The Gorillaz
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
The Gorillaz are an animuted band from England created by two fags: Damon Albarn of britpop band the Blur's fame, and Jamie Hewlett, who drew some comic book called Tank Girl. They are known for their inability to figure out what the fuck genre they are, so they just record noise and assorted shit to put on their albums. Unfortunately for the Gorillaz, they can't have real concerts because they are a cartoon band. Instead, they have to rely on CG projections on a big screen to get fantards to pay money to hear said albums played on really big speakers. Despite the modest amount of creative potential available to an animu band, The Gorillaz are MTV to the core. As such, they are damned to burn inside Justin Timberlake's wart-covered rectum for all eternity.
Contents |
[edit] "Members"
The Gorillaz have a colourful cast of characters to play their "music".
[edit] Murdoc
The band's bassist, he would like to think he is the leader of the band, but everybody knows bassists can't be leaders. Like 2D, Murdoc is teh gay; he is also an STD-ridden Satanist who lives in a Winnebago and would rather rape 2D than bathe. Murdoc is a halfassed nudist, often seen wearing nothing but underwear, both at home, and on-stage. He likes animals, as evidenced by his pet crow, Cortez and has a tendency to use his unusually long tongue to pleasure said pet, as well as perform fellatio on 2D. He is also pedo for Noodle.
[edit] 2D
The band's pro-ana retarded singer and keyboard player, he is representative of the band's IRL co-founder, Damon Albarn, despite Albarn's denial of this fact. Some argue that 2D's lack of intelligence and fucked up eyes are the result of Murdoc running him over a couple of times with a car. In reality, 2D is a male prostitute who will take it in the eye sockets. He can often be seen with bruises and hickies, presumably from Murdoc. 2D has a lot of migraines as a result of all the skullfucking and as a result is generally high as a kite. It is rumoured that 2D is bicurious, as he apparently has children by a number of cock trappers.
[edit] Russel
The band's fatty American nigger drummer, Russel witnessed WTC, is often possessed by his dead friends, and sometimes totes around dead animals, which is supposedly why he has white eyes. In reality, it's because Jamie Hewlett is too busy drawing yaoi of 2D and Murdoc to be bothered with filling in Russel's eyes. It is partially Russel's fault that this band still has no fucking clue as to what music it plays. This is due to Russel bringing his rap and hip-hop buddies to their recording sessions while 2D is taking a fuck break with Murdoc.
[edit] Noodle
The band's underage, Japanese guitarist. Some argue that Noodle is a girl, but watch out! It's a trap! Noodle is, in fact, a man. This is obvious due to a marked lack of boobs. Noodle appears to be the brains of the operation, given that he is the only member of the Gorillaz that is not constantly engaged in sexual acts with his bandmates or possessed.
Noodle, like many other animu characters, has the was-bred-to-be-a-secret-weapon backstory with a side of amnesia. Noodle only spoke Japanese until the scientist who created him said one of his trigger words. This magically taught him Engrish, though did not give him the boobs he so wanted.
Noodle died during the filming of the music video for Manah Manah. This caused much angst among the fans, until they were reminded that, as a cartoon character, Noodle can be repeatedly resurrected with little or no explanation. He still doesn't have boobs though.
[edit] Fans
The band's audience are typically fags in that period between sex with their friends and masturbating. Most of them only like this shit band because they want to fuck them.
[edit] Ways to piss off the Gorillaz fandom
- Suggest a pairing between any two or more members of the band.
- Deny a pairing between any two or more members of the band.
- Deny a pairing between any member of the band and a fangirl.
- Dare to suggest that 2D's damaged eyes would not be genetically passed on to a Mary Sue's offspring.
- Be confused about Noodle's gender.
- Draw 2D with purple hair, when his hair is supposed to be indigo now!!11
- Claim that Noodle is dead.
- Refer to any member of the band as a cartoon character.
- Attempt to hack the official forums.
- Point out the incontrovertible fact that the Gorillaz' limpdicked attempts at "music" are nothing more than a cheap attempt to make Ghetto Rap acceptable for White People, much in the same way Moby attempts to make faggotry and techno easier for Black Folks to swallow without having any Ripple or MD 20/20 on hand.
[edit] Known Fantards
- Zeriara, who, besides drawing idiotic koala-eared lemurs, loves the Gorillaz, and has the Mary Sues and tattoos to prove it.
- Branca, who would like to be known as 2D's wife, and is a prime example of how messed up Gorillaz fans can be.
- Solee, who vandalized this page, and is not smart enough to do anything else.
- 2-J, power-hungry admin on a Gorillaz fansite.
- MurdocLuva, creator of the quality animation below:
|
The Gorillaz is part of a series on Music. |
|
|
