plates 3N3-N8H
Phone Service: Vonage
Home Phone Number: (201) 348-8388
*******************************************************************************
2. Family Information
Wife: Phyllis A. Turner (Beatrice)
Misdemeanors on file:
* Parking Ticket, '05 Lexus ES330, plates 3N3-N8H
10/12/2006, issued at 13:04:51
issued by Leah Shultz for an amount of $14.51
in Hoboken, NJ
Issued near Sinatra Park, East Street @ 3rd.
*******************************************************************************
3. Criminal Record
Summary:
13 Domestic Violence complaint
1 Animal Cruelty complaint
1 Speeding Ticket
2 Additional red flags on record.
As well, Mr. Turner has a sealed juvinile record. This data was unavailable at
time time of this writing.
Note with regards to red flags: A red flag signifies that criminal charges are
being pressed at present, and further information is unavailable from the
Department of Justice.
Summary of Domestic Violence Complaints:
- Generally loud yelling heard by neighbours,
- one instance was unknown person screaming, upon police arrival nothing
substantial was found.
Animal Cruelty Call:
Witness said they observed Mr. Turner "punt" a small dog from his front lawn
onto his patio.
July 19th, 2006 at 16:31, police arrived on-scene at roughly 17:00.
*******************************************************************************
4. Previous Addresses/Points of Contact
PO. Box 58, Titusville, NJ, 08560
1721 Wood Terrace Circle, Atlanta, GA 30340
147 Mt. Vernon St, Ridgefield Park, NJ 07660
1721 Wood Terrace Circle, Doraville, GA 30340
5044 Airline Rd, Dallas, TX 75205
*******************************************************************************
5. Other Pertinent Info
Tax Information: Property was assessed at $3,349 for the tax year of 2004
Improvement Value: $67,500
Land Value: $19,900
Known Relatives:
John J. Turner
Dominic Turner
Janice Turner
Kathleen T. Turner
******************************************************************************
____ _ _ _ _ _____
| _ \| |__ _ _| | (_)___ |_ _| _ _ __ _ __ ___ _ __
| |_) | '_ \| | | | | | / __| | || | | | '__| '_ \ / _ \ '__|
| __/| | | | |_| | | | \__ \ | || |_| | | | | | | __/ |
|_| |_| |_|\__, |_|_|_|___/ |_| \__,_|_| |_| |_|\___|_|
|___/ moar like major breadwinner, amirite?
CHAN Enterprises presents: A disturbing expose on the fiscal backing of
Harold C. Turner's antics.
Background Info:
Harold Charles Turner has not worked in over 6 years that CHAN
Enterprises was able to determine. As such, the majority of his
idiotic antics are supported by his wife. Us hard working sleuths
at CHAN Enterprises have discovered a shocking document, documenting
the fiancial mismanagement the Turner family, in the form of a
disturbing United States Bankruptcy Court Form B1. This is a CHAN
Enterprises exclusive.
Subject: Phyllis A. Turner (nee Beatrice)
SSN: 135-42-2613
1906 Patterson Plank Road, Unit 1A
North Bergen, NJ 07047
Occupation: AXA Equitable Life, New York, NY
Salary in 2001: $5,714.00
-> Deductions : $2,268.00
-> Take home : $3,446.00
Dependants: Turner, Harold Charles (spouse)
Turner, Michael (son, 6 years of age in 2001)
BANKRUPT: Filed 02:19 PM, July 02, 2001
Power Profile:
Lives in a condominium at 1906 Patterson Plank Rd, Unit 1A
Property owned by subject.
Total assets at time of filing: $9,750.00
Mortgage at $69,001.00 at time of filing (original: $87,400)
Creditors:
15 Credit Cards ranging from JC Penny's to First USA Bank
Total owed: $88,163.00 (whoa.)
This has been a CHAN Enterprises production. Special thanks for financial
support goes out to Eric Bauman (ebaumsworld.com) and Max Goldberg. Without
their contining support these efforts would not be possible.
[edit] Hal just gives up
this is the updated version, posted just after the above screen shot was made Sunday, December 31, 2006 My web site has been turned off
I regret to announce that my web site has been turned off. The attacks against my server proved to be "disruptive" to the entire Class 1 data center in which it was housed.
I am, as of now, DEFEATED. Off the Internet except for this (highly-content-restricted) blog, off the air, dead in the water - with remaining invoices for thousands of dollars in bandwidth (intentionally used by the attackers,) on their way for me to pay.
I have been completely and totally destroyed by attacks emanating from a criminal conspiracy of people at 4chan.org, 7 chan.org, ebaumsworld.com, nexisonline.com and others. These criminals attacked my server relentlessly for ten days. This was criminal and civil Tort under 18 USC 1030, the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act. They publicly and repeatedly told me they would not stop unless I agreed to shut down my web site and shut off my radio show. This was blackmail; criminal felony Extortion. I would not give in. They called my house hundreds of times a day with crank phone calls. This was unlawful telephone harassment in violation of state and federal laws. They placed phony orders for hundreds of dollars in Pizza from Papa Johns, and two other local Pizza shops, DEFRAUDING those companies who delivered those unwanted pizzas to my house. The orders were placed by internet and by telephone meaning the perpetrators committed 3 counts of WIRE FRAUD. Today (Sun. Dec. 31) alone, three separate Chinese restaurants were defrauded by these same fake orders for food to be delivered to my house. The fraud was perpetrated by telephone, making it 3 more counts of WIRE FRAUD. They placed fraudulent orders worth tens of thousands of dollars for supplies of shipping boxes, envelopes, labels and packing slips to be delivered to my house from DHL and Ebay. These companies shipped these supplies thinking I had applied to be a new agent of theirs, only to find out when the shipments arrived that the whole order - placed via internet - was faked. These four for five separate fake orders for shipping supplies came in via internet, making the perpetrators guilty of four or five more counts of WIRE FRAUD. Since the EBAY supplies arrived via U.S. Mail, the entire fake order constitutes MAIL FRAUD.
The criminal actions of these people have destroyed my web site, my radio show and my web site hosting company. The owners of the web sites 4chan.org, 7chan.org, ebaumsworld.com and nexisonline.com were all told these acts were taking place.
Despite being told these activities were ongoing and being organzied via their web sites they did NOTHING to stop it. I even went so far as to contact their web hosting companies who did NOTHING to stop any of this.
In my personal OPINION, I believe their lack of action makes the owners of those sites accessories to the crimes listed above -- but that is just my opinion.
The "Abuse" departments at many of the ISP's took days to respond and even longer to act. In the end, most did little or nothing.
The criminals operating out of 4chan.org, 7chan.org, ebaumsworld.com and nexisonline.com have also publicly announced their intentions to do the EXACT SAME THING to:
VNN and its forum Stormfront The Prussian Blue Web Site James Wikstrom's web site
The IP Addresses which attacked my server with thousands and sometimes even hundreds of thousands of connections were:
removed because they don't matter at all.
I am not certain where to go from here. My entire existence - short of my physical presence on this planet - has been utterly wrecked, by people I never met from places I've never been.
Hal Turner 1906 Paterson Plank Road North Bergen, NJ 07047-1900 USA
secret 12@optonline.net
posted by HalTurnerShow.com @ 5:10 PM
it's all clumped up because the formatting would make the text be too fucking wide and go off page
[edit] Homosexual Leanings and Coke Habit
About five years ago, Mr. Turner allegedly struggled with a coke habit and homosexual tendencies. For more information.
[edit] Hal Declares Victory Again
On January 1st, 2007, Hal claimed to have tracked down two channers, a 15-year-old and a 19-year-old. According to Hal, the 15-year-old was grounded from using the internet for "a while" by his father. These claims have yet to be verified because they are false.
Meanwhile, white nationalist ally Von Bluven claimed on his blog that "chan7.org" was down, which is true, since no such website has ever existed. He also identified ED as one of the sites used to "harass" Turner, although he did not specify whether or not he believed ED to be a faggery daggery doo encyclopedia company. See his blog entry. At any rate, Von Bluven's sites were later targetted for attack.
[edit] Secondary Targets
The Vanguard News Network, another white nationalist site, also had its forums attacked. Members responded with characteristic impotence and alleged that some of the attacks were coming from the Anti-Deflamation League. "I think a group of assassins has already headed in that direction to take care of the ADL problem," wrote one VNN member. "Of course, anywhere where the ADL is situated is fair game." It was unclear whether or not any members of the Anti-Defamation League were actually killed by assassins or simply defamed by them over the internet.
Later, VNN member and alleged boytaur Yankee Jim expressed his desire "to go to Youtube one day and see a couple of these jackasses getting beaten repeatedly, over and over and over again with oil soaked oak table legs." It is speculated that he will get his wish as soon as Turner manages to locate a video of an unrelated backyard wrestling tournament filmed two years ago.
On January 5, 2007, 7chan briefly redirected either to the FBI's site or that of the Computer Crime & Intellectual Property Section of the United States Department of Justice for the lulz, and because trevorchan broked. It was eventually fixed.
[edit] WHERES MAH CHECK
There are indications that people who use Encyclopedia Dramatica can't read.
7chan briefly redirected to Internet Police HQ, paralleling Hal Turner's FBI redirect, as a joke. When 7chan's home page came back up, the following message was stickied on /b/:
"As many of you know, a certain "raid" that was started here has gained lots of attention over the past few weeks. This "raid", targeted at Hal Turner of Hal Turner Radio, was actually a plan that was devised by Buri-chwan, former 7chan admin, and Hal Turner himself. The details of the plan are that 7chan offered Hal Turner notoriety with the *chan communities [as most of them are filled with white supremacists anyway], and, unknown to us, donations, in exchange for an extra server to ease the pressure on our current, overtaxed servers. As the community is open to pretty much any type of discussion, we couldn't exactly stop this so-called raid from happening, so we decided to play along. Couldn't hurt, right?
What we didn't count on was the few "out of the loop" raiders attacking other sites, such as Bill White's [aka overthrow.com owner]. Apparently, Bill White took offense and ordered his own fans [ps3 hueg numbers] to take down our site, which, as you know, has happened.
Apologies to all parties unintentionally harmed by this mixup. We are no longer in this with Hal [since, apparently, this is a scam on his part, since he received over $1,000 in donations].
- Matt"
The clever folks at 7chan managed to take away the last of Hal Turner's fanbase/donators, and make a new meme. 7chan got overthrow.com to post that Hal Turner extorted donations from his fans, and ended any remaining Turner fanboyism that was left after the bulk of the attacks. I also learned what gullible means.
Once it was too late, Hal Turner responded:
"Bill White is once again simply making things up. He has quite a track record of doing exactly that.
There isn't one iota of truth to what Bill has written in his claiming the DDoS was setup in any way by me.
I do not know anyone at any of the web sites that perpetrated this series of attacks. I did not talk to anyone about doing the attacks.
Bill White simply doesn't know what the hell he is talking about. He is a has- been who is trying to weasel some publicity for himself and his pathetic web site out of the issue involving me.
Hal Turner"
Since this announcement, Hal Turner has reported on his at least 100 percent factually accurate website that he has received at least 100 dollars in donations, which he will use to pwn everybody who partook in the lulz in internet court. He will report said donations to the IRS in at least 100 years from now. The sauce is not linked to because Hal blocks at least 100 percent of all traffic to his site.
Some argue that the arrest of sick fuck Kevin Strom for CP was directly caused by the lulz ensueing on Hal Turner's show. Argument for this theory goes like thusly:
1) Kevin Strom decides to investigate the Jews attacking his white brother Hal Turner.
2) Kevin Strom winds up on not4chan and sees "a questionable picture on that message board."
3) Kevin went on just one pedo site and his wife got scared, and said, "You're movin' with Bubba in a prison near Bel-Air."
4) His wife whistled for a van and when it came near, The license plate said B& and it had hammers on the mirror.
Jewish /b/tards and /i/nsurgents will occasionally suggest a final raid against Hal to make him so butthurt that he leaves teh internetz, but everyone else ignores their Illuminati propaganda because Hal Turner has become an old meme. Hal Turner has provoked a ton of interest in himself as a result of his lolsuit.
[edit] The Lolsuit
As posted on his website, Hal Turner has brought a "lawsuit" up against 4chan, 7chan, and other places of faggotry, such as Ebaumsworld who want to take credit.
This has allegedly been filed in US courts, based on these sketchy PDFs he put on his website. In these PDFs, not only does he make many typographical and grammatical errors, but also refers to:
- IP address as Internet Presence Address (good going, Hal, 10 keystrokes could have saved you this on Google)
- Anonymous' unique ability to travel through time with a flux capacitor and 1.21 jiggawatts to harass him in the future on December 23, 2007.
- How he was "BANDIWDTH RAPE[ed]" over Christmas.
Among many other lulzy catchphrase potential materials.
Lolsuit dox: *his actual "complaint"
[edit] Update
As of Monday, Jan 22, 2007 - the lawsuit HAS been entered into PACER. Case/Docket Number: 2:07-cv-00306
[edit] THE STORY SO FAR
Hal's 25 page crayon screed of a complaint was read by a judge, and the cause of action that the lolsuit currently stands under is COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT. That's right, a copyright case - not "bandwidth rape" or any kind of "national treasure" or his dead mother or father. Top attorneys at LOL suggest that the suit was entered as "copyright infringment" on the mercy of a judge who was giving his "pro se" litigant charge some benefit of the doubt.
Hal has also filed a motion for a temporary restraining order and a preliminary injunction against all of the websites named as defendants. The documents relating to this case show that Hal came in and gave a statement that was essentially a verbal summary of the "charges" in the 25-page complaint. This motion was DENIED by the district court judge.
As Hal will likely continue to allege various causes of action he has apparently heard of one time in a sticky back-issue of Hustler Magazine as opposed to copyright infringement, expert attorneys at LOL believe the lolsuit will end up in the heeper shit by Friday.
[edit] Removal of Content
On Monday 22nd, Hal did the natural thing for him to do - pussy out of a situation when his stupid plan has been foiled. He fails to notice that when something has been posted on the internet, it stays on the internet for at least 100 years.
In order to protect himself from criminal charges for threatening to bomb the White House with a jet, threatening to crush people's windpipes, posting at least 100 of anonymous' contact information on his site and more, Hal deleted all content on his site, not realising that all of it had been cached, and that he could be sued for creating fake federal documents.
All have come to the conclusion that Hal should either be in prison or an insane asylum.
It has also been revealed that, instead of costs amounting to OVER 9000 dollars, the actual bandwidth rape that was unleashed upon him should have cost around $100, according to his service provider.
[edit] 7chan Fails
On January 24th Ian received an email from his datacenter about the content hosted on /i/, Ian looked over their TOS (something the faggot probably should've done when he first signed up with them) and realized that "every thread in /i/" was breaking their TOS. So Ian did the pussy thing and removed /i/ from 7chan.
[edit] Hal Turdner Kicked Out of Datacenter
According to a post on VNNForum, the data center hosting HalTurdnerShow.com has kicked him out due to continued DDoSing of his website.
Although very butthurt, Hal promises to find a new DC and be back up by Monday. Related article on Overthrow.com.
More information straight from Hal himself can be found on his bloggggge.
[edit] Hal is Homeless on the Interbutt. AGAIN
Thanks to the efforts of Anonymous, Hal was removed from his latest data center in less than a day since the contents of his show and site broke their AUP. A butthurt Hal has yet to comment on the situation, but expect plenty of lulz to arise from the situation.
[edit] Car Crash, lulz
Apparently, he found a new datacentre, only to get in a car crash whilst trying to get there. He may have been driving his Lexus that he supposedly didn't own.
[edit] Hal just gives up, again.
On February 1st, 2007 Hal Turner made a post on his Blog stating that he "Will no longer be talking about this issue, in the hopes that it will die down" No one believes him, and more lulz are expected to arrise out of his latest surrender.
[edit] Hal Just Gives Up Again for the Last Time
On February 8th, 2007, Hal Turner posted on his blog again, this time with a far more serious concession. In it, he claimed that nobody loved him, his listeners were wimps, nobody sent him money, and ultimately that the only solution was to quit the internet forever.
[edit] Hal Declares There is still hope
After previously claiming he was leaving the internet, Hal claimed the New York Times contacted him twice regarding an interview about his decision to terminate his online presence. (why the New York Times would give a shit about this remains to be seen, but since it came from Hal's mouth you can expect it to be bullshit) Shortly after he posted another blog entry claiming a 4th Datacenter had refused to house his server. And that "the search contines..." even though he had previously stated only a few days prior that he was through with the internet and that lack of "listener support" was causing him to remove his presence online. He then claimed $680 came in the mail from listeners and that "there is still hope" He then posted yet ANOTHER blog entry claiming another $415 came in the mail and that there's still hope! It's obvious he's trying to make it seem like his "threat" of leaving the innanet has saddened many people who are now giving their monies to Hal Turner so he can stay on the internet. He then goes on to complain about how 1300 people download his show every week (most of whom are obviously legion) and that only "20 people donated" LEECHES!
[edit] Hijackery Dackery Doo
On Saturday, February 10th, Hal brought forth his most absurd claim yet: The infamous KKKanadian KKKommunist KKKirtaner had hacked into his websites in the name of pedophilia, changed his registration, and forced the domains to redirect to 420chan.org. As usual, Hal was shown quite quickly to be full of shit: a quick WHOIS search revealed that, quite on the contrary to his claims, that Kirtaner had not changed his registration to anything similar to "420CHANENTERPRIZES".
Since his host claims that their database was last updated on February 10th, this also casts severe doubt on Hal's other claim--namely, that the restoration of the nonexistant theft would take three to five days.
On February 12th he posted an update on his blog stating that his hijacked sites were RECOVERED (Hal likes to use BIG capital LETTERS for words that DON'T require THEM. No one KNOWS why this IS as YET.) And that his hosting company had forwarded detailed logs to the "appropriate authorities for legal action."
[edit] Hal declares victory again
As of February 18th, Hal Turner reenabled his site temporarily, but refuses to put on an internet lulzshow. He also will not be providing the call-in numbers for his 'Satalite radio shows', nor will anyone be able to purchase rights for his audio archives. Hal is butthurt. He also claims EVERY SINGLE ISP has released subscriber info without A PROBLEM! Hal expects people to believe ISP's turned over the information of over a thousand of their subscribers to some faggot with a copyright infringement lawsuit, a faggot who is defending himself because Hal can't afford a lawyer. Hal claims he won't release the info so no one can claim any harm was done to them, this is obviously bullshit because if Hal ever got hold of even the tiniest amount of information he would release it in a heartbeat. He also claims he's preparing a lawsuit in Canada, presumably against Kirtanter (even though 420chan was ownd hard by Perverted Justice. PROTIP for /i/: Learn who you can fuck with and who you cannot. wget doesn't bring down everything under the sun, and stop trying to raid Google you idiots) It is expected that Hal will perform his usual removal of content and claim that the ISP's renegged on giving up subsriber info, because of course, they are JEWS.
[edit] More Turner lies and bullshit
On February 21st Hal posted an entry on his website claiming a HOUSE FIRE WRECKED HIS MOMS HOME. Her beautiful little home suffered CATASTROPHIC damage, surprisingly Hal claims there was no sign of arson or foul play, this is very uncharacteristic of Hal as he blaims everything on the JEWS. Anonymous quickly unearthed the real story, and uncovered Hal's bullshit lies, Another story can be found Here
[edit] Moot did it, lol
From Hal Turner's site, an alleged comment from Moot
Moot » Remember how you said you were gonna burn down the houses of the e-attackers? Payback's a bitch, eh? 02.21.07 - 8:52 pm IP: 66.215.14.119 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hal Turner says: "Moot" is the owner of one of the web sites being sued by me over the attacks against my web site. The e-mail address is also correct for that person. I suspect the federal court and Jury will be hugely interested when this is introduced as evidence of the malice of that site and its owner. MomsHouseFire
The email address was admin @ 4chan.org.
[edit] Real Life Raid
Some Anonymous decided that it would be fun to have an IRL raid on Hal on 4/21, right after An Hero Day. However, in order to avoid getting FBI, fun things such as guns, bombs, and anything that goes "BOOM" are prohibited. Instead, it will at best be a bunch of nigras eating fried chickens and shouting "DESU," or at worst, a couple of embarassed /b/tards not quite knowing how to be social. Hal, in his victim mentality, claims that this protest will be violent and called for his redneck friends to defend him because he is scared shitless. This will provide lulz because Hal has even fewer friends than the average /b/tard. Some responsible Anons are getting Eye on Hate and One People's Project to make the event larger and filing requests with the North Bergen police. A forum has been established for discussion of the real life raid here.
[edit] March 7th lulzfest
This week's show was more of a circus than anything. To see the condensed shownotes, click here.
During the show, Hal focused mostly on the upcoming protest that will be on 4/21. He talked about his plans on handling the protest, including joining the crowd and wearing the nigra garb. Then he started talking about the possibility of the /b/tards joining a hispanic nationalist group, La Raza. Then he read emails, and read an email from Shiahgo a pariah troll, who thinks he is cool. Shiahgo ranted and talked like a retard, and even Hal Turner thought he was nuts. Shiahgo mentioned having La Raza join in and have the MSM's protection.
The truly lulzy portion of the evening was when Hal took calls. Hal listed to all the calls, including a call from Kirtaner of 420chan, The Shining, Shiahgo, Yankee Jim on how much he loved pool's closed, fake moot, and many other legendary calls.
An archived copy (small size, 22mb) can be downloaded here.
[edit] Hal Wants you to play Quake
Hal posted the IP address for the 420chan Quake server over his show on March 21st 2007.
[edit] Aryan Cyber Militia
Hal's latest hair-brained get-rich-quick scheme is to recruit members for his Aryan Cyber Militia. For a mere $20, Hal will send you a CD-ROM jam-packed with Windows software that will:
- cloak your IP address;
- hide your MAC address;
- and, attack the website of your choice.
When you send your money order to hal, make sure to indicate that you are requesting the "CYBER-ACTIVIST CD"; otherwise, hal may think that is a donation. He also requests your email address, to coordinate the efforts of the Aryan Cyber Militia.
[edit] Hal's IRL Raid Plans
According to a post on Hal's website[1] (dated 4/15/07), Hal enlightened his followers as to what he will do about the IRL Raid on the 21st of April. The summary is as follows:
- there is a raid going to be conducted "against" his house
- the raiders don't have a "Permit from the Town to protest, they have NOT applied for - or received - any permit"
- the raiders are
- "anti-racist-action holligans" (this just in: Hal either invented a word or is dyslexic)
- "OPP" (yarly)
- "EyeOnHate crowd"
- "roving bands of savages"
- New York chapter of SHARP[2] - 250, not the ones from New Jersey
- supposed "threats" that he has received
- as precautionary measures
- will have "significant weaponry to be deployed in [his] home, around [his] building and have assigned several highly trained teams to take up strategic positions in the neighborhood to be able to put down any trouble from a distance"
- wants people to bring guns because hes afraid that his mom will get scared and send him to live with his auntie and uncle in Bel-Air
[edit] Hal Zimmerism
"HI, I’M HAL TURNER, FOUNDER AND MANAGER OF THE TURNER RADIO NETWORK. WHY JUST YESTERDAY I WAS SITTING WITH MY SUPERB SON AS HE SUCKED MY STUPENDOUS SHINING SWORD OF GLORY WHEN FROM THE DOOR I HEARD AN BLUSTERING KNOCK, AT WHICH MOMENT MY ADORED ANAL ACQUAINTANCE ARTY BURST THROUGH IT, "WHY HELLO HAL" HE SCREAMED AS I SPRANG SWIFTLY TO SCOFF AT HIS STALLION SIZED SHOWBOAT BY WHICH TIME MY FLAP FERVENT FRIEND PAUL GELLAR HAD PLUNGED INTO THE FLAVORSOME BURROW OF MY FRESHLY FORCOME WIFE WHILST MY SON PROCEEDED TO PLEASURE THE WAVERING WAND OF YANKY-JIM AS HE SCREAMED AN EAR-SPLITTING SONG OF SATISFACTION, BUT DO NOT BE JEALOUS OF THIS FANATICALLY AROUSING ARENA FOR I WOULD DO AS MUCH FOR ALL SUCH FOLK WHO APPROACHED WITH BENEVOLENCE MY NINE-FOOT NEGRO NEUTRALIZING BATON. I GUARANTEE IT."
[edit] IRL Raid
At least 100 people are declaring the raid an epic fail while a number of /i/fags are trying to save face by calling it a win. Two fags came and hung out near the party van, ambulance, and two cop cars there and later two ugly traps looking for weed showed up and hung out with Hal and his supporters. Absolutely nothing happened. Ther was no mustard gas, no remote controlled planes, no rocket launchers, nothing. Hal had a gun at his waist and everyone was very polite and laughed at themselves and each other. As many predicted, it was the biggest hyped non-event of the century.
However, Hal Turner can't have that. Later that night he made an update to his site declaring that the traps infiltrated Anonymous and were working for Hal. This is bullshit because one of the traps is an op on 420chan's IRC and is editing this ED page right now. Hal was caught in another lie yet again. Hal and his supporters then began speaking of a non-existent group of stupid Anonymous who raided the wrong house. This is more bullshit because none of those raiders have posted and the traps didn't find them (as they were still in search of weed).
Lulz were produced from this raid but not nearly to the extent of the hype and mostly due to Hal being his usual attention-seeking whore self. However, he declared that the best two minutes of his life were caused by nonexistent Anonymous raiding the wrong house, proving how Hal has no life.
==
[edit] ANONYMOUS DECLARES VICTORY OVER HAROLD C. TURNER
ANONYMOUS DECLARES VICTORY OVER HAROLD C. TURNER Anonymous 07/04/21(Sat)23:57 No.32882
NORTH BERGEN, NJ, Apr. 21, /PRNewswire/ -- In what's being described as the most epic of all raids, ever, against anyone, spanning all time, Anonymous participated in a real-life raid against Internet comedian Harold C. "Hal" Turner on Saturday.
"It's a beautiful day for messing with the greatest Internet troll of all time," said Anonymous #2103, his erect, throbbing penis glistening profoundly in the morning sunlight. "I first learned about Hal when he posted that bogus story about government keyloggers inside Dell laptops. Little did I know he'd grow from such humble beginnings into the sexy, full-blown bag-o-laughs he is today."
Raid Ops Manager #3, a nigger, commented on the management team's planning: "You see, the genius behind this raid was that it both existed and didn't exist at the same time. A true-to-life 'grey area'. And we certainly didn't want to give up any names on a permit."
After his fat black lips took a bite of Kentucky Fried Chicken, he continued, "We knew that we had to provoke Hal, but Internet hilarity only takes you so far. What better way than to have the entire police department show up at his place and have him on pins and needles for the entire weekend? You always get the best laughs out of Turner when he's cornered. Listen to his last few shows. No, actually, just check out his website today! That's pure gold, man!"
As of this writing, the manager's assessment about Turner's reaction seemed to hold true, with over 90.00% of Turner's website dedicated to topics other than white nationalism.
Remarked Anonymous #1286, "I saw him! I actually saw the guy! Jesus Christ, has he put on weight." When asked why he was surprised at Turner's appearance, the Anonymous replied, "I thought we'd have the slick, youthful, clean shaven, shirt-and-tie wearing, voice of the common man Hal, you know? His hand perched flirtatiously on the desk, headphones on backwards, and eyebrows raised with playful allure as he talks valiantly into his oversized overhead 90s microphone. Not some balding, squinting fatass who looks as defenseless as they come."
Another member of the management team, ambiguously homosexual Raid Ops Manager #2, lisped that Turner "lacks the mental capacity to deduce what will succeed and what will fail. Everything comes up roses in the mind of Hal Turner. A really intriguing plus for us was that this effectively solidifies Turner's relationship with the fans that showed up."
When pressed about how this adversely affects Turner, Manager #2 replied, "It's a give and take. We give and we take away. We've successfully taken Hal's network away from him, so we needed to solidify his relationship with his fans to keep it all going. I mean, we don't want to kill this thing. Hal's a major entertainment gravy train for us. In some circles this guy is a cult hit. This thing has spread like wildfire, especially among high schoolers. You don't have kids listening to Milli Vanilli or playing their Sega anymore, they're all listening to the Hal Turner Show. It's fucking crazy, babe."
With the operation in full swing on the ground, Turner engaged his internet radio feed. But according to suspiciously Caucasian and heterosexual Raid Ops Manager #4, that may have been Turner's worst mistake: "Normally Hal has his Shoutcast servers up for only a few hours at a time. What we effectively did was force him to keep them open for an entire day. My job in all this is to maximize the financial damage against Mr. Turner, and I can say that this certainly helped me reach and bypass my weekly, and even monthly, quota for bandwidth leeching." When asked about the raid's possible impact on the community, Detective Karl K. McKay from the North Bergen Police Department responded, "Unfortunately, since Hal Turner is a private citizen, I can't legally comment on him. But if I were you, I'd stay away from that coke-snorting faggot."
Turner's shirt, reading "Six Million More" and containing a Star of David, clearly failed to incite those in attendance, instead prompting requests for the shirt to be made available for purchase.
"What Hal doesn't understand about us is that we're very much racist", said Anonymous #3738. "We're racist against everyone, even whites. Anonymous, more racist than Hal Turner? I wouldn't have thought it possible, but there you go!"
In conclusion, when asked how Turner would react to the deception, Raid Ops Manager #1 remarked, "The Hal Turner raid as a whole, the whole 4-month thing, has been nothing short of epic. We learned from that big-time. The part of Hal Turner's persona that we exploited for this real-life raid was his tendency to believe, unchecked, whatever pops into his head."
He continued, "You know that Hal ran this real-life raid through his head every way possible, with glorious images of him provoking hundreds or thousands of people. You know that he genuinely thought he was important enough to warrant a massive turnout. Instead, Hal's ego imploded as reality came crashing down. You see how, even now, this late at night, he's still trying to milk it on his website."
When asked to elaborate, the manager continued, "Hal's days are over. These days it's about people like Jake Brahm. Jake got his name and face on every TV newscast in America and most of the world for just a few paragraphs of copypasta. Hal Turner has been shooting his mouth off for years and the government just doesn't care. He's insignificant! And what did he get? Some tiny picture in a local newspaper? That codifies his insignificance."
"You have a quote from one of our guys saying that we're more racist than Hal Turner. I'd say it goes deeper than that. In 20 years, when all the white nationalists have died off, we promise to keep racism alive and well for them. In effect, we are the new Hal Turner. We're the evolved Hal Turner. We're the smart Hal Turner. We do it better than Hal could ever dream to. Why? Because we are epic."
Turner, who allegedly performs a radio show every Wednesday night, was in tears as he declined comment. His wife, Phyllis Gertrude Turner, said that her husband was busy "unlying the beans".
[edit] Post Apocalyptic IRL Raid
Hal, finally succumbing to the march of the lulz, decided to try and hide from anon for over 9000 years. But before leaving, he decided to make one last stand.
http://www.halturnershow.com/HTS-04-25-07.mp3
It was full of fail and lulz as Pedro, his lover, bade Hal goodbye through one of his Mexican friends. However not all was lost as a loli called Hal up as well, enticing him away from his wife with her loli ways. From a source within the anon intelligence network, Hal's wife indicated that she is quite happy that Hal ditched her for the loli.
Feeling butt hurt, he sets up an subscription service for only "dedicated" subscribers, that may or may not contain an anon. This means he is now finally cutoff from the entire universe of the internet, specially as the redneck retards that had once made up Hal's audience are far too poor to afford electricity, let alone to subscribe to listen to his teachings of truth and enlightenment.
Thus, anon wins.
[edit] THE END?
we will find out!
Hal Turner is back, as of July 25, 2007.
Go now, for the lulz.
[edit] Hal uses AT-4 as dildo
HAL TURNER USED AT-4 MISSILE LAUNCHER TO BLOW UP ARTIE WIELER
[edit] Hal Turner blows up peru
According to Hal Turner himself, in response to a Newark shooting against niggers, Hal decided it would be wise to blow up peru (source)
[edit] Further Bullshit
As of August, Hal Turner has TOP SECRET INSIDER TREASURY INFORMATION that Mexico, the United States, and Canada are going to have freaky freaky vore sex and become one big country. Of course, even Snopes can see through this faggot tree, but when has Hal ever been gullible, foolish, or gay?
Quoth the champion of level-headed, objective journalism, "I personally vouch for this story and stand-by every world of it no matter how many filthy jews come out of the woodwork to say otherwise. I caught them and they know it."
[edit] Turner and lulzcon
This just in Hal Turner is going to lulzcon!
[edit] CNN
In response to the Jena 6 incident and the outbreak of noose-related shenanigans, CNN did a special report. Hal provided a unique perspective to the whole affair.
[edit] Battletoads
Hal Turner hates the evil gang of battletoads
[edit] Site's closed due to AIDS
On December 30, 2007 Hal was infected with AIDS after it evolved from GRIDS deposited in his asshole from fellow Stormfront members. http://www.halturnershow.com was forced to close its pool by the DHS due to health and safety concerns. The enormous irony of this is that it happened after Hal switched to his subscription-only https:// site; he had proudly announced that "the S is to keep out hackers- and unscrupulous governments." 7chan picked up on this quickly, and #insurgency at Partyvan told the g00ns all about Mr. Turner, who promptly used their actual hacking skills to take the site and release the usernames and passwords in hash of all his subscribers. They also found out that overall, he made more money from donations then he did from subscribers. They put up screenshots of his bandwidth costs, which totaled to a few hundred dollars as opposed to the thousands that he claimed to his paying customers. There was some pranking with his hosting subscription; but don't let me tell you, here it is from the man himself:
As far as we can tell, it would seem Anonymous raped him into going back into a free service, so that they can hear our own prank calls Live from metropolitan New York City every Wednesday evening from 9:00-11:00 eastern US time, and noting that /i/ and Partyvan have gotten over the drama of last year and will look forward to a new, invigorating lulz filled year.
[edit] Related Audio
- HalTurder.mp3 The initial call to Hal warning him that his dox have been posted (lol).
- LolHalsServersTakenByFeds.mp3 A call to Hal confirming what has happened to his website.
- Raidloli.mp3 The infamous raid loli.
(NOTE: 'Frecka', the loli in the call, informs us that the file cuts off because Hal hung up on her. There is nothing missing)
- HalturnerFBI.mp3 Anonymous talks to the FBI.
- Hal Turner's Final Broadcast
- Btard.mp3 Anonymous on the Hal Turner show.
- Hal Turner - Faggery Daggery Doo.mp3 Artie Wheeler's conversation with Hal Turner concerning the fag encyclopedia. Notice the messed up sound Hal makes right after hearing, "it's faggery daggery doo, boy." Hal's curious.
- HalTurnerLieksSquirtles.mp3 Hal Turner radio call in wherein he is asked if he lieks mudkips and admits on-air to lieking Squirtle.
- Halvoice.ogg THE ONE AND ONLY HAL VOICE, FROM HAL'S 1/31/07 SHOW.
- Hal-Speach.ogg Speach made just for hal.
[edit] See Also
- Alex Linder
- Kevin Strom
- Average Homeboy
- Glenn Beck
- Homosexual
- Cyber Posse
- Don Imus
- Al Sharpton
- Adam Reimer
[edit] External Links
- IRL Raid of Hal
- Halturner soundboard DELUXE includes his mother and father
- Full-Disclosure Post
- Full-Disclosure Post on his wife!
- The Official Hal Turner Show Website -
Website down, kicked out of datacenter. - Call to Hal and his wife
- Hal Turner Podcast
- Hal Turner admits to being involved in numerous violent crimes
- Hal Turner threatens violence to those who prank call him
- Hal Turner threatens violence once again
- The list of people who called Note that many numbers are invalid! Also he threatens violence here once again. It seems Hal can't express his emotions in any other way. Apparently no calls were ever made where his child was even spoken to, so Hal's tendency to lie also is apparent.
- Blog on Turner raiding
- Frontpaged Digg Article
- Real Time Raep meeter
- Wikichan article on Hal
- YTMND Propogandizes for Legion
- Real location of the person he claims to have beat
- DDOS of His Images (use Tor)
- Hal is a MySpace attention whore
- 1.3.07 Broadcast new link pwd is pylons (because you need moar in your life)
- Hal loves the Fresh Prince
- This is probably the most fame Hal will ever get.
- OLD DRAMA Even skinheads hate Hal.
- Arrested due to hal. Lulz
- Later that day, Hal Turner gets a major butthurt
- An hour long recording of Hal's show on 7//25/07, Choklit rein'd.
[edit] Gallery
 A rare photo of Hal showing his true colors |
 Internet tough guy, amirite? |
 Jamie Vazquez, in his Wheelchair, Beat-up Hal Turner |
 A rare image of Hal in his natural habitat |
 Screen shot of some bandwidth raping |
 Screen shot of hal's surrender! |
 Hal, go back to bed. |
|
 Hay wheres my internets? |
 IMMA CHARGIN MY LAZOR |
 BITCHES DONT KNOW BOUT MY RADIO SHOW |
 HOW DO I FAILED MEME |
 YEAH, SURE YOU'RE BACK HAL, WE HABEEB YOU. OR NOT. |
 Hal Turner with his wife Phyllis.. Er, Gertrude. Er, his mother. |
 <3 How could this happen to me? |
 MC.Fail Turner |
Hacked the first time on 12/30/07 |
 Hacked again on 12/31/07 after Hal got it back and said he was quitting the internet forever |
 MOAR HACK |
 xD |
Categories: Sites | Faggotry | People
